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When Friend is A Werewolf But He Doesn’t Know How Do You Tell Him So He Doesn’t Freak Out? SOS Email of the Week

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Ah to tell or not to tell and if to tell, how?  Self-denial is a supernatural force to be sure, how do you break through it safely? Think about it. Was that really a werewolf disguised as grandma – or was everybody just too scared to tell the old lady about what long, pointy teeth she really had until it was way too late?

We get a lot of email here at SOS.  This is, after all the fourth or maybe even the fifth most popular site on the Interwebs for supernatural survivologists like you and me, depending on the time of day.

Is there any safe way to tell a friend they are a werewolf?
Is there any safe way to tell a friend they are a werewolf?

(And of course, many survivors – you know who you are – continue to send in reports from their ongoing research which is much appreciated and featured as content on the site whenever possible.)

I appreciate all of the correspondence and I try to respond to as many emails as I can personally but sometimes an email is very instructive for everyone, like this one from… let’s call him Mr. Smith —>>>

This, Mr. Smith, is exactly the reason why Graham and I invented The Monstrometer in the first place. Because telling a friend he’s a werewolf – or a vampire or a ghost – is somewhat more complicated than informing him of the s-ball in his left nostril. If the little girl in the red hood had stopped to download The Monstrometer and scanned her grandmother, a village might have been saved.

That said, how do you share Monstrometer results with a subject who remains in stubborn denial of their supernatural self?

I’ll put up three and add to it as survivors contribute… with all due credit, of course.

8 Ways To Tell Your Friend He’s a Werewolf without Him Freaking Out

1. Send your friend an email. You could send him one either:

a) Directly from The Monstrometer but if you don’t want him to know it comes from you, Mr. Smith then

b)  I can send it from my account. Maybe something simple like:

“You have just been scanned by concerned friend who wants you to know that you are in fact actually a werewolf.”

2.  Ask a certified Monster Therapist like The Hatter to stop by and stage a Monster Intervention.

Does he perform this service? Apparently, yes! Contact him by leaving a REPLY here to negotiate a rate.

*Just please ignore everything else that he says about me. I would never decapitate a suspected werewolf.

3. A tried and true method proposed by The Reaper – make him mad and see if he transforms. New werewolves can’t control the were-rage and will transform every time.

*Note this one is only effective if the subject has already experienced their first moon and remains in denial of it every happening.

4. Hire a mariachi band to sing the results to your friend between classes.

5. Drop hints to test his level of lycanthropy and watch him react, for instance show him photos of the moon, or play a wolf’s howl, hopefully this leads to a discussion. –>> Moonsong

6.. Just take your friend out on the full moon and help him through his first transformation. Hopefully you are an experienced enough werewolf to time your own transformation to happen immediately following his – and after you take those photos for later proof. –>>Moonsong

7.. Take him somewhere quiet and private then just break the news. Yelling is unavoidable, however so be prepared. –>> Fenri

8. Don’t beat around the bush. Just let them have it and at least you did your part trying to help them. –>> Scarlett

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this very informative list. Which will prove the most effective? Keep on keeping on to find out.

The True Werewolf History of Valentine’s Day

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Well it’s V-Day again! This year, take a moment out from your annual anti-stalker preparations to recall the ancient werewolf roots of Valentine’s Day – but no more than a moment! That would be highly inadvisable. It’s called Lupercalia and it may not be romantic but it’s 99.99% true, like everything else on this site.

Centuries before Emperor Claudius condemned poor St. Valentine to a terrible teddy bear and chocolate death for the then-crime of marrying heterosexual couples, there were twin boys named Romulus and Remus in Rome. Like many twins, Romulus and Remus created quite a bit of chaos by their birth. Even more so because these twins were the children of demi-gods. Their dad was Mars, the god of war and their mom a forest diety named Rhea Silva.

Twin boys raised by a werewolf founded Rome
Romulus and Remus saved by a werewolf on this day.

As a result, these powerful babies Romulus and Remus scared the emperor. He ordered them  abandoned in the woods and left to die in the middle of winter. He also locked their mom Rhea Silva in a convent.

