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Survivor of the Month: Wolf Princess

May 6, 2012 By Seth

Here’s the first clue to the Survivor of the Month for the Dragon Moon, 2012:

Do you recognize this Survivor of the Month?

1. Είμαι με κανένα τρόπο αυτοκτονίας, αλλά να κάνω έντονα την επιθυμία να είναι με την αγάπη μου και πάλι.

2. Is a vegetarian who loves meat ice cream.

3. Has braces in human form but transforms regularly with no additional pain or difficulty

4. A rare, 100% werewolf turned white demon wolf with red eyes:

By now you’ve probably guessed, this Survivor of the Month is Wolf Princess!

The Harrowing Tale (And Red Eyes & White Fur & Braces) Of a Wolf Princess:

Wolf Princess is a rare, 100% werewolf of suspected genetic origin. She first came here with a simple question, should I join a pack? Or remain a lone wolf?

Wolf Princess revealed that she had been spending her moons alone in the yard. For safety, she instructed her sister to lock her out of the house. Then she roamed the neighborhood trying to avoid contact with others, particularly humans with cameras. But it wasn’t working. Somebody eventually snapped a photo. She found it on the Internet and the other survivors had to talk her out of taking revenge on the photographer.

Shortly after this, Wolf Princess built her own secret crib so she could avoid these situations.

Unfortunately, before she could even use this new crib for the first time, there was a rash of A-51 attacks on the site that caught a lot of survivors, including Wolf Princess. She was caught mid-transformation and collared with a silver collar.

(This attack caused a lot of survivors to question the level of the security of the site and remains to this day the single biggest reason for the no names, no ages, no real locations policy!)

Wolf Princess managed to fight off her attackers but was trapped mid-transformation, half-human, half-wolf. Very embarrassing. Her sister hid her until she could figure out how to get out of the silver collar.

Desperate Wolf Princess tried everything to get it off, right down to the tried-and-true throw-yourself-against-the-wall maneuver.

Nothing worked. Finally another survivor on the site, Goddess of Fate, a demi-god who used to grace us with her presence sometimes, gave Wolf Princess a sword of celestial bronze. Well it worked and Wolf Princess carries it to this day.

Understandably, after this early A-51 encounter, Wolf Princess changed. Her fur went all white as a result of the stress. But there were more changes to come for Wolf Princess.

Needing a holiday after her terrible transformation, she agreed to a dream-cation with the enigmatic Night Wolf, a friendly demon wolf who used to check in sometimes.

Night Wolf and Wolf Princess met in Times Square in their dreams one night – but only one of them returned. And it wasn’t Night Wolf.

In fact, Night Wolf was never heard from again. And we don’t know the full details of what happened that night. Maybe Wolf Princess will never tell us. But that night changed her even further. Now her eyes glowed red and she too was a demon wolf. What really happened that night, Wolf Princess? Will you ever tell?

Either way, the Princess brought back souvenirs for everyone so that was nice. Although you can only claim them in your dreams. (I’m still looking for mine. Last night I looked behind the balloon clown who stole my teeth. He didn’t have it.)

Anyway it turned out to be a good thing, because Wolf Princess needed every power she could muster for the next attack. A pack of creatures surrounded her house one night. They almost killed her and her family and destroyed her home. She thought it was A-51 again but later discovered it was not A-51 at all but it turned out to be a pack of hell hounds sent out by somebody unknown. Did this have anything to do with her new demon powers? We still don’t know.

Lucky thing Bebe’s aunt had a 140 bedroom home that was empty. **HINT: When somebody tells you they have a 140 bedroom home empty? Be very suspicious!  

Wolf Princess brought her family to Bebe’s aunty’s home and it turned out to be a trap. Not one laid by Bebe, but by her annoyingly dangerous warlock brother Spark. Anyway something good came out of this – Time Kitsune saved Wolf Princess’ life and a different spark was ignited between them. Wolf Princess was no longer a lone wolf.

But the partnership of TK and Wolf Princess had many ups and downs. Understandably it was difficult. Kitsune and werewolves do not normally pair up. They seemed to attract danger to each other. Maybe it was the matching collars they wore to track each other at all times, no matter where they were in the universe.

