Survivors before you click on that cute little Google Doodle spaceship today, take a minute to recall the sombre incidents in Roswell, New Mexico this little UFO game represents and ask yourself if it’s worth taking the risk to experience 30 seconds of animated space-craft piloting fun.
Remember Richard French? The former US Air Force Colonel who retired from a lifelong career of debunking UFOs with the intent of spending his old age bragging about how he helped bring down not one but two UFOs on this day in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947.
Remember how mad this made the aliens when he became an overnight Internet celeb last year on this date?
I certainly do:
As if you Earthlings could take down any of our craft using your 1947 technology, they said.
As if any advanced alien species anywhere would let themselves or their ships be taken captive that easily, they said.
The only true part about Colonel French’s report is the part where we all apparently write in Arabic, they said. We really do that. Mainly just to be funny. But also because we know how much it bugs you.
In fact, at the time, I feared that Colonel French may have been working with economist Paul Krugman to start an intergalactic war to end the global recession.
Thankfully, I worked with the Olympics committee to appease the aliens with free tickets and front row seats to the summer games and intergalactic war was averted. And the recession still reigns supreme so woOt. You’re welcome.
But today think about this before you plan your cute little Roswell party. What happened to Colonel French?
Well nobody knows exactly who got to him or how, but got to him they did. No he’s not dead exactly, or not yet anyway, but the 83 year-old Colonel has noticeably changed his tune. He is no longer bragging about bagging a pair of aliens in his youth. No, these days all he talks about is about how he witnessed two aliens skillfully repair their ship underwater off the coast of Newfoundland, Canada in under 20 minutes before making a clean getaway, in front of a cheering crowd.
See him here, reading the testimony the aliens prepared for him, testimony that debunks his earlier debunking of his life work as a debunker!
“And they looked the way aliens have been depicted in motion pictures,” is how he finishes his testimony these days to the Citizen Hearing On Disclosure Panel.
The lesson here Survivors, as I see it, is don’t make fun of alien, unless you want them to hijack your brain and turn you into their head cheerleader.
Crap. Did I really type that? How did they find me….?