Gird your loins and eloigne your gold, Survivors. The Leprechaun onslaught has begun. Judging by the number of reports received, this St. Patrick’s Day threatens to be the worst one in recent history. March, always a month of Leprechauny Lunacy, this year has gone over the top. For example, South Korea, not generally known as a hotbed of organized Leprechaunery, this year reveals itself the new HOMELAND of the Leprechaun Kingpin himself, a little man referred to only as “Mr. Park,” recently nabbed with over 12, 000 pair of stolen footwear. While the mainstream media laughs it off as a harmless foot fetish, follow up reports from the controversial shoe reunification program reveals the success of Mr Park’s evil ploy – thousands of shoe owners have gone MIA under mysterious circumstances, victims of Leprechaun enchant.
Some say it’s the global recession resulting in increased global demand for gold while others attribute it to environmental damage of the annual Irish four leaf clover harvest that usually keeps them in check.
Normally my advice is simple, lock up your shoes and your gold, wear lots of green and stay indoors until at least March 18 or even longer if you can. April 1st, so-called April Fool’s day is usually the Leprechaun’s last gasp. Above all if you spot a rainbow approaching, RUN!
But even so, this year maybe too little too late. Many of us, like Sheryl below and yours truly above, have already lost our shoes and/or our gold and/or our pants. Check out Sheryl’s email below.