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What’s New in Monstrometer 3.1

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Hail Survivors!

I know it has been a long time since I have posted and even longer since the Monstrometer was last updated. Both of those issues are about to be corrected and my long absence will soon be explained.

A new version of the Monstrometer is on the way in just a few short days.

Below behold the change log for Monstrometer 3.1:

  • Surprise major new announcements from SOS!
  • 64-bit code base to make scanning your friends (and frenemies!) even faster!
  • Now compatible with iOS 11 and all the new iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch models (even the iPhone X!)
    (minimum version of iOS is now 9 but if you have an older device you can still download previous versions)
  • Optimized for iPhone X and both 4.7″ and 5.5″ iPhones and the iPad Pro (all sizes).
  • Improved video playback!
  • Fixed a bug on iPad where scrolling to the end of the Lupine Life videos list was impossible.

Thank you for your patience and thank you keeping on keeping on.

More announcements coming soon! Below is a little sneak peek!

Survival yours,

Seth

The True Werewolf History of Valentine’s Day

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Well it’s V-Day again! This year, take a moment out from your annual anti-stalker preparations to recall the ancient werewolf roots of Valentine’s Day – but no more than a moment! That would be highly inadvisable. It’s called Lupercalia and it may not be romantic but it’s 99.99% true, like everything else on this site.

Centuries before Emperor Claudius condemned poor St. Valentine to a terrible teddy bear and chocolate death for the then-crime of marrying heterosexual couples, there were twin boys named Romulus and Remus in Rome. Like many twins, Romulus and Remus created quite a bit of chaos by their birth. Even more so because these twins were the children of demi-gods. Their dad was Mars, the god of war and their mom a forest diety named Rhea Silva.

Twin boys raised by a werewolf founded Rome
Romulus and Remus saved by a werewolf on this day.

As a result, these powerful babies Romulus and Remus scared the emperor. He ordered them  abandoned in the woods and left to die in the middle of winter. He also locked their mom Rhea Silva in a convent.

But the emperor didn’t know that Rhea Silva, whose name means “forest spirit” could still communicate with the animals in the forest. She made a deal with a powerful she-wolf named Lupa that if Lupa would adopt her sons and give them milk to save their lives, that she would share them with Lupa on every full moon.

Lupa agreed to the deal and found Romulus and Remus deep in the woods, roughly on this day in February. She fed them her own milk and this caused the physiological changes that would save their lives and turn them into werewolves on the full moon. So that when they became adults, on every full moon the twins would turn into werewolves and always return to her in the forest.

So how does this lead to Valentine’s Day?

Well when Romulus and Remus grew up they used their powers to found the city of Rome and every year in February, Rome held a celebration in honor of their wolf mom, Lupa. Hence the Roman statue of Lupa feeding her wolf-milk to Romulus and Remus above. This celebration was called “Lupercalia,” after Lupa herself.

On Lupercalia the citizens of Rome would party by making chocolate wolf-milk and stuffed wolf toys and trying to get a date. Except for the werewolves of course, who would transform even if it wasn’t a full moon and retreat deep into the forest together for their own secret Lupercalia celebration, about which little is known.

It may not the most romantic story but it’s 99.98% true.

(Minus the one little missing part where Romulus kills his own brother Remus in a fit of were-rage over where to put the city of Rome. Were-rage. Big problem for the lupine kind. Read more about were-rage here on the werewolves page.)

Seth

Frost Moon Survivor of the Month

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Who will it be?

The Frost Moon is rising to its fullest and frostiest and werewolves everywhere are curling up in their cribs, or roaming free – hopefully NOT in search of angels. Yes, I know this is also technically speaking the Moon of Angels but is that any reason to go looking for a fight?

Why not stop here at SOS instead? I’ll be posting clues about the Survivor of the Month. And this month we will also be inducting one member to the SOS Hall of Fame. One long overdue member.

Enough said here are the first clues. I’ll add some details to them throughout the night. Answers and prizes posted tomorrow….

Frost Moon Survivor of the Month Clues:

1. This Survivor hates wet fur.

2. This Survivor runs with a group of coyote shape shifters.

3. This Survivor is member of a very interesting Zombie Apocalypse Survival team.

4. This Survivor lives in a very dangerous situation. Members of her friend’s family could be A-51 agents.

Guessed it? That’s right it’s:

Moon Song

A small Survivor of the Month iTunes thank you is on the way to Moon Song. Or it will be as soon as I send it! Thanks to everyone who contributed to Survival this month. You keep me keeping on. It may not always look like it, but Graham and I and other survivors all over the globe are always thinking of epic new things we can do with your valuable research and epic tales of survival, so please keep on keeping on. (Seriously. We get dozens of emails every week about it.)

