News from New Zealand this week. A supergiant shrimp-like creature emerged from the deepest part of the ocean for the first time ever, apparently on a mission to study the human honker. I caught up with him at the University of Aberdeen.
“YO NEVER CALL ME A F#$ING SHRIMP,” he yelled at me. “I’M A F#ING SUPERGIANT. DIDN’T YOU GET THE PRESS RELEASE?”
This nosy amphipod is one of five or six supergiants who hitched a ride on a camera rig intended to photograph deep sea snail fish for a team of researchers.
“SNAIL FISH – BEH! WHAT GOOD ARE THEY? THEY’RE NOT EVEN SUPER OR GIANT LIKE ME!”
Dr. Alan Jamieson’s initial surprise at discovering the supergiant hitchhikers, was quickly moderated by the generally crusty attitude of his new friend, which quickly began to wear on the team.
“It’s a bit like finding a foot-long cockroach,” he stated shortly before losing the end of his nose in the shrimpy supergiant’s mandible.
“YA WE SEE WHO’S THE MF%^&ING COCKROACH NOW YOU GOT NO NOSE ON YOUR FACE WHO THE SHRIMP NOW B###CH!”