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President Adopts Werewolf, Bogus Mermaid School & Shopaholic Robot

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SOS Supernatural News This Week

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After my extended trip North to investigate the brewing war for the Pole between Denmark, Canada and Russia and of course Santa Claus himself, I have returned to find a backlog of supernatural news tips and comments. Thanks to every survivor who survived with SOS over the dark season! I’ll try now to catch up, starting with a supernatural news roundup of some global events that could sound your supernatural sonar this week, starting with:

Mermaid School Meh in Montreal

Bogus Mermaids in Montreal
Bogus Mermaids in Montreald

If you are of the Mermish mind, don’t be fooled by the siren song of this so-called “Mermaid School ” open in Montreal this week.

On the school’s website the school promises to teach “all the magic of mermaids, before inviting all Sirens or Tritons to apply for their $60.00 introductory course.

Which sounds like a great deal for all the magic of mermaids – who are of course mightily magical beings – but before you shell out, better read the whole site and let the truth sink in. The real mission of this school is far more modest than magic. The only magic here turns out to be mighty abs. That’s right, it’s a fitness class for the aquatically apt.

Now I’m not against any supernatural improvement resolutions for New Year’s. Fitness is imperative to survival and I encourage any survivor to train in their chosen domain and sharpen their skills, whether it be ninja fighting, pack running or time jumping but no real mermish will be challenged by a few laps in an indoor swimming pool, even under the instruction of a real mermaid of Triton, so do yourself a favor and save your shells for that trip to Atlantis.

President Adopts Werewolf Boy

This one’s the real thing, survivors. The President of Argentina has adopted a werewolf boy to save him from turning on the first Friday after his 13th birthday.

Many SOS survivors are painfully aware of the fact some parents will stop at nothing to suppress your latent lycanthropy ~ silver-titanium braces anyone?~ but what if they put you out for adoption like these parents described here?

The President Who Adopted a Werewolf
The President Who Adopted a Werewolf

It could happen if you live in Argentina and you have 6 older brothers.

In that country a rare form of lycanthropy is believed to be inherited by only the 7th son in a family.

Tradition states this 7th son will turn into a demon werewolf on the first Friday after his 13th birthday and become a killer every full moon thereafter.

So when a 7th son was born to parents Shlomo and Nehama, they figured rather than mess with witch spells and silver baths, they would put baby Tawil up for adoption instead.

I’m sure Tawil could do fare worse than find himself adopted by the president of his country, but let this be a lesson to young lycans everywhere. Things could be worse. You could be a werewolf in Argentina.

Now let’s hope the president is not surprised when this so-called quick-fix cure fails on the first Friday after Tawil’s 13th birthday. Writing to warn her today is on my to-do list. If you are a concerned werewolf, I would urge you to do the same.

Shopaholic Robot Turns to Crime

What do you get when you give a shopaholic robot an allowance of 100 bitcoin a week?

You get a drug dealing criminal cyborg, according to reports. The robot known as the Darknet Shopper has reportedly gone rogue, and has started dealing in ecstasy and fake passports this week.

While admittedly not the crime wave I most fear most from a rogue robot, this story should sound your SOS sense. It’s a short jump from dealing in contraband drugs and cards to guns and then what? Guns don’t kill people but cyborgs with guns most certainly do.

So be on the alert Survivors. And welcome to 2015 here on SOS. Long may we keep on keeping on.

No Silver Bullet for Werewolf Breath

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While not nearly as bad as zombie breath, a dogged mouth odour that lingers long after morning is one of the earliest and most reliable warning signs of lycanthropy so it comes as no surprise that breath-mint companies would clamour to cash in on the condition.

Cashing in on werewolf breath.
Cashing in on werewolf breath.

But whether you are a werewolf yourself or just friends with one, please beware of their supernatural claims there is no real silver bullet for werewolf breath here.

I received a box of these mints as a gift for review from an anonymous sender on the Dog Days moon, along with a note informing me that these so-called silver bullet mints could be used to cure lycanthropy – or at least the concomitant buccal conditions associated with it.

Now nobody wishes more than I do that any being could just bite a minty candy bullet to cure unwanted werewolf mutagens, but the science here does not support it.

Despite their grayish color, these mints contain absolutely no real edible silver whatsoever and while this may be good news for any werewolves who have unwittingly accepted such a mint from a friend, it renders this candy completely ineffective for full moon protection.

They do contain a certain amount of sucrose and artificial mint flavour to provide temporary relief from wolf breath during the dog days but the only kind of werewolf who would be sidelined by these mints is a diabetic one.

So go ahead and enjoy them. I’ll be the first to admit the reusable metal box is handy, and looks awesome, but don’t count on the mints to ward off a real werewolf, even if the werewolf is you. Especially if the werewolf is you. Review the many werewolf survival tips you’ll find here on SOS and at yourlupinelife.com instead.

