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You are here: Home / Archives for Zyboragon

Zyboragon

Zyboragon SOS Hall of Famer

May 30, 2013 By Seth 35 Comments

Hall of Fame Announcement
Hall of Fame announcement in progress…

In keeping with my pledge to catch up on the Hall of Fame inductions around here, I invite you to take a minute to read about the next SOS Hall of Famer to be inducted on Sunday, June 02. You may be surprised! I know I was.

Fast Fact About Zyboragon:

Zyboragon

1. Zyboragon is a green water dragon whose scales are very valuable and change color with the seasons. He has a prosthetic metal arm, if I’m not mistaken, the result of a long ago battle gone wrong.

2. He fought in and survived the dread Void Wars with minimal casualties. Unless you count aging an extra few hundred years and getting hit by a comet.

3. In fact, personally I think the Void Wars made Zyboragon stronger or at least wiser because he has kind of become famous around here for pithy, paradoxical and inspiring statements including:

It’s not what you are that determines what you can do.

It’s always a good time to learn.

A different approach, interesting but boring!

Making a difference is a simple as taking five minutes from your day to help someone else.

4. Zyboragon is uniquely capable of surveiling the supernatural weather and has saved many lives with his timely alerts.

5. Like any older dragon who is excellent at meditation, he is prone to loooooooooooooog, very long, many-O naps upon his treasure, which he keeps in a secret location. Which as of today, there is a standing bounty for anyone who can correctly pinpoint Zyboragon’s dragon lair full of treasure. (Or narrow it down, at least.)

*Note, results obtained by torture will not be accepted. Reasonably polite taunting however, is permissible. 

6. Because in Zyboragon’s secret lair he may or may not have stashed Forresst Fenn’s treasure – along with whatever other treasure he has dragon-ed away.

(You may recall how Zyboragon taunted my St. Patrick’s Day efforts to obtain this treasure for myself. I know I certainly do!)

7. Used to possess a coveted wormhole key that enabled him to teleport people. Does he still? Only one way to know for sure.

8. For more info about Zyboragon, please see his Survivor of the Month profile here.

9. Or you can just say hi to Zyboragon by posting a reply to any one of his comments below. If he’s not asleep or on a personal mission, he might just answer you back!

10. Leaving this one open for something good because you can’t leave a list at 9 but I want to save this for something good.

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: SOS Hall of Fame, SOS Survival Hall Of Fame, Zyboragon

Supernatural Weather Alert Expect Superplasminium Clouds, says Zyboragon

January 14, 2013 By Seth 4 Comments

 Zyboragon Four Day Forecast – Cloudy With a Chance of Superplasminium Clouds

Supernatural weather alert for the week of January 13 to 20, for those who missed it, Supernatural Meteorologist and Big Metal Dragon Dude Zyboragon is detecting higher than normal levels of superplasminium ether in Earth’s atmosphere, resulting in unpredictable and highly toxic superplasminium clouds.

Dragons, witches, angels and other flying phenoms are being advised to check for updates in their area before embarking on any high-flying adventures.

Zyboragon 4 Day Forecast

According to Zyboragon, Superplasminium Ether is highly toxic and can lead to a hint of grey scale syndrome. When inhaled via the respiratory systems it will affect the nervous system in three seconds flat.

How can you protect yourself from these particles and still make it home by sunrise? And how did this happen in the first place? Is anyone immune?

Until we can locate and stem the source of this Superplasminium, survivors are being advised to protect their skin, scales or fur and to avoid flying in hotter climes ie: above 70 degrees Fahreinheit. If you have the ability to travel below ground or through water, this may be a good time to deploy it.

However if you must fly, remember to fly cross wind and only take shallow breaths. Also remember Superplasminium clouds tend to congregate toward bigger objects, so avoid traveling in group formation and over major cities. According to Z, this is the key. Remain random and stay unique! 

Until then, thanks to Zyboragon for collecting and sharing his meteorological data with survivors and let me be the first to say, I knew you weren’t the kind of draconian to just slink away to your cave full of treasure at the end of your year to spend the rest of your life burning villages between naps. Okay yes I may feared that, just a little. And yes maybe I did strongly IMPLY that here on the site. But that was only because of that useless treasure map you left me.

(The map was a joke, right? Did you know that it ends in a janitor’s closet beneath The Shard? How exactly am I supposed to get near that?)