But the emperor didn’t know that Rhea Silva, whose name means “forest spirit” could still communicate with the animals in the forest. She made a deal with a powerful she-wolf named Lupa that if Lupa would adopt her sons and give them milk to save their lives, that she would share them with Lupa on every full moon.

Lupa agreed to the deal and found Romulus and Remus deep in the woods, roughly on this day in February. She fed them her own milk and this caused the physiological changes that would save their lives and turn them into werewolves on the full moon. So that when they became adults, on every full moon the twins would turn into werewolves and always return to her in the forest.

So how does this lead to Valentine’s Day?

Well when Romulus and Remus grew up they used their powers to found the city of Rome and every year in February, Rome held a celebration in honor of their wolf mom, Lupa. Hence the Roman statue of Lupa feeding her wolf-milk to Romulus and Remus above. This celebration was called “Lupercalia,” after Lupa herself.

On Lupercalia the citizens of Rome would party by making chocolate wolf-milk and stuffed wolf toys and trying to get a date. Except for the werewolves of course, who would transform even if it wasn’t a full moon and retreat deep into the forest together for their own secret Lupercalia celebration, about which little is known.

It may not the most romantic story but it’s 99.98% true.

(Minus the one little missing part where Romulus kills his own brother Remus in a fit of were-rage over where to put the city of Rome. Were-rage. Big problem for the lupine kind. Read more about were-rage here on the werewolves page.)

Seth

My Lupine Life by Louis Pine

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Lest your face be turning blue holding your breath – or even if it isn’t – they’re finally here! All 13 episodes of “My Lupine Life” By Louis Pine, proving yet again that once in a blue moon Graham and I can actually get our act together. Sort of.

Quick re-cap for those of you who missed it. Last summer, a survivor and suspected lycanthrope named Louis Pine contacted SOS for supernatural help and advice. Many of you pitched in and then I took to the road to meet him, the longest pizza delivery in history. These videos are the result…

“My Lupine Life” By Louis Pine

My name is Louis Pine and I think I’m a genetic werewolf on my dad’s side. Unfortunately nobody believes me. That’s why I made these videos, to prove it.

Play all 13 episodes in order! (this Playlist only works on a Mac or PC. If you have an iPad, iPod Touch or iPhone then please watch individual episodes below)

Episode 01 – Crib Notes:
After a hard day of lycanthropy testing, Mauricio and I go check out an old werewolf crib in the woods.

Episode 02 – Were’s Mauricio?:
Looks like I’m not the only lycanthrope here. All I’m saying is Mauricio should not have wandered off alone.

Episode 03 – Werewolf Intervention:
It’s an old fashioned werewolf intervention, complete with colloidal silver (I made it myself) and sterile bandages. Unfortunately my neighbor Sydney wants to help.

Episode 04 – The First 48:
Acquired or bitten lycanthropy can be cured in the first 48 hours post-bite, any genetic lycanthrope knows that. Now if I can just convince Mauricio before it’s too late.

Episode 05 – Stage Two:
Great. Mauricio’s still mad at me even though I cured him and now Sydney wants to be my keeper. What next? Oh yeah, the full moon is coming…

Episode 06 – Cribbing:
Full moon fever, Part I.

Episode 07 – Keep On Keeping On:
Hey! It’s that guy from the Internet, Seth On Survival. Turns out he was reading my messages too.**

**Uh yeah Louis, think the email seth@sethonsurvival might have been a clue?

Episode 08 – Were Dad?
My mom is pretty mad at me for staying out all night.

Episode 09 – Uncle Lincoln
My mom called in my dad’s identical twin brother Uncle Lincoln to straighten me out. Yeesh. What is that thing he gave me????

Episode 10 – The Cure
Well it’s official. The results are in and I am cured.

Episode 11 – Dragon Moon Part I
Did I tell you there’s no such thing as a Dragon Moon? See for yourself.

Episode 12 – Dragon Moon Part II
AAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfgggggghhhhhfffff. Nuff said.

Episode 13 – Dragon Moon Part III
Is that really me? And what happened to Sydney?