 

Seth

Dangerous Werewolf Diet Turning Hollywood Celebs Into Lycans

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The Dog Days full moon always brings a record number of new lycans into packs around the world, but his year a dangerous new diet fad brings the new scary prospect of aging Hollywood celebs devoted to following the so-called werewolf diet wolfing out around the world.

Is dangerous werewolf diet turning aging Hollywood celebs into lycans?
Is dangerous werewolf diet turning aging Hollywood celebs into lycans?

Sources report that a strange new diet called the Werewolf Diet gaining popularity among older Hollywood celebs like Madonna and Demi Moore hoping to regain their youthful strength and vigour may actually be turning them into werewolves.

“Instead of eating normal food, on the full moon she starts drinking this stuff,” says Janice W.  former assistant to Madonna. “And then things start to get weird…”

According the website Moon Connection the drink in question is just juice and there’s no need to be alarmed but her former assistant is not so sure.

“Then how do you explain her change in behaviour? As the moon rises, she gets grumpier and grumpier until finally she just locks herself away.”

Lycanthropologists point out this is classic behaviour for a werewolf but according to one, Dr. Dominicus Van Buran, it’s still unclear if the drink is an effort to trigger a transformation or actually a desperate attempt to forestall one.

“If the drinks contain extract of lupin and/or colloidal silver this could actually be a diet designed to prevent an unwanted transformation,” states the Doctor. “However if it contains a lycanthroporous extracts directly from a living donor, it could indeed be a misguided attempt to become a werewolf.”

Until we know what exactly is in the drinks it’s impossible to know. Smart survivors will be on the lookout for celebrity werewolves this full moon.

3 Signs You Could Be Facing a Celebrity Werewolf

1. Big, Blingy Teeth And Nails

Celebrity werewolves allegedly prefer to avoid full wolf form so they can retain the expensive gemstones in their dental work and manicures. So if you are facing a blingy werewolf in wolf man form this full moon, it could be somebody famous.

However as ultimate transformation control is generally only an achievement of an experienced werewolf, this can result in a trail of gemstones left behind by a new werewolf celebrity so also keep your eyes open for a trail of diamonds.

2. Fashionable Full Moon Gear

While most werewolves prefer to save their human clothing and go au natural into the full moon, celebrity werewolves invest a lot of time and money into form-fitting transformation gear. So if you spot a werewolf wearing high-tech yoga pants, hold your laughter. At least long enough to snap a selfie with them.

3. Beware Their Lean and Rangy Look

Because celebrity werewolves go into their transformation so hungry, they are especially dangerous. The diet – or failed diet – that brought them to this point makes them even more dangerous than average, especially to their pets but also to anyone else they encounter. At this point you can’t count on a mere muffin to protect you. It’s going to take a juicy steak or a medium sized pet. If you don’t have either handy, asking for an autograph can buy you some time, but be prepared for a fight. Start by reviewing the werewolf survival tips here on SOS and elsewhere on the Internet including yourlupinelife.com.

Archaeologists Uncover Bones of Demon Wolf Black Shuck Werewolves of Bungay Enraged

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As the bones of legendary demon wolf Black Shuck were uncovered by archaelogists this week, how will the shadowy Werewolves of Bungay protest this desecration of his holy bones?

Bones of legendary demon wolf exposed.
Bones of legendary demon wolf exposed.

Archaeologists uncovered massive 7 foot long wolf bones that had been ceremonially buried at a church in  Suffolk, England this week, and  confirmed they had found the secret grave of legendary demon wolf, Black Shuck, who terrorized church goers in the middle ages.

Famous for his flaming claws that burned scorch marks into church doors, Black Shuck terrorized church goers in the middle ages, attacking them when they knelt to pray. A survivor account by Reverend Abraham Fleming in 1577 describes a typical Black Shuck attack like this:

‘This black dog, or the divel in such a linenesse (God hee knoweth al who worketh all,) running all along down the body of the church with great swiftnesse, and incredible haste, among the people, in a visible fourm and shape, passed between two persons, as they were kneeling uppon their knees, and occupied in prayer as it seemed, wrung the necks of them bothe at one instant clene backward, in somuch that even at a moment where they kneeled, they strangely dyed…”

Strangely dyed indeed….

This sign of the Bungay Werewolves can be seen everywhere.
This sign of the Bungay  Lightning Werewolves can be seen everywhere.

The very strangeness of these deaths soon became apparent as Black Shuck went from reviled divel to the object of veneration by his survivors – or should I say strange dyers. Soon after a brutal Sunday attack in the middle of a lightning storm, survivors in the town of Bungay began inexplicably to hoist the image of Black Shuck everywhere, even putting him on their coat of arms to declare their allegiance.