Anyway, I might have known Z would be up to some good where ever he went. It’s reassuring to see that him putting his supernatural meteorological diploma to good use. Who better to report on weather conditions than a dragon?

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: supernatural weather forecast, superplasminium, Zyboragon

Meet Zyboragon: Survivor of the Month

March 8, 2012 By Seth 189 Comments

I happen to be formed by my own metal!

-Zyboragon 

Survivor of the Month

Other Great Zyboragon Quotes:

Fate makes us fail at things to get better. 

Screw the prophecies, I should be the one who makes my own destiny 

Well what can really be said of Zyboragon?

Ah, LOTS! So much it’s hard to know where to begin. First, Zyboragon is remarkably cheerful for an angelic cyborg metal ghost dragon who arrived here following the destruction of his home, village and family. Oh sure sometimes he might have an epic battle with another survivor, say Mr. Mutt or The Doctor or Alex but he’ll also be the first to grant you a wish if you need one.

(Remember how he wish-returned Mr. Mutt’s six-shooter and even polished it?)

(Speaking of that, hey! I just noticed that I still have a wish left!)

And sure Zyboragon has some unconventional solutions to life’s little supernatural problems. But mostly that’s Stigma’s problem. Afterall Stigma is the only survivor on the site who Zyboragon has promised to a) freeze b) perform experimental chimera-ectomy surgery c) cure with controversial herbs and spells.

Z. always means well. He’s a loyal zombie rights advocate, very in touch with his inner zombie. And a founding member of Concerned About Cannibals. He’s very concerned about them. As a human myself I appreciate that.

He’s also the resident expert on Void Chipmunks here on the site (they hate salami) and he survived the great Burrito Storm of 2011. (What caused that again????) You can always count on Zyboragon.

Did I say always? Well maybe not always. Like everyone, Zyboragon has his enemies. And his frenemies. I’m talking about Abstract the Devourer and ARC and Ravenclaw for instance. Oh and don’t forget Samuel the Leprechaun who gets annoyed by the fact Zyboragon can eavesdrop on leprechaun communications when he flies near their towers.

It all started with Abstract, who seemed to resent the fact that Z. had a wormhole key that enabled him to teleport and he was using it help people on the site. Abstract needed that key to complete a set of four that would unleash the void on the world during the time of solstice, when a rip in the fabric between the worlds was already open. 

Also, it turned out that he had a clone, named ARC who liked to talk in third person and turned against him, trying to trap him in the void forever.

All of which caused what Zyboragon aptly refers to as an EOWC or End of World Crisis that he teamed up with others on the site, including Mr. Mutt and Stigma and the Doctor to successfully avert. During their battle ARC was killed.

(A good, quick summary of this is here)

Unfortunately, something else happened in that battle and Mr. Mutt turned against Zyboragon. I’m still trying to understand that part. It has something to do with a Voidsphere that temporarily controlled Mr. Mutt. Or maybe it’s also just one of those things that happens with friends who have epic times together. Sometimes friendship gets complicated and you get locked in a battle that results in one of you being sucked into another dimension. Hey it happens to all of us at some point. Just ask Graham.

So Zyboragon was MIA for a while. Which is normal for Survivors. We all come and go, checking in when we can with Proof of Life and an exciting update or just to check in, but for Zyboragon it was going to be very long time indeed. We actually don’t know how much time passed in that other dimension, but it was long enough site time, that Zyboragon’s old enemy ARC started to miss him and actually began to plot his rescue. (It turned out that ARC had been revived, but that’s another story, involving another dragon.)

We all wished Zyboragon would come back soon because ARC was getting pretty pushy on the site, threatening people with his lazer and claiming that only Zyboragon could kill him even while he blamed all of his problems on an evil corporation. But unfortunately ARC’s first attempt was a Fail.

But finally something worked and Zyboragon came back to kick ARC’s a$$.

Zyboragon explained that he could have come back sooner but he was actually on a mission in the void, looking for somebody else The Modern Age Vengeance Bringer. He said that in Void Time he had actually just lived hundreds of years  And for the next while, it seemed like Z. went in and out of the void. (Not because he liked the chipmunks! )

(At one point he got hit by a comet and I’m afraid that may have really affected him because he started rambling about cloning Aflak ducks to create an army of undead life-insurance duck, just for the irony of it…)

Back on the site, Zyboragon helped Bebe try to recover her sister Vee from the vampire hospital where she was taken for transformation by her BF Damien. And when it couldn’t be done, he plotted with Mr. Mutt and others to locate the Pool of Eternals and help kill The Original.

