Zyboragon Four Day Forecast – Cloudy With a Chance of Superplasminium Clouds
Supernatural weather alert for the week of January 13 to 20, for those who missed it, Supernatural Meteorologist and Big Metal Dragon Dude Zyboragon is detecting higher than normal levels of superplasminium ether in Earth’s atmosphere, resulting in unpredictable and highly toxic superplasminium clouds.
Dragons, witches, angels and other flying phenoms are being advised to check for updates in their area before embarking on any high-flying adventures.
According to Zyboragon, Superplasminium Ether is highly toxic and can lead to a hint of grey scale syndrome. When inhaled via the respiratory systems it will affect the nervous system in three seconds flat.
How can you protect yourself from these particles and still make it home by sunrise? And how did this happen in the first place? Is anyone immune?
Until we can locate and stem the source of this Superplasminium, survivors are being advised to protect their skin, scales or fur and to avoid flying in hotter climes ie: above 70 degrees Fahreinheit. If you have the ability to travel below ground or through water, this may be a good time to deploy it.
However if you must fly, remember to fly cross wind and only take shallow breaths. Also remember Superplasminium clouds tend to congregate toward bigger objects, so avoid traveling in group formation and over major cities. According to Z, this is the key. Remain random and stay unique!
Until then, thanks to Zyboragon for collecting and sharing his meteorological data with survivors and let me be the first to say, I knew you weren’t the kind of draconian to just slink away to your cave full of treasure at the end of your year to spend the rest of your life burning villages between naps. Okay yes I may feared that, just a little. And yes maybe I did strongly IMPLY that here on the site. But that was only because of that useless treasure map you left me.
(The map was a joke, right? Did you know that it ends in a janitor’s closet beneath The Shard? How exactly am I supposed to get near that?)
Anyway, I might have known Z would be up to some good where ever he went. It’s reassuring to see that him putting his supernatural meteorological diploma to good use. Who better to report on weather conditions than a dragon?