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Survivor of the Month

Meet Bebe – Survivor of the Month

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This survivor famously once said,

“Hey you guys. Zyboragon,The One,and Time Kitsume this is not the time to fight each other let’s just get through this you can kill each other later if we survive.”

and this one is great too:

“You feel guilty because you’re good. If your evil you would feel nothing or superior.Eating ice cream and cookies always makes me feel better.You?”

and this one:

“How did I get here? Where am I? Why am I wearing bowling shoes?”

Ten Fun Facts about this Survivor:

1. Has a potion to make platanium clothing & armor. (That’s platinum + titanium. Not to be confused with PLANTAINIUM which is made from bananas.)

2. Holidays in the Kingdom of Sleep and can sometimes bring items from there into the real world because of a deal made by one of her ancestors.

3. As Mr. Mutt learned the hard way, you should NEVER lend this survivor your favorite book.

4. Can sometimes summon Supreme Fire from a ring.

5. Can make WW Scarly go invisible for days with no ability to touch anything.

6. Is a dagger expert, always reminds you to find the original sheath because their magic works together.

7. Once had a cyborg chauffeur. That didn’t work out very well.

8. Went on a vampire cruise with a bunch of other survivors… on purpose. Needless to say, regretted it.

9. Taught us all the hard way the dangers of roses, mysterious unattended bags and…

10. Loves blood orange and er, cat blood ice cream and cupcakes. (Please don’t call the SPCA. I have enough trouble from the zombie rights activists.)

Okay enough clues. If you haven’t guessed it by now the first Survivor of the Month is: Bebe.

WHY BEBE NEEDS A VACATION…

(And why you should think twice before going on one with her!)

It would be almost impossible to summarize everything Bebe has survived in the last few months. But I will try to hit some of the highlights. Please help correct the record in the comments below if I get it wrong.

First, the key to understanding Bebe. She is first and foremost a ninth generation witch, on her mother’s side. When she’s not saving your life, she’s getting you killed. She can heal you with spells that use bronze dust, vervain and simple salt among other ingredients.

She has a crystal wand and if you give her 777 ingredients and help her to crush some gems, she can make you a nice daywalker ring. (Just beware because unlike some witches, Bebe doesn’t make them subtle. She believes you need some bling in that ring.) It’s her job to tend the foyer and the Yule Log in the Great Witches Hall.

Recall Bebe also owns a very special, hidden bookstore, one that specializes in the preservation and restoration of rare and antique books and manuscripts.

(Of course we also know this didn’t stop Bebe from getting Mr. Mutt’s rare book of survival spells destroyed. Did she really copy & destroy it to save it? And where did she hide the pieces? But that’s another story which Alex sums up here.)

So how did Bebe end up as a quasi demonic vamp witch?

Well the record shows something going very wrong with the ninth generation of her family. Maybe an ancient deal or a truce or curse of judgement between one of her ancestors and a Vampire’s council known as the GVVC? We don’t know.

What is clear, is that an over-passionate vampire named Damion came to claim Bebe’s sister Vee and then later Bebe herself as an unwilling bride.

A team of survivors helped Bebe to escape Damion’s clutches a couple of times but unfortunately her sister Vee died in the process. And Bebe herself was not unscathed. Her sister Vee managed to bite her and it wasn’t long before Bebe’s comments devolved into the first of about a million….soooo thirsty! posts.

Also, her hair turned temporarily blue, her fingernails silver and she woke up wearing bowling shoes.  Can we blame Damion for the bowling shoes? Unclear. The good news is that Damion was finally defeated.

Unfortunately, Bebe’s little brother Spark, himself a crazy maze-making sorcerer is a sworn enemy of the vampires. Spark is the kind of guy who would trade his own kids for a dragonscale suit. In fact that’s exactly what he did. He also did not appreciate his sister being a vampire and now with Damion defeated, Bebe had to worry about her brother Spark instead. Could things get any worse?

Well yes. They did. In particular recall the Zanthre incident. Survivors on the site launched an offensive against this demonic trouble maker  who can cage you forever with your own shadow. It was a massive offensive, attracting a mysterious Soul Eater named Soulgard who joined the fray just to clean up the soul mess.

Then things went wrong. In the heat of battle, Bebe ended up fighting with Soulgard for her soul even though she wasn’t even dead. Bebe made a dangerous deal for her soul. She offered to recover defeated Damion’s soul and give that to Soulgard in exchange. This lead Bebe on a dangerous journey to recover Damion’s soul, which she trapped in a crystal around her neck and returned to the battle. But the battle  against Zanthre was heating up and suddenly Bebe needed to do something else with Damion’s soul.

To save her own life and increase her strength, Bebe swallowed the crystal containing Damion’s soul. This helped defeat Zanthre, but it left Bebe with a stomachache and some very questionable demonic powers. And what will happen to her if Soulgard ever comes back to claim the soul crystal?