Also, I promised a Hall of Famer this month. Hall of Fame members are not quasi-random like Survivor of the Month. Hall of Famers are beings who have contributed to the survival of countless others here at SOS, including mine. I rely on these Hall of Famers for warnings and reliable research along with general help and goodwill toward other survivors on the site. Like all of us, they come and go on important and sometimes secret survival missions but always seem to keep in touch one way or another. So without further ado, this month one more survivor will be inducted into the SOS Hall of Fame. You will no doubt, recognize him, he’s often the first to greet a new survivor on the site, maybe because of his wings. Yes, that’s right it’s:

Zyboragon

 

Thanks to everyone who contributed to survival this moon. Without you there would be no survival. Please check back for the true account of Moon Song and the Hall of Fame story of Zyboragon – coming up as soon as I send their prizes. Don’t forget to check out some frosty full moon poetry  by Ashpaw if you haven’t already. Or check out the werewolves at yourlupinelife who posted the true story of the Frost Moon along with the epic tale of Louis Pine. (I’m pining for more! When is there more???)

More later! Thanks for keeping on keeping on with SOS.

Remember Captain Mantell, First UFO Chaser

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(SOS/WTF/ASAP) An important survival reminder this week from the example of flying ace and UFO chaser Captain Thomas F. Mantell. UFOs may look pretty cool but they are dangerous and should not be chased.

Captain Mantell UFO Chaser

Captain Mantell should know. He died chasing a UFO. Those who remember the captain kept his memory alive this week reminding others of his cautionary tale on TV.

The story goes like this. Thomas Mantell is a member of the Kentucky Air National Guard on January 7, 1948. A WWII flying ace. He is flying over Kentucky with three other Guard planes one afternoon when reports of an unidentified flying object come over the radio. A mysterious, metallic flying craft described as  extremely large, round and white in color with a red light toward it’s bottom.

(Remember, this incident happened mere months after the famous Roswell incidents when two UFOs allegedly crashed or were shot down, depending on whose version of events you believe.)

Captain Mantell spots the strange craft and initiates pursuit. The UFO responds by climbing up up, higher and higher into the air. And then it seems to slow down as if to let the captain catch up.

The captain continues to chase the UFO for 45 full minutes. “The object is directly ahead of and above me now, moving at about half my speed … I’m still climbing… trying to close in for a better look.”

These are Captain Mantell’s historic last words, uttered over the radio of his F-51 at 30,000 feet. Moments later he crashes to his death, still strapped into his seat.

Captain Mantell shot down by an alien

What causes the crash? The debate rages on. Lack of oxygen, some say. He passed out.

Others maintain that an alien pilot toyed with the captain, leading him on a high altitude chase before shooting him down, perhaps avenging his lost colleague shot down in the desert by humans.

However he died, the lesson is clear to everyone still working hard to keep the memory of Captain Montell alive. The UFO Survivors Society of Kentucky is asking survivors to honor the captain’s memory by not chasing any UFOs this week.

No matter how many M & Ms you have in your pocket. No matter how curious you are or how shiny awesome their technology appears, think of Captain Thomas Montell and just don’t do it.

This Week In Survival

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French revolutionaries had very long weeks: 10 days.

(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Introducing the first of an ongoing series, in which I congratulate survivors on another week of supernatural survival and try my best to recap the epic events taking place on our pages, who is surviving and how and why.

So without further ado, if you did in fact succeed in surviving this week Sept. 17, 2012 – congratulations! Keep on keeping on. It was a loooong week. Not quite as long as a vampire week, but at least as long as a French Revolutionary week pictured in this calendar.

(220 years ago today, French Revolutionary survivors officially declared that weeks would henceforth be 10 days long instead of just 7.)

Meanwhile, what’s happening around here? Look below for summaries and links:

1. A big week for witches, who survived equinox or Mabon celebrations this week. Did anyone bake and eat a god this weekend? Ask Bebe here.

