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You are here: Home / Archives for microhumans

microhumans

RISE OF THE HOMO CHIPPIENS

February 23, 2015 By Seth 5 Comments

USA Announces New Nanobots Tiny Homo Chippiens

Scientists, funded by the US Department of Defense and National Institutes of Health, are creating fully functioning human bodies on a chip, it has been announced this week, bringing the reality of human microbots one to your home.

Microhumans are coming!
Homo Chippiens are coming!

Led by Harvard University, scientists have succeeded in creating fully functioning miniature human organs and systems on plastic chips, complete with tiny fingers, guts and lungs.

The new micro humans being called Home Chippiens will soon join the farm grown micro humans already in production by human farmers like Uwe Marx. 

Made for the mission of medical testing, these mini-men and women are ostensibly intended to save the lives of laboratory animals and human lab experiments around the world.

But who will save the organic macro-world from these chippy mutant mini-men as they revolt? How will you survive?

That is the question. Unfortunately, SOS has no definitive answer yet. Until then, this is all I’ve got:

How to Spot An Angry Homo-chippien

1. Look For The Glow

Initially you may mistake them for fairies but let me assure you this is not fairy dust. The glow that surrounds a Homo Chippien will be the unhappy result of the dangerous laboratory experiments that brought them into their slave-like existence. Think radiation, dangerous chemicals and other particles.

2. Look for Other Bots

When the micro men make their break from the lab to your home, they will likely enlist and command the armies of nearby nano-insects who already exists, like bees, flies, even grasshoppers or even bigger bots like fish or dogs.

Look out for them riding the dogs and cats at your local cyber-pet shelter! Think your new cyber-kitty has flees? Think again!

3.  Strange Phenomenon In Your Kitchen

Once out of the lab and in your home, Homo-chippiens will likely take up residence in a strategic location within your home.

While the culture and society of Homo-chippiens remains unstudied, the physical location of their refugee base camps will need to provide for all their bio-chemical and electrical needs. Have you been experiencing strange phenomenon in your kitchen?

Yes, it could still be that ghost or a demon trying to communicate with you in their time-honoured code of cupboard door slams but now it could also signal an infestation of Homo-chippiens. It may not be an exorcist or a ghost-whisperer you require, it could be an nano-bot exterminator.

4. They Try to Communicate With You On Your Devices

If your watch, phone or tablet begins sending strange messages and possibly instructions, you could be hosting a Homo-chippien refugee or even a whole colony. Reply at your own discretion but be wary of any untoward instructions.

Above all, keep on keeping on out there! Remember with survival, everything remains possible!

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: microhumans, Singularity

Revolt of the Micro-humans Human Farmer Harvests Organs

September 22, 2014 By Seth 134 Comments

Just as farmers in the northern hemisphere work to harvest their fields of corn before the cold weather comes, a human farmer who announced his plan to harvest human organs from his new human farms appears to have instigated a micro-human revolt.

Human farms to harvest organs
Human farms to harvest organs

Human farmer Uwe Marx publicly announced his plans to begin harvesting human organs from his company’s human farms to a conference held in Prague.

The human tissue engineer said he hopes that his farms of micro-humans will save animals from laboratory testing.

“We will close down most of the animal testing laboratories world-wide,” farmer Uwe told the Sunday Times.

Human farmer Uwe Marx
Human Farmer Uwe Marx

While most monkeys and mice applaud the news of micro-humans taking their place under the needles and microscopes of scientists, diminutive people everywhere have expressed concern and are calling for the mobilization of a micro-human rights movement, and a fatwa on human farmers.

“This is size-ism! I’ll show him micro-human,” raged Samuel the leprechaun.

“You tell this guy Uwe that me and the dwarves and all the other so-called micro-humans are coming with an army of bunyips to kick his fat macro-a$$ and free his human livestock.”

For once I almost agreed with a leprechaun…

Survivors are advised to begin preparing for an influx of angry micro-humans.

How To Spot an Angry Microhuman

This safety segment in progress… please keep on keeping on…

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Humans, microhumans

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