When TK was eventually killed in battle against Zanthre trying to free Wolf Princess who was being used as a weapon against Ice, Wolf Princess was devastated.

After Bebe healed Wolf Princess and told her everything, it broke her heart. Things got very sad around here for a while as Wolf Princess tried everything she could to resurrect TK, every spell she could get her hands on or that Alex could give her. Survivors might remember how a Tear Drinker visited the site several times during this time.

Not even Mr. Jaffa’s fluffy bunny spell could cheer her up. Her demon wolf side began to infect her human side and her eyes glowed red now even in human form. The other kids started to tease her and she had to lock herself into her crib to control herself:

And another thing. Some analysis by Zyboragon revealed evidence of dangerous chemical in her system. Then in her next transformation, Wolf Princess discovered wings. Which I don’t have to tell you makes her dangerously close to the WWs who hunt angels. How did it happen? A healing spell gone wrong? Or back to Night Wolf?

Meanwhile Alex was finally able to ressurect TK in Supreme Fire’s body but only long enough for Wolf Princess to say goodbye. Supreme Fire also gave her TK’s old collar, the one that used to lead them to each other.

Wolf Princess was later relieved to learn then that TK was not dead but dimension-shifted, so although sometimes they can still communicate, they can’t see each other.

Despite this, Wolf Princess has become a great survivor. She dotes on little TK and has lots of good advice for A-51 battle strategy and rage control techniques. She’s a fierce defender of other survivors and well-deserved survivor of the month!

Thanks to Wolf Princess and to everyone here who contributed to survival this month!

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: A-51, Dragon Moon, dreamcation, Goddess of Fate, lone wolf, Night Wolf, seth on survival, SOS, Super Moon, Survivor of the Month, werewolf, wolf pack, Wolf Princess

Meet Bebe – Survivor of the Month

April 5, 2012 By Seth

This survivor famously once said,

“Hey you guys. Zyboragon,The One,and Time Kitsume this is not the time to fight each other let’s just get through this you can kill each other later if we survive.”

and this one is great too:

“You feel guilty because you’re good. If your evil you would feel nothing or superior.Eating ice cream and cookies always makes me feel better.You?”

and this one:

“How did I get here? Where am I? Why am I wearing bowling shoes?”

Ten Fun Facts about this Survivor:

1. Has a potion to make platanium clothing & armor. (That’s platinum + titanium. Not to be confused with PLANTAINIUM which is made from bananas.)

2. Holidays in the Kingdom of Sleep and can sometimes bring items from there into the real world because of a deal made by one of her ancestors.

3. As Mr. Mutt learned the hard way, you should NEVER lend this survivor your favorite book.

4. Can sometimes summon Supreme Fire from a ring.

5. Can make WW Scarly go invisible for days with no ability to touch anything.

6. Is a dagger expert, always reminds you to find the original sheath because their magic works together.

7. Once had a cyborg chauffeur. That didn’t work out very well.

8. Went on a vampire cruise with a bunch of other survivors… on purpose. Needless to say, regretted it.

9. Taught us all the hard way the dangers of roses, mysterious unattended bags and…

10. Loves blood orange and er, cat blood ice cream and cupcakes. (Please don’t call the SPCA. I have enough trouble from the zombie rights activists.)

Okay enough clues. If you haven’t guessed it by now the first Survivor of the Month is: Bebe.

WHY BEBE NEEDS A VACATION…

(And why you should think twice before going on one with her!)

It would be almost impossible to summarize everything Bebe has survived in the last few months. But I will try to hit some of the highlights. Please help correct the record in the comments below if I get it wrong.

First, the key to understanding Bebe. She is first and foremost a ninth generation witch, on her mother’s side. When she’s not saving your life, she’s getting you killed. She can heal you with spells that use bronze dust, vervain and simple salt among other ingredients.

She has a crystal wand and if you give her 777 ingredients and help her to crush some gems, she can make you a nice daywalker ring. (Just beware because unlike some witches, Bebe doesn’t make them subtle. She believes you need some bling in that ring.) It’s her job to tend the foyer and the Yule Log in the Great Witches Hall.