There are lots of other exciting incidents and battles. A cyborg chauffeur briefly turned her into Bebe Bot. (Let’s not even talk about her demon twins TK and Zyborgana, it just makes Wolf Princess upset.) And she has really bad luck with roses. Around Bebe they always turn into something bad. Think fairies that take over your home. Or worse, fire flowers that threaten to destroy everything.

But back to the title. Here’s why you should think twice about going on vacation with Bebe. Yes, I’m talking about the vampire cruise. I guess we can forgive her for embracing her vampire side. After all she didn’t exactly choose to become one. No sooner has Bebe recruited all the survivalists but disaster strikes and it turns out to be a monster trap, the boat sinking and everyone trapped. 

Questionable vacay choices aside, Bebe is a great survivor with lots of good advice and helpful to everyone including me. Who else could teach you the real dangers of unattended bags? 

You probably won’t encounter the legendary Bebe on these pages anymore, but we have reason to believe she is still surviving out there somewhere, so maybe you or I will run into her at one of many Wych’s Fairs between the worlds. (If I can ever get there before they disappear!)

Wild Moon Good Friday

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Wild Moon Good Friday

The Wild Moon is almost here, adding to the Good of Friday and all weekend.

First with apologies to zombie activists everywhere, there will be no zombie theology here this year. If the zombies want to claim Jesus as their symbol of goodness and  undeadness, who am I to argue? I think it could be very beneficial for many zombies to follow his example. Besides, as Zyboragon says, Zombies have spiritual needs too.

(Besides, have you ever tried arguing with a zombie? Not easy.)

So with apologies to the zombies, but there will be no photos of zombie JC here this weekend.

No, this weekend is all about the Wild Moon bringing with it two new Survivors of the Month.

Quick contest recap: each helpful comment or report becomes one “ticket” that goes into a “hat” app. Then we  randomly pick the next two Survivors of the Month. These survivors receive an embarrassingly small prize ($10 iTunes card). Which is all a struggling Internet Survivalista like me can afford. But then the important part, the life-saving front page summary of their epic tales of survival to date. I’m working on them right now.

So check back on the Wild Moon whenever you can to find out the new Survivors of the Month and also on Saturday afternoon to catch the time-limited sneak peak of “My Lupine Life,” by Louis Pine.

Zombies claim Easter as Undead Holiday

Meet Zyboragon: Survivor of the Month

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I happen to be formed by my own metal!

-Zyboragon 

Survivor of the Month

Other Great Zyboragon Quotes:

Fate makes us fail at things to get better. 

Screw the prophecies, I should be the one who makes my own destiny 

Well what can really be said of Zyboragon?

Ah, LOTS! So much it’s hard to know where to begin. First, Zyboragon is remarkably cheerful for an angelic cyborg metal ghost dragon who arrived here following the destruction of his home, village and family. Oh sure sometimes he might have an epic battle with another survivor, say Mr. Mutt or The Doctor or Alex but he’ll also be the first to grant you a wish if you need one.

(Remember how he wish-returned Mr. Mutt’s six-shooter and even polished it?)

(Speaking of that, hey! I just noticed that I still have a wish left!)

And sure Zyboragon has some unconventional solutions to life’s little supernatural problems. But mostly that’s Stigma’s problem. Afterall Stigma is the only survivor on the site who Zyboragon has promised to a) freeze b) perform experimental chimera-ectomy surgery c) cure with controversial herbs and spells.

Z. always means well. He’s a loyal zombie rights advocate, very in touch with his inner zombie. And a founding member of Concerned About Cannibals. He’s very concerned about them. As a human myself I appreciate that.

He’s also the resident expert on Void Chipmunks here on the site (they hate salami) and he survived the great Burrito Storm of 2011. (What caused that again????) You can always count on Zyboragon.

Did I say always? Well maybe not always. Like everyone, Zyboragon has his enemies. And his frenemies. I’m talking about Abstract the Devourer and ARC and Ravenclaw for instance. Oh and don’t forget Samuel the Leprechaun who gets annoyed by the fact Zyboragon can eavesdrop on leprechaun communications when he flies near their towers.

It all started with Abstract, who seemed to resent the fact that Z. had a wormhole key that enabled him to teleport and he was using it help people on the site. Abstract needed that key to complete a set of four that would unleash the void on the world during the time of solstice, when a rip in the fabric between the worlds was already open. 

Also, it turned out that he had a clone, named ARC who liked to talk in third person and turned against him, trying to trap him in the void forever.

All of which caused what Zyboragon aptly refers to as an EOWC or End of World Crisis that he teamed up with others on the site, including Mr. Mutt and Stigma and the Doctor to successfully avert. During their battle ARC was killed.

(A good, quick summary of this is here)

Unfortunately, something else happened in that battle and Mr. Mutt turned against Zyboragon. I’m still trying to understand that part. It has something to do with a Voidsphere that temporarily controlled Mr. Mutt. Or maybe it’s also just one of those things that happens with friends who have epic times together. Sometimes friendship gets complicated and you get locked in a battle that results in one of you being sucked into another dimension. Hey it happens to all of us at some point. Just ask Graham.