That’s all the videos that I’ve got right now. Thanks to Louis for contacting survival with his story and for sharing the result.

And big thanks to everyone here who just keeps on creeping on with SOS, offering your help and advice and your awesome stories. You make survival possible. Thank you.

Seth

Lightning Moon: Survivor of the Month

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It’s a well-known fact more new werewolves will experience their first transformation under it than any other month of the year. Very appropriate considering it’s the Dog Days first brought the new Survivor of the Month. See if you can guess who it is:

CLUES:

1. This survivor’s improvised weapon of choice is a frying pan.

2. This survivor started wearing a little silver bracelet to prevent uncontrolled transformations.

3. This survivor blew the lid off anti-lycanthropic orthodontics and created an anti-braces movement here on the site.

If you haven’t guessed it by now it’s…

HOWLIN’ WITH WEREWOLF GIRL AKA: SCAR

How appropriate that Werewolfgirl AKA: Scar (her WW name) would be Survivor of the Month for the Dog Days Moon since it’s during the Dog Days that she made her first appearance on the site.

At the time WWgirl suspected that she might be a genetic WW but she had not experienced her first transformation yet.  She had many signs of lycanthropy. She couldn’t sleep at night, she experienced free-floating fits of were-rage and worst of all, she had recently discovered that she loved to howl at the moon – in human form.

Needless to say, WWgirl was pretty worried that one of her neighbors was going to alert the police. Or worse, the Paranormal Police. Or worse yet, Area 51. Or worse, worse than that, upload an embarrassing youtube video.

It was a bit of a mystery to the other WWs on the site though because we did try to reassure her that it was normal to howl at the moon in human form, but in truth, most WWs only howl in WW form. As we tried to figure it out, she wondered if her parents had ordered anti-lycanthropic orthodontics to prevent her transformation. That her braces contained a silver coating that was enough to restrain her transformation.

Many WWs on the site became concerned and looked into the situation, leading to the astonishing news that yes, in fact some unscrupulous orthos were in collusion with anti-lycan forces to try to prevent young WWs from transforming. Their theory, and we still don’t know if it’s true, is that by preventing a WW’s first transformation long enough, the lycanthropy genes will go dormant in adulthood.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, for WWgirl it didn’t work. The pull of the Dog Star overcame the pull of the silver in her braces and she experienced her first transformation around this time one year ago, and the WWgirl became Scar.

For a while Scar could only type with her claws on the site and as a result her messages became mainly pictograms like the one below.

(=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)

Whenever I get a call about a WW sighting I keep my eyes open for markings like these, so I will know if it was Scar. (Although I still won’t know what it means. I need a werewolf translator…)

There have been several (unconfirmed) reports of her distinctive claw marks on fences and trees and even in one human’s face – but they are only unconfirmed rumors.

Anyway after a while Scar got the hang of controlling her transformations using a silver bracelet and she stops by the site regularly. She has a soft spot for humans who dream of becoming werewolves. Werewolfgirl will never bite the uninitiated, but she researches and shares alternative ways to acquire lycanthropy.  Like this information about a baptismal ritual said to induce lycanthropy in otherwise average humans. She also checks in regularly to see if there’s anything she can do to help out, which I really appreciate and so do many other survivors.

An Interview with WWgirl AKA Scar:

**Please note, WWgirl Scar is not the most talkative interview subject. Her answers are a little evasive and they raise many more questions that you might like to ask her.  

1.  Which family member is the source of your lycanthropy? How long has lycanthropy been in your family?

I think my Dad. 

2. How do you use the silver bracelet to control your transformations? (If you still do.)

I lost the bracelet, sadly.

3. Do you still hide your lycanthropy from your family and friends?

Not really, I haven’t  transformed yet , so no need. ***

What the…?  Can she be believed? Is WWgirl covering her tracks?  Especially considering her answer to the next question…

4. Can you tell us anything about a mission you are on or have been on lately?

I haven’t done much, except maybe almost kill some mean people.

5. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one other supernatural being who would it be and why?

um…I’m not sure. Maybe you, if you count…

See how she turned the interview around on me? Clever WWgirl very clever.

Thanks for keeping on. Any info we can gather to clarify this interview, I hope you will post it below.

Cool as a Cyborg

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(SOS/ASAP/WTF) We can all agree that cyborgs and werewolves normally have very little in common, one being a hot-tempered lycomorph and the other a paragon of perfect reason.

But at the height of these dog days, in the wake of nasty solar flares, almost no other being can sympathize with a werewolf like your average cyborg.

(Except maybe zombies who experience a rapid acceleration of their already accelerated decay.)

Okay maybe they don’t exactly sympathize, after all they’re still cyborgs, but you get the idea. While werewolves struggle with the fury of fur, cyborgs in the city are crashing all around us these days, especially older models with obsolete cooling technology. You see them everywhere stalled in the shade with blank expressions, just waiting to be rebooted on a cooler day. Or roaming the stores, sucking up all the air conditioning in one location after another.

So if have a cyborg friend or a you are a cyborg, a reminder these days to wear your coolest clothes is in order. Like this cooling vest worn at the Beijing Olympics by cyborg competitors like this gold medalist in the hundred yard handsome. The vest circulates cooling fluid in a fun pattern that says, yeah I’m hot but I’m still cool…

Older model cooling vests have handy pockets for gel packs.

But if you don’t want to run the risk – or expense  of a handsome high-tech unit like the one above, older model vests feature hidden pockets for cooling gel packs.

Just put them in the freezer at night and slip them in your pocket before you go outside. Sure you look a bit like a Walmart greeter, but so? That’s an honorable job and besides, it’s better to be cool than to look cool.

But on that note, why bother with a special vest at all? Why not invent your own personal polar technology?

Like this super highttech cooling hat for instance:

Super high tech cooling cap

This hat uses the wonder of running H2O technology and the freezification potential of your own refrigerator to create a personal polar ice cap that is perfectly molded to the shape of your head. Simply soak and freeze the night before you need it.

But why stop at your cap? Why not soak and freeze your entire ensemble, from your tie to your undies? Okay, yeah, it’s a little hard to put it on. Sure, it loses some of its shape. But won’t it be worth it?**

Got any other tips or tricks to help us all survive the scorching days of  the dog? Thanks for sharing them and of course, thanks for keeping on.

**Some users may experience isolated episodes of brain freeze

***SOS not responsible for any short-circuits that may result from melting ice caps.

Survivor of the Month: Wolf Princess

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Here’s the first clue to the Survivor of the Month for the Dragon Moon, 2012:

Do you recognize this Survivor of the Month?

1. Είμαι με κανένα τρόπο αυτοκτονίας, αλλά να κάνω έντονα την επιθυμία να είναι με την αγάπη μου και πάλι.

2. Is a vegetarian who loves meat ice cream.

3. Has braces in human form but transforms regularly with no additional pain or difficulty

4. A rare, 100% werewolf turned white demon wolf with red eyes:

By now you’ve probably guessed, this Survivor of the Month is Wolf Princess!

The Harrowing Tale (And Red Eyes & White Fur & Braces) Of a Wolf Princess:

Wolf Princess is a rare, 100% werewolf of suspected genetic origin. She first came here with a simple question, should I join a pack? Or remain a lone wolf?

Wolf Princess revealed that she had been spending her moons alone in the yard. For safety, she instructed her sister to lock her out of the house. Then she roamed the neighborhood trying to avoid contact with others, particularly humans with cameras. But it wasn’t working. Somebody eventually snapped a photo. She found it on the Internet and the other survivors had to talk her out of taking revenge on the photographer.

Shortly after this, Wolf Princess built her own secret crib so she could avoid these situations.

Unfortunately, before she could even use this new crib for the first time, there was a rash of A-51 attacks on the site that caught a lot of survivors, including Wolf Princess. She was caught mid-transformation and collared with a silver collar.

(This attack caused a lot of survivors to question the level of the security of the site and remains to this day the single biggest reason for the no names, no ages, no real locations policy!)