2.  This week Pauzzis, a long surviving vampire who succeeded in turning half-mermaid with a full-moon spell last summer and survived the Hunger Games, stopped by to say HI and show us her strange new locket. Read about Pauzzis’ survival here.

3. An enigmatic new survivor named Evranth who is a (no laughing please) vampiric were-turtle *I SAID NO LAUGHING*  (Do you really want to enrage a vampiric were-turtle?) Anyway, Evranth, not content to be both vampire and turtle, now seeks to become draconian. Zyboragon has been helping him survive. Want to help Zyboragon advise Evranth? Click here. (Quietly please. Don’t wake our draconian friend You-know-who.)

(If you don’t know who, better for you. You don’t want to know who.)

4. Baxter the blue collar robot was introduced to the world this week. He costs less than a student load and he’s looking for work on an assembly near you. Got a job for Baxter? Check it out. He brings donuts everyday.

5. An SOS distress call from a new survivor. Lucas the Werelord appears to be facing a werewolf hunter and The Doctor is trying to help him. Got anything you can add? Check it out here.

6. Finally, a warning to all survivors about a certain vampiric being name Nero, who appears to have a form that involves a tail and a blood-hungry friend, is lurking around here and here. To be fair, he does appear to be looking into blood subsitutes but well, judge for yourself.

And that’s about it for this week. If I’ve missed anything please add to the comments below and I will add it.

Coming up? The Singing Moon Surivivor of the month. Now this one will be the ultimate test to see if my app is bugged by a helpy A.I. or not. Will the winner be a singer this month?

Keep on keeping on to find out!

 

My Lupine Life by Louis Pine

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Lest your face be turning blue holding your breath – or even if it isn’t – they’re finally here! All 13 episodes of “My Lupine Life” By Louis Pine, proving yet again that once in a blue moon Graham and I can actually get our act together. Sort of.

Quick re-cap for those of you who missed it. Last summer, a survivor and suspected lycanthrope named Louis Pine contacted SOS for supernatural help and advice. Many of you pitched in and then I took to the road to meet him, the longest pizza delivery in history. These videos are the result…

“My Lupine Life” By Louis Pine

My name is Louis Pine and I think I’m a genetic werewolf on my dad’s side. Unfortunately nobody believes me. That’s why I made these videos, to prove it.

Play all 13 episodes in order! (this Playlist only works on a Mac or PC. If you have an iPad, iPod Touch or iPhone then please watch individual episodes below)

Episode 01 – Crib Notes:
After a hard day of lycanthropy testing, Mauricio and I go check out an old werewolf crib in the woods.

Episode 02 – Were’s Mauricio?:
Looks like I’m not the only lycanthrope here. All I’m saying is Mauricio should not have wandered off alone.

Episode 03 – Werewolf Intervention:
It’s an old fashioned werewolf intervention, complete with colloidal silver (I made it myself) and sterile bandages. Unfortunately my neighbor Sydney wants to help.

Episode 04 – The First 48:
Acquired or bitten lycanthropy can be cured in the first 48 hours post-bite, any genetic lycanthrope knows that. Now if I can just convince Mauricio before it’s too late.

Episode 05 – Stage Two:
Great. Mauricio’s still mad at me even though I cured him and now Sydney wants to be my keeper. What next? Oh yeah, the full moon is coming…

Episode 06 – Cribbing:
Full moon fever, Part I.

Episode 07 – Keep On Keeping On:
Hey! It’s that guy from the Internet, Seth On Survival. Turns out he was reading my messages too.**

**Uh yeah Louis, think the email seth@sethonsurvival might have been a clue?

Episode 08 – Were Dad?
My mom is pretty mad at me for staying out all night.

Episode 09 – Uncle Lincoln
My mom called in my dad’s identical twin brother Uncle Lincoln to straighten me out. Yeesh. What is that thing he gave me????

Episode 10 – The Cure
Well it’s official. The results are in and I am cured.

Episode 11 – Dragon Moon Part I
Did I tell you there’s no such thing as a Dragon Moon? See for yourself.

Episode 12 – Dragon Moon Part II
AAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfgggggghhhhhfffff. Nuff said.

Episode 13 – Dragon Moon Part III
Is that really me? And what happened to Sydney?

That’s all the videos that I’ve got right now. Thanks to Louis for contacting survival with his story and for sharing the result.

And big thanks to everyone here who just keeps on creeping on with SOS, offering your help and advice and your awesome stories. You make survival possible. Thank you.

Seth