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New British Prince Vampire Like Grandpa or Werewolf?

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Born on the full moon, at the height of the Dog Days, the new British prince has tongues and tails wagging but is he really just another vampire descendant like his grandfather Prince Charles, or is he actually a werewolf?

Prince Vampire or Werewolf

The baby’s grandpa, Prince Charles openly admitted to the world just last year that he is in fact a descendant of one of the very first vampires, the notorious Vlad the Impaler of Transylvania, whose bloody legacy inspired the Dracula story.

“Transylvania is in my blood,” Prince Charles admitted in a television interview in November 2012. “The genealogy shows I am descended from Vlad the Impaler.”

Which means of course, that his new grandson, the little Prince George Alexander Louis also has vampire blood running through his veins.

Add to this a statement made by self-hating Russian vampire politician also named Vladimir himself, who recently warned the world that this new prince would grow up to be a vampire. “This new royal baby is another blood-sucking British monarch whose birth should not be celebrated,” he said.

All very compelling evidence the new prince is indeed a vampire, just like old grandpa Charles. Or is he?

Vlad the ImpalerNot so fast. If the baby is just another vampire like his grandpire, why did he refuse to come out until the full moon?  Vampires are famously very often born on the crescent moon, not the full moon and certainly not on this full moon, the Dog Days Moon, the Mutt Moon, the Ghost Moon? With all that ghostly moonlight and all those new werewolves running around, it’s just not safe for a baby vampire.

But what other evidence do we have the first prince is a werewolf and not a vampire?

Well, consider his name: Prince George Alexander Louis. The first thing you will notice is no Vlad on the list of names here. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not.

On to the name George. Pundits note the name George appears to refer to Queen Elizabeth’s father, George VI but it’s impossible to ignore its relationship to another George, the George who started it all, St. George, who became famous for, among other things like balancing a spoon on his nose, slaying a dragon! To be clear, St. George is normally depicted slaying dragons on a white horse, with a glowing halo above his head, making him appear more angel than werewolf but werewolves too were known to take down dragons back then.

(Actually back then, everyone wanted to bag a draconian. Almost makes you wonder if Dragons are really jerks or just justifiably annoyed at everyone.)

So back to George. Conclusion on George? Inconclusive.

Let’s look at Alexander. Alexander hails from the name of Alexander the Great, Greek ruler said to have never lost a battle, often depicted with eyes or two different colours, “one as dark as night and the other as blue as the sky.”  He was also said to wield a thunderbolt from time to time and stated that Zeus was his father. Sound like a werewolf to you? Er, not so much.

But wait. Before you shut the book on the case, don’t forget the baby’s third name: Louis. Has a more werewolf name ever been named? Sure it means great warrior or defender but this by way of its obvious connection to LOUP? – LOUP GAROU –  LUPINE…? The little prince certainly appears to have hair like a Louis already.

So, Prince Vampire? Or Prince Angellic Demigod Werewolf? You decide for yourself.

Or better yet, add the new prince to your list of Important People to Scan. I already did. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Revenge of the Giant Bunnies

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Los Angeles – Photos of menacing bunnies hopping in from all over the world today.

I know it’s Easter, a solemn occasion we mark with eggs and chocolate ostensibly provided by a powerful bunny-like creature but survivors, if your chocolate comes hand-delivered by a lurching Leporidae disguised as leader of the safety patrol, or a vicious chihuahua riding a giant rabbit (below) just say no.

All over the world giant rabbits wreaking havoc.

What’s going on here? Well recall rabbits have been animals of prey for tens of thousands of years. Imagine, twenty thousand years of other animals eating you. That can really get to a species.

Now imagine your best defense strategy is freezing, thumping your tail and making lots of little leverets to try and beat the odds aka: the you-can’t-kill-us-all! defense.

Likewise, the humble Chihuahua has been the brunt of jokes for at least as long. Is this the year together they finally wreak their revenge on us all? This photo from England today shows them teaming up to stop traffic and terrify firefighters.