And Bungay remains the flaming heart of Black Shuck’s demon wolf legacy. Even today it is said to be the seat of power for at least two different clans. Both Lightning and Shadow Werewolves may be found there at locations bearing signs that look like this —>>>

Just how will the werewolves of Bungay react to the news that Black Shuck’s secret grave has been discovered and his bones exposed to the world? Without a proper re-burial, will there be a full moon resurrection of the demon wolf?

I have contacted several villagers via Skype and Facebook with these questions and more but so far none will comment, clear evidence to me they are living in fear. Or else they are all in on the plan…

We’ll be looking into this one and more all week here at SOS. If you live in Bungay or happen to know somebody who lives there, I hope you will report.

Thanks for keeping on,

Seth

Hunter Moon Eclipse

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Hunter moon eclipse
Hunter moon eclipse survival party

The hunter moon rises again tonight in the wake of a long lunar eclipse that caused all moonlight fuelled activities to cease, and allowed shadowy beings with shadowy agendas into the night, creating one of the most dangerous full moons of the year. Or almost certainly in the top 12 anyway.

On the bright side, if you’re  surviving check back here for some cheery summaries of the midnight mayhem. We’ll check in on survivors with some colorful links in no particular order and maybe an exciting full moon announcement, who knows.

Will the curse continue and be passed on to another (un)lucky survivor? Check back here to find out…

On the Hunter Moon the Hunter Becomes the Hunted…

–>> So is HUNTER a hunted on the hunt? What or who is he hunting exactly this moon? On the Hunter Moon don’t click on this link at your peril.

Minotaur Defeat Report

–>> Find out how the DEMIGOD did it and why. Or not. Will he tell?

When Is Your Moon?

–>> Good explation here from VELANKO explains the difference between genetic and bitten werewolves, using 85% fewer words than any explanation I ever gave.

Anyone Know How to Re-cork a Sword Spirit? 

–>> Update on the malevolent spirit of KZAZ’s sword in progress… left with a cursed butterknife it seems the Contali is fading fast. MR. MUTT comes in with some time mojo here. Did he succeed in re-bottling her?

Warning for WWs

–>> I hate to link to myself here but…. okay that’s a lie. I love to link to myself. And in this case, I think it’s warranted.  WWs who go around threatening people i.e.: me like WOLFBLOOD here need to learn an important lesson in supernatural survivology…

Battle on the River Lethe

–>>SCARLETT and the REAPER … what in Hades is going on  here?

Delivery for Whom?

–>>Who is sending wraiths by UPS and why? Did  URBAN SQUATCH deliver a malevolent package on the lunar eclipse?

Demon Lore

–>> HATTER claims this is an effective demon repellent.  Is he madder than a hatter afterall? And where can a survivor get one of his handy hats? See what they do HERE

Proofs of Life

–>> Therianthrope VENOMTONGUE & WW MOONSONG checking in to say they still survive. Let’s see who else…

Reapers Day Off

–>> What does a REAPER do on his day off anyway? HINT: it involves popcorn. Why is he leaving this night to the hunters?

Howling Harvest Moon, 2013

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Have you heard the howls? That’s cause the HARVEST MOON is here, in the Northern Hemisphere anyway, bringing all the singingest werewolves out. Will you put a moon cake under your pillow tonight? I’ve got mine ready. Cuz there’s a lot of strange dreams going around, you might want to join the fun. Whether it’ll be the Nyte Mares or a Dreamcation, it’s too soon to tell, but hey you can’t win if you don’t play.

Full Moon Rising
Full Moon Rising

For instance….

–> Need an item delivered this full moon but not sure who to trust? Leave a message for URBAN SQUATCH he seems like a reliable if hairy and fragrant delivery dude. No werewolf will attack a sasquatch – not even an urban one. And he may have managed to deliver THE REAPER his free will. But is he brave enough to deliver that ambrosia mixture to…

–> …the SCARLETT LUPA What’s she up to now? Is this something about the Night Mares again? Thanks to dark dragon JERRY for looking into the situation. It looks like something epic brewing here. What exactly is a mashin raylight anyway? If I ask will she just call me CHILD again? Will somebody else ask?

–> Ever wondered about how different packs celebrate on the full moon? WEREWOLF13 talks a bit about that here.

–> Or maybe you, like JERRY the dark dragon have been wondering about the chaos werewolves AKA the Chaotica who sometimes stop by SOS then read up about it from CHAOS ALPHA...

–> How does VELANKO stay calm on the full moon when he’s not fighting off other reapers and dragons? You’ll have to read to find out.

In the morning we’ll see who survived this moon and how and why. AND then make our last full moon Survivor announcement before Halloween when we have a big-little surprise to reveal. Look for the SURVIVOR OF THE MONTH curse, I mean, clues coming soon.

Hope you’ll keep on keeping on for that and more.

Survivally Yours,

Seth

P.S. for more information check out this article over on yourlupinelife.com, “What Makes the Harvest Moon Sing?“.