So Zyboragon was MIA for a while. Which is normal for Survivors. We all come and go, checking in when we can with Proof of Life and an exciting update or just to check in, but for Zyboragon it was going to be very long time indeed. We actually don’t know how much time passed in that other dimension, but it was long enough site time, that Zyboragon’s old enemy ARC started to miss him and actually began to plot his rescue. (It turned out that ARC had been revived, but that’s another story, involving another dragon.)

We all wished Zyboragon would come back soon because ARC was getting pretty pushy on the site, threatening people with his lazer and claiming that only Zyboragon could kill him even while he blamed all of his problems on an evil corporation. But unfortunately ARC’s first attempt was a Fail.

But finally something worked and Zyboragon came back to kick ARC’s a$$.

Zyboragon explained that he could have come back sooner but he was actually on a mission in the void, looking for somebody else The Modern Age Vengeance Bringer. He said that in Void Time he had actually just lived hundreds of years  And for the next while, it seemed like Z. went in and out of the void. (Not because he liked the chipmunks! )

(At one point he got hit by a comet and I’m afraid that may have really affected him because he started rambling about cloning Aflak ducks to create an army of undead life-insurance duck, just for the irony of it…)

Back on the site, Zyboragon helped Bebe try to recover her sister Vee from the vampire hospital where she was taken for transformation by her BF Damien. And when it couldn’t be done, he plotted with Mr. Mutt and others to locate the Pool of Eternals and help kill The Original.

Just when things seemed to be going well again, there was an un-existence bomb that went off and started to erase not just him but the memory of him in the minds of everyone on the site. Before long, Zyboragon was experiencing an non-existential crisis so deep that the only thing anyone could remember about him was his arm. That metal arm. With no thumbs…. Not even two arms. Just one arm.

Luckily Zyboragon was saved by a Time Gap that restored him but when he returned to the site, he was 300 years older now.

What followed was a sad event, I’d rather not write it but I guess I have to. Zyboragon tried to settle down and raise a family but his only dragon eggs were destroyed, taking the dream of his future son away. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

He’s more serious now and a bit quieter but he’s still keeping on. You can hear his a pre-recorded message here  if you want to know what’s been happening with lately.  He also posted a helpful warning recently about some dopplegangbangers on the site, which I really appreciated. ~~~shapeshifters!~~~

And that about brings us about up to date about Zyboragon, a great contributer and Survivor of the Month. If you watch these pages you might be lucky enough to catch him on. And if you’re nice to him and you need one, he might be persuaded to grant you a wish. If he can. If he has any left. He might get them from the Leprechauns so maybe he can get more this month, I don’t know. Did I mention how he uses cell towers to track them down?

Just don’t get him started on Void Chipmunks! Or buy him a hat.

Hail Survivors,

Please let me know if you see any errors in this story or something you want to add. Just let me know in the comments section. 

Keep on keeping on for Mr. Mutt’s profile tomorrow and more to come on the next full moon. 

Thanks and goodnight!

Seth

Announcing Survivor of the Month Prize

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SOS Survivors,

For those of you who don’t know, SOS and The Monstrometer game is a project maintained for free by me and sometimes my friend Graham and a whole lot of helpful volunteers like you who pitch in whenever you can with true stories and advice and sometimes even to help make another set of videos  like the 13 werewolf videos coming soon-ish, The Lupine Life of Louis Pine.

So in honor of all of you and your awesome stories and helpful tips to me and each another, I am finally implementing a suggestion that came from the Cyborg p5t5r and the gone-but-never-forgotten werewolf Ashpaw, among others. Finally A Survivor of the Month prize and front-page profile.

New Survivor of the Month Prize and Profile

It goes like this. On every full moon, one of the helpyest survivor of that month will receive a little prize in their email – a ten dollars (US) iTunes gift card number that you can redeem at the iTunes store in your country, AND I will try to summarize your story as accurately as I can on the front page to cut through some of the confusion that results from the fact that Graham is so lazy he is still working on your changes to the site.

It’s just a little prize but I only make 12.00/hr at Pizza del Muerto and besides it will come with a lot of big thanks for helping us all survive in 2012. I’ve asked Scarly to help pick the Survivor of the Month because she already got a prize on One Million day so she’s not eligible. Maybe Graham will help her pick.

If there are too many we may have to draw names. If so, I’ll do the draw like this. For each helpful comment or story you contributed that month, I’ll put your name into the “hat” once (actually it’s my iPhone App but you get the idea). That way the odds of the most helpful person winning increases and you get more chances to win the more often you comment.

Anyway, it’ll be hard to pick just one because there are so many but hopefully over time we’ll be able to get all of you with a little thank you. You may not realize this, but part of the reason this site doesn’t change the way it functions very much very fast is because nobody wants to lose any of the vital survival info written here by you and so Graham is always trying to find a way to make the changes without losing anything. But since there’s always new stuff, he’s always behind.

So thanks for keeping on keeping on whenever you can and look for the first Survivor of the Month on the Wind Moon in March!

I just hope it’s not a leprechaun…

Seth