If you see either of these suspicious rabbits, just run. I can not stress this enough. Do not accept the chocolate. Do not snap a photo. Do not text “OMG’. Okay well maybe the photo. But then run. Just make sure that you email me the photo!

The True Werewolf History of Valentine’s Day

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Well it’s V-Day again! This year, take a moment out from your annual anti-stalker preparations to recall the ancient werewolf roots of Valentine’s Day – but no more than a moment! That would be highly inadvisable. It’s called Lupercalia and it may not be romantic but it’s 99.99% true, like everything else on this site.

Centuries before Emperor Claudius condemned poor St. Valentine to a terrible teddy bear and chocolate death for the then-crime of marrying heterosexual couples, there were twin boys named Romulus and Remus in Rome. Like many twins, Romulus and Remus created quite a bit of chaos by their birth. Even more so because these twins were the children of demi-gods. Their dad was Mars, the god of war and their mom a forest diety named Rhea Silva.

Twin boys raised by a werewolf founded Rome
Romulus and Remus saved by a werewolf on this day.

As a result, these powerful babies Romulus and Remus scared the emperor. He ordered them  abandoned in the woods and left to die in the middle of winter. He also locked their mom Rhea Silva in a convent.

But the emperor didn’t know that Rhea Silva, whose name means “forest spirit” could still communicate with the animals in the forest. She made a deal with a powerful she-wolf named Lupa that if Lupa would adopt her sons and give them milk to save their lives, that she would share them with Lupa on every full moon.

Lupa agreed to the deal and found Romulus and Remus deep in the woods, roughly on this day in February. She fed them her own milk and this caused the physiological changes that would save their lives and turn them into werewolves on the full moon. So that when they became adults, on every full moon the twins would turn into werewolves and always return to her in the forest.

So how does this lead to Valentine’s Day?

Well when Romulus and Remus grew up they used their powers to found the city of Rome and every year in February, Rome held a celebration in honor of their wolf mom, Lupa. Hence the Roman statue of Lupa feeding her wolf-milk to Romulus and Remus above. This celebration was called “Lupercalia,” after Lupa herself.

On Lupercalia the citizens of Rome would party by making chocolate wolf-milk and stuffed wolf toys and trying to get a date. Except for the werewolves of course, who would transform even if it wasn’t a full moon and retreat deep into the forest together for their own secret Lupercalia celebration, about which little is known.

It may not the most romantic story but it’s 99.98% true.

(Minus the one little missing part where Romulus kills his own brother Remus in a fit of were-rage over where to put the city of Rome. Were-rage. Big problem for the lupine kind. Read more about were-rage here on the werewolves page.)

Seth

The Hybrids: They Are Not Just a hybrid!

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In response to repeated gentle and polite requests from friend of the site, legendary survivor and Hybrid Mr. Mutt… I present to you… the preliminary page for Hybrids!… Ta da!

Now normally I don’t like to put things up unless I feel I can present the information with some completeness but due to the rarity of Hybrids the extremely small sample sizes (even for supernatural survivology research which is notorious for small sample sizes) have made it extremely challenging to gather sufficient data in a manner that I could feel fairly confident of my results. However the time has now come to reward Mr. Mutt’s patience and just put the page up already!

So for those of you wondering what a Hybrid is first of all I am going to tell you what they are not. They are not hybrids.

Well I mean I guess technically they are in the same sense that all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.

All Hybrids are hybrids but not all hybrids are Hybrids.

Confused? If so you are not alone.

Let me try to explain.

First of all a hybrid monster is a monster that is actually two (or more) types of monster at the same time. Some common examples are werewolf-vampire hybrids (sometimes known as werepyres and/or vampwolves) but they can be just about any combination. Cyborgs for example are sometimes considered hybrids because they are part human and part robot. Zombies however are not considered hybrids in supernatural survivology circles because their human part has been overwhelmed by their zombie part.

On the other hand Hybrids (always with a capital H) are a very specific type of combination. Vampire Werewolf and Angel. Not necessarily in that order. Perhaps Mr. Mutt can let me know some details that will help me put have some more specific info up on this page.