Recall Bebe also owns a very special, hidden bookstore, one that specializes in the preservation and restoration of rare and antique books and manuscripts.

(Of course we also know this didn’t stop Bebe from getting Mr. Mutt’s rare book of survival spells destroyed. Did she really copy & destroy it to save it? And where did she hide the pieces? But that’s another story which Alex sums up here.)

So how did Bebe end up as a quasi demonic vamp witch?

Well the record shows something going very wrong with the ninth generation of her family. Maybe an ancient deal or a truce or curse of judgement between one of her ancestors and a Vampire’s council known as the GVVC? We don’t know.

What is clear, is that an over-passionate vampire named Damion came to claim Bebe’s sister Vee and then later Bebe herself as an unwilling bride.

A team of survivors helped Bebe to escape Damion’s clutches a couple of times but unfortunately her sister Vee died in the process. And Bebe herself was not unscathed. Her sister Vee managed to bite her and it wasn’t long before Bebe’s comments devolved into the first of about a million….soooo thirsty! posts.

Also, her hair turned temporarily blue, her fingernails silver and she woke up wearing bowling shoes.  Can we blame Damion for the bowling shoes? Unclear. The good news is that Damion was finally defeated.

Unfortunately, Bebe’s little brother Spark, himself a crazy maze-making sorcerer is a sworn enemy of the vampires. Spark is the kind of guy who would trade his own kids for a dragonscale suit. In fact that’s exactly what he did. He also did not appreciate his sister being a vampire and now with Damion defeated, Bebe had to worry about her brother Spark instead. Could things get any worse?

Well yes. They did. In particular recall the Zanthre incident. Survivors on the site launched an offensive against this demonic trouble maker  who can cage you forever with your own shadow. It was a massive offensive, attracting a mysterious Soul Eater named Soulgard who joined the fray just to clean up the soul mess.

Then things went wrong. In the heat of battle, Bebe ended up fighting with Soulgard for her soul even though she wasn’t even dead. Bebe made a dangerous deal for her soul. She offered to recover defeated Damion’s soul and give that to Soulgard in exchange. This lead Bebe on a dangerous journey to recover Damion’s soul, which she trapped in a crystal around her neck and returned to the battle. But the battle  against Zanthre was heating up and suddenly Bebe needed to do something else with Damion’s soul.

To save her own life and increase her strength, Bebe swallowed the crystal containing Damion’s soul. This helped defeat Zanthre, but it left Bebe with a stomachache and some very questionable demonic powers. And what will happen to her if Soulgard ever comes back to claim the soul crystal?

There are lots of other exciting incidents and battles. A cyborg chauffeur briefly turned her into Bebe Bot. (Let’s not even talk about her demon twins TK and Zyborgana, it just makes Wolf Princess upset.) And she has really bad luck with roses. Around Bebe they always turn into something bad. Think fairies that take over your home. Or worse, fire flowers that threaten to destroy everything.

But back to the title. Here’s why you should think twice about going on vacation with Bebe. Yes, I’m talking about the vampire cruise. I guess we can forgive her for embracing her vampire side. After all she didn’t exactly choose to become one. No sooner has Bebe recruited all the survivalists but disaster strikes and it turns out to be a monster trap, the boat sinking and everyone trapped. 

Questionable vacay choices aside, Bebe is a great survivor with lots of good advice and helpful to everyone including me. Who else could teach you the real dangers of unattended bags? 

You probably won’t encounter the legendary Bebe on these pages anymore, but we have reason to believe she is still surviving out there somewhere, so maybe you or I will run into her at one of many Wych’s Fairs between the worlds. (If I can ever get there before they disappear!)

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: bebe, seth on survival, SOS, survivor, Survivor of the Month, survivors, Vampires, Witches

Zombie Month Videos

March 4, 2012 By Seth 4 Comments

Hail Survivors,

Zombies are a significant threat to survival and so you need the best information possible to keep on keeping yourself un-undead. So below I present to you a valuable zombie survival tool, the Seth On Survival Zombie Month episodes. Each episode is only about 4 minutes long but is packed with valuable zombie survival information so do yourself a favour and have a look.