Just when things seemed to be going well again, there was an un-existence bomb that went off and started to erase not just him but the memory of him in the minds of everyone on the site. Before long, Zyboragon was experiencing an non-existential crisis so deep that the only thing anyone could remember about him was his arm. That metal arm. With no thumbs…. Not even two arms. Just one arm.

Luckily Zyboragon was saved by a Time Gap that restored him but when he returned to the site, he was 300 years older now.

What followed was a sad event, I’d rather not write it but I guess I have to. Zyboragon tried to settle down and raise a family but his only dragon eggs were destroyed, taking the dream of his future son away. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

He’s more serious now and a bit quieter but he’s still keeping on. You can hear his a pre-recorded message here  if you want to know what’s been happening with lately.  He also posted a helpful warning recently about some dopplegangbangers on the site, which I really appreciated. ~~~shapeshifters!~~~

And that about brings us about up to date about Zyboragon, a great contributer and Survivor of the Month. If you watch these pages you might be lucky enough to catch him on. And if you’re nice to him and you need one, he might be persuaded to grant you a wish. If he can. If he has any left. He might get them from the Leprechauns so maybe he can get more this month, I don’t know. Did I mention how he uses cell towers to track them down?

Just don’t get him started on Void Chipmunks! Or buy him a hat.

Hail Survivors,

Please let me know if you see any errors in this story or something you want to add. Just let me know in the comments section. 

Keep on keeping on for Mr. Mutt’s profile tomorrow and more to come on the next full moon. 

Thanks and goodnight!

Seth

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: 2012, angelic cyborg metal ghost dragon, dragon, fate makes us fail at things to get better, Monstrometer, SOS, Survivor of the Month, Zyboragon

Zombie Valentine News

February 14, 2012 By Seth 5 Comments

For anyone who missed the big Valentine’s Day announcement from Zyboragon, there’s an explanation for the mysterious zombie valentine posted to the site yesterday (below).

And it’s good news for all you non-cannibals. Zombies have taken V-day to re-respect a 1987 decision to restrict feeding habits to cannibals. Check it out!

20120214-185948.jpg

Apologies to any cannibals out there. However you should be aware, as a cannibal you are in fact at risk of spontaneously developing ZSE anyway and turning zombie at some point regardless. Any further questions or concerns, please feel free to give Ted Turner a call OR join the protest outside Zyboragon’s house…

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: Cannibals, council of zombies, non-cannibals, seth on survival, Ted Turner, zombie council, zombie council of 1987, zombie valentine, Zombies, Zyboragon

Zombie Berries

January 11, 2012 By Seth 8 Comments

Hail Survivors,

I recently received the following disturbing email from long time friend to the site and survivors everywhere, Zyboragon.

The contents of his email are below:

Dear Seth,

I was talking to my good friend Terry (the zombie) and he mentioned a new kind of berry that mimicked the flavor of a human brain. I asked to see one of these berries.

The berry can only be grown rotten, the rot helps mimic the appearance of roasted flesh, something that zombies enjoy quite vividly. In a taste test hosted by Terry, 9/10 zombies agree that the berry actually tastes better than real brains!

While this berry produces good news on the zombie front, it has angered many cannibals.

I got to speak with one such cannibal.

Z: Why does the berry offend you?

Cannibal: We eat our own species, it’s tradition! The berry looks like burnt flesh, it’s intolerable! Several cannibals have given up our sacred tradition to try this new berry! We simply cannot allow it to exist.

Z: That sounds like a good thing though.

Cannibal: To you! It makes us look bad when someone quits! Personal image and respect are important to us!

The cannibal then took off shouting “You’ll regret this zombies”!!

Even though cannibals dislike the new berry, many stores are already selling the zombie berry. The public release of this new produce shows zombies have extended a hand to help improve zombie/human relations.


This news is both great and distressing. Early calculations show that this development could reduce human casualties from zombies by as much as 37% but a Cannibal-Zombie War could lead to untold casualties. Further developments will be posted as they develop.

A big thanks to Zyboragon for alerting us. He has definately wracked up quite a few lives saved.

Keep on keeping on.

Seth

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Filed Under: Survivor Submissions Tagged With: berries, Cannibals, Humans, survivors, Zombies, Zyboragon

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Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

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