One thing I do know from all the Hybrids I have met they are all universally awesome. What’s that? How many have I met?… Well as far as I know just one, Mr. Mutt. Like I said small sample size. Anyways at various times there have been a lot more or a few more Hybrids kicking around but there have been a number of cataclysmic events that have significantly altered their population. I want to post some links here to those events but I am unsure where they are right now so I’ll put them up as soon as I find them… I know I left them somewhere.

Are you a Hybrid? Do you know a Hybrid? Are you a Hybrid scholar or just a survivor with facts to share or questions to ask? Have you ever seen a flaming flying wolf soaring overhead? Still confused? Think I just put up a page with not enough info on it?

Well if so then let me and the community of survivors know by posting in the comments below.

Also check back later for more information as it becomes available. Right now I have to go take Naya to watch a documentary about some form of gnome or something, I forget what it is called but I heard that there may be some footage of a dragon in it somewhere too so I am excited to go see it. However as excited as I am to go see it I am even more surprised that she suggested that we go see that. Normally she only wants to see “human” movies but it’s in 3D so maybe she likes that. Anyways I have to run so I’ll talk to you later.

Thanks,

Seth

Demons: You May Be Dealing With A Demon, Or a Daimon

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demonDangerSign-Small-opt

TOP THREE MYTHS ABOUT DEALING WITH DEMONS

(OR DAIMONS) :

MYTH #1: Saying “Bless You” when your friend sneezes will prevent demons entering his body.

CORRECTION: This can ONLY prevent English-speaking demons from entering his body! What about: “Gesunheit,” “A tes souhaites,” and “saúde?” You will never have time to cover them all. Demonologists are currently hard at work trying to find a universal demon-stopper word but until then it’s a crap shoot!

MYTH #2: Changing locations will NOT  help.

CORRECTION – Changing locations can sometimes help. Depends what kind of demon or daimon you have. For instance, try leaving your demon at home with a baby, say your first-born son.  They like that. If like me, you don’t happen to have one handy,  your demon may be impatiently waiting around for you to produce one. Try gently explaining to your demon that you are trying your best to uphold your end of the bargain and how this kind of pressure is not helpful nor conducive to either of you fulfilling the terms of your deal.

Of course none of this helps if YOU are the first-born son. If so, you may want to start looking for a loophole – is your mom really your mom? Where was she on the day you were born? Work with her to make up a plausible alibi and ask to see the details of your demonic contract.

Also, let’s talk about elevators here. And escalators. Hellevators and Hellscalators. Basically any mechanical conveyance to waaaaay downstairs – if you know what I mean!  Unlike angels, demons do not have functioning wings. And like many beings, they need a little help getting upstairs so to speak.

( Most demons are afflicted with one or more deadly sins – sloth for instance – and fun fact! –  Hell fires actually burn on left over fast food grease.)

Anyway, point is, recent research now shows a full 73% of elevators and an unknown number of escalators may in fact be claimed by demons who make use of them as portals to enter our world. If you can identify these Hellevators, you may be able to make use of them to help you with your problem.

(Please do not make use of a hell elevator without the help of a qualified elevator technician. Ask to see his or her license!)

MYTH #3: Demons or daimons must be driven out.

CORRECTION – The matter of whether a demon needs to be driven anywhere is up for debate. The idea that demons are just trouble-making spirits looking for a lift out of Hell has been debunked many times. These days most demons seem pretty capable of driving themselves and make use of our modern conventions to operate portals into our world.

So maybe you need to make friends with your demon. Get to know them and let them get to know the real you. After all, it’s YOU they want. So take long walks together. Talk to your demon. Sing your favorite song over and over without accompaniment.  Share the intimate minutia of your everyday life. Your every thought. What you ate today, how many trips to the bathroom, how that MEAN CLERK IGNORED YOU FOR, like, EVER!…

Watch as your demon learns to do the same. Ignore you forever that is.