Seth

Episode 1 – Zombiology 101.3

Episode 2 – Zombie Autopsy

Episode 3 – Zombie Quarantine

Episode 4 – The Great Zombie Debate

Episode 5 – Zombie Battle

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Filed Under: Survival Videos Tagged With: Humans, Monstrometer, seth on survival, survivors, zombie month, Zombies

New Video – Interview with Suspected Werewolf

February 28, 2012 By Seth 8 Comments

Hail Survivors,

As many of you know, I recently went on location to interview a suspected genetic werewolf in his werewolf containment facility or crib.

Like many suspected werewolves, Louis Pine was puzzled about his lycanthropy status after failing to transform under the full moon. He wrote into SOS asking for advice and many of you responded with helpy werewolf hints and tips.

So when he invited me to help him document his lupine life, what could I say? He even had his own camera. I could not refuse. I set my GPS and hit the road.

I travelled to meet Louis this summer in his crib and well  *SPOILER ALERT*  I survive. I can’t say the same for anyone else.

Also if anyone knows the current WERE-abouts of the survivor known as “Louis,” please contact the site ASAP. He’s been MIA for several months now and lots of people are really worried about him.

Graham is helping me finish Louis’ videos to show on the site. I expect to be posting them in the next few weeks. Until then here’s part of my interview with Louis Pine, suspected werewolf:

Thanks for keeping on keeping on with me.

Seth

P.S. More videos coming soon. Ish.

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Filed Under: Survival Videos Tagged With: Angels, cribs, Cyborgs, Humans, Illuminati, Loch Ness Monster, Louis, Louis Pine, Monstrometer, seth on survival, survivor, survivors, Vampires, werewolf, werewolf containment faciity, Werewolves, Witches

Zombie Valentine News

February 14, 2012 By Seth 5 Comments

For anyone who missed the big Valentine’s Day announcement from Zyboragon, there’s an explanation for the mysterious zombie valentine posted to the site yesterday (below).

And it’s good news for all you non-cannibals. Zombies have taken V-day to re-respect a 1987 decision to restrict feeding habits to cannibals. Check it out!

20120214-185948.jpg

Apologies to any cannibals out there. However you should be aware, as a cannibal you are in fact at risk of spontaneously developing ZSE anyway and turning zombie at some point regardless. Any further questions or concerns, please feel free to give Ted Turner a call OR join the protest outside Zyboragon’s house…

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: Cannibals, council of zombies, non-cannibals, seth on survival, Ted Turner, zombie council, zombie council of 1987, zombie valentine, Zombies, Zyboragon

Un-undead Singing Idol Kidnapped by Zombies?

February 9, 2012 By Seth 3 Comments

This man man claiming to be a famous Zulu singer returned from the dead this week, says he survived a terrible two-year kidnapping by zombies after a witch placed a spell on him.

Dead singing sensation claims he was kidnapped by zombies.
Man claiming to be Zulu singing sensation “Mgqumeni” returns from a two year kidnapping ordeal

But only two of his three wives and girlfriends agree and authorities intend to charge him with fraud.

This week the man appeared claiming to be Khulekani “Mgqumeni” Khumalo, an award-winning Zulu folk musician who died in 2009. His story caused riots at the singer’s former home after fans of the singer heard the man’s story about a witch doctor who marked him with a spell, causing him to be kidnapped by a herd of roving zombies.

Using a loudspeaker, he explained  that zombies kept him alive in a cave for two years until he finally managed to escape with all his brains –  but none of his trademark dreadlocks.

(Presumably the zombies shaved his head in preparation for his eventual de-braining – not an uncommon practice among civilized zombies who prefer to prepare their meals in this manner.)

The un-undead singer was greeted warmly by two of his former wives, who believed his story and took him back. But his third wife was very skeptical.

“What? Two other wives? I don’t care who he is, send him back to the zombies!”

She called the police who are considering fraud charges.

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: khulekani Khumalo, kidnapped by zombies, Mgqumeni, seth on survival, SOS, Witches, zombie kidnapping, Zombies

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I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

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