Wolf Princess managed to fight off her attackers but was trapped mid-transformation, half-human, half-wolf. Very embarrassing. Her sister hid her until she could figure out how to get out of the silver collar.

Desperate Wolf Princess tried everything to get it off, right down to the tried-and-true throw-yourself-against-the-wall maneuver.

Nothing worked. Finally another survivor on the site, Goddess of Fate, a demi-god who used to grace us with her presence sometimes, gave Wolf Princess a sword of celestial bronze. Well it worked and Wolf Princess carries it to this day.

Understandably, after this early A-51 encounter, Wolf Princess changed. Her fur went all white as a result of the stress. But there were more changes to come for Wolf Princess.

Needing a holiday after her terrible transformation, she agreed to a dream-cation with the enigmatic Night Wolf, a friendly demon wolf who used to check in sometimes.

Night Wolf and Wolf Princess met in Times Square in their dreams one night – but only one of them returned. And it wasn’t Night Wolf.

In fact, Night Wolf was never heard from again. And we don’t know the full details of what happened that night. Maybe Wolf Princess will never tell us. But that night changed her even further. Now her eyes glowed red and she too was a demon wolf. What really happened that night, Wolf Princess? Will you ever tell?

Either way, the Princess brought back souvenirs for everyone so that was nice. Although you can only claim them in your dreams. (I’m still looking for mine. Last night I looked behind the balloon clown who stole my teeth. He didn’t have it.)

Anyway it turned out to be a good thing, because Wolf Princess needed every power she could muster for the next attack. A pack of creatures surrounded her house one night. They almost killed her and her family and destroyed her home. She thought it was A-51 again but later discovered it was not A-51 at all but it turned out to be a pack of hell hounds sent out by somebody unknown. Did this have anything to do with her new demon powers? We still don’t know.

Lucky thing Bebe’s aunt had a 140 bedroom home that was empty. **HINT: When somebody tells you they have a 140 bedroom home empty? Be very suspicious!  

Wolf Princess brought her family to Bebe’s aunty’s home and it turned out to be a trap. Not one laid by Bebe, but by her annoyingly dangerous warlock brother Spark. Anyway something good came out of this – Time Kitsune saved Wolf Princess’ life and a different spark was ignited between them. Wolf Princess was no longer a lone wolf.

But the partnership of TK and Wolf Princess had many ups and downs. Understandably it was difficult. Kitsune and werewolves do not normally pair up. They seemed to attract danger to each other. Maybe it was the matching collars they wore to track each other at all times, no matter where they were in the universe.

When TK was eventually killed in battle against Zanthre trying to free Wolf Princess who was being used as a weapon against Ice, Wolf Princess was devastated.

After Bebe healed Wolf Princess and told her everything, it broke her heart. Things got very sad around here for a while as Wolf Princess tried everything she could to resurrect TK, every spell she could get her hands on or that Alex could give her. Survivors might remember how a Tear Drinker visited the site several times during this time.

Not even Mr. Jaffa’s fluffy bunny spell could cheer her up. Her demon wolf side began to infect her human side and her eyes glowed red now even in human form. The other kids started to tease her and she had to lock herself into her crib to control herself:

And another thing. Some analysis by Zyboragon revealed evidence of dangerous chemical in her system. Then in her next transformation, Wolf Princess discovered wings. Which I don’t have to tell you makes her dangerously close to the WWs who hunt angels. How did it happen? A healing spell gone wrong? Or back to Night Wolf?

Meanwhile Alex was finally able to ressurect TK in Supreme Fire’s body but only long enough for Wolf Princess to say goodbye. Supreme Fire also gave her TK’s old collar, the one that used to lead them to each other.

Wolf Princess was later relieved to learn then that TK was not dead but dimension-shifted, so although sometimes they can still communicate, they can’t see each other.

Despite this, Wolf Princess has become a great survivor. She dotes on little TK and has lots of good advice for A-51 battle strategy and rage control techniques. She’s a fierce defender of other survivors and well-deserved survivor of the month!

Thanks to Wolf Princess and to everyone here who contributed to survival this month!