As an aficionado of survival camps around the world, from the Ghost Ship Tour to Fairy School to Alien Abduction Boot Camp, I have to say it takes a lot for a camp to get my attention these days, but this poster in my neighbourhood recently did just that – finally a camp that teaches zombies to survive encounters with adults!
Encounters with adults can be terrifying to anyone under the age of 45. Take it from me. I used to believe the ability to hang out with and converse easily with unrelated adults would magically arrive on my 20th birthday. Suddenly I would have the voice of Don LaFontaine and a handshake so epic the entire universe would line up to shake my hands. Both of them. Twice. Naya’s mom and dad would suddenly be so impressed, they would try to adopt me until I had to explain that was creepy. Unfortunately, that never happened. Probably because, unlike the shadowy zombies depicted on this poster here, I did not have an ADULT SURVIVAL COURSE…
I’m not saying that I necessarily endorse the use of these tactics by zombies against adults. I’m not sure it’s the best way to promote our mutual survival and most adults are pretty human really and trying their best. I’m just saying how nice that somebody in my neighbourhood is thinking about helping out the zombies. I think Zyboragon would be pleased. If he hadn’t lost his eyes.
You so have to be a little worried about the ALL MEALS INCLUDED business…. what exactly will they be serving… braaaaaiins?