Seriously though, new research by demonologists into the new field of “eudaimonics” which translates roughly as the study of inner demons, seems to indicate having a demon might not actually be so bad. Apparently the Greeks believed that each child was blessed with a personal demon or daimon who holds the key to the highest expression of his or her nature. This personal demon is believed to be the source of all personal knowledge and power in pursuits like the arts, physics and math. So learn to embrace your demon! Sure it’s hard. Sometimes they may cause you to projectile vomit and your head to spin around, but studies show if you can just get past that with your demon, it will be worth it. You and your demons can accomplish a lot if you just work together.

Of course if you and your daimon just can’t get along, you may need counselling or even a good separation procedure. I personally do not endorse exorcisms as I’ve never seen one that ended well. But don’t despair! While your average exorcist is probably a quack, there are qualified demon hunters out who know the locations and mechanisms of the demonic portals and how to operate them. A qualified demon hunter can contain your demon long enough to ship him or her away.

MYTH #3: Baby powder is a powerful demon deterrent.

CORRECTION: Only baby-powder huffers believe this. Demons and daimons love baby powder on their feet and even ah, OTHER parts. Putting baby powder on your bedroom floor is like asking a demon to dance.

~~~~~IF YOU ARE THE DEMON~~~~~

Well let’s say I know somebody – a friend let’s say, who has a supernatural survivalist show who REALLY wants to make more video episodes and who MAY be interested in making a deal. You know one of those riches and fortune type deals? (Not the supernatural musical skill kind – although that might be nice too.)

So if you’re not too busy signing contracts or whatnot,  I hope you’ll contact me on the site and maybe we can work something out. I mean hopefully my friend can work something out with you…

Frost Moon Survivor of the Month

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Who will it be?

The Frost Moon is rising to its fullest and frostiest and werewolves everywhere are curling up in their cribs, or roaming free – hopefully NOT in search of angels. Yes, I know this is also technically speaking the Moon of Angels but is that any reason to go looking for a fight?

Why not stop here at SOS instead? I’ll be posting clues about the Survivor of the Month. And this month we will also be inducting one member to the SOS Hall of Fame. One long overdue member.

Enough said here are the first clues. I’ll add some details to them throughout the night. Answers and prizes posted tomorrow….

Frost Moon Survivor of the Month Clues:

1. This Survivor hates wet fur.

2. This Survivor runs with a group of coyote shape shifters.

3. This Survivor is member of a very interesting Zombie Apocalypse Survival team.

4. This Survivor lives in a very dangerous situation. Members of her friend’s family could be A-51 agents.

Guessed it? That’s right it’s:

Moon Song

A small Survivor of the Month iTunes thank you is on the way to Moon Song. Or it will be as soon as I send it! Thanks to everyone who contributed to Survival this month. You keep me keeping on. It may not always look like it, but Graham and I and other survivors all over the globe are always thinking of epic new things we can do with your valuable research and epic tales of survival, so please keep on keeping on. (Seriously. We get dozens of emails every week about it.)

Also, I promised a Hall of Famer this month. Hall of Fame members are not quasi-random like Survivor of the Month. Hall of Famers are beings who have contributed to the survival of countless others here at SOS, including mine. I rely on these Hall of Famers for warnings and reliable research along with general help and goodwill toward other survivors on the site. Like all of us, they come and go on important and sometimes secret survival missions but always seem to keep in touch one way or another. So without further ado, this month one more survivor will be inducted into the SOS Hall of Fame. You will no doubt, recognize him, he’s often the first to greet a new survivor on the site, maybe because of his wings. Yes, that’s right it’s:

Zyboragon

 

Thanks to everyone who contributed to survival this moon. Without you there would be no survival. Please check back for the true account of Moon Song and the Hall of Fame story of Zyboragon – coming up as soon as I send their prizes. Don’t forget to check out some frosty full moon poetry  by Ashpaw if you haven’t already. Or check out the werewolves at yourlupinelife who posted the true story of the Frost Moon along with the epic tale of Louis Pine. (I’m pining for more! When is there more???)

More later! Thanks for keeping on keeping on with SOS.