Just as the fictionalized Katniss Everdeen prepares to receive timely sponsor gifts via unmanned drone on a screen near you, Amazon unveils the technology it will use to officially produce the first real life Hunger Games with its new octocopter unmanned delivery service. May the odds be ever in your favour!
What am I on about now? I’m talking about the awesome Amazon octo-copter, the unmanned delivery droid ready to liberate me from my illustrious day job as a dashing undercover delivery dude so I can finally be a Trihute in real life.
You must have seen one by now but in case you haven’t, because say you don’t have two screens to rub together or something, here’s the official photo of the tiny, self-propelled helicopter coming soon to a doorstep near you. If you’re lucky and you have the right flammable attire that is.
President Snow, I mean, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos says his company will be using these to deliver anything, anywhere in 30 minutes or less by the year 2015. Good news for everyone who might be starving in a cave and/or without health care for their burns or desperately in need of a glass of water. Sign me up! Who doesn’t need more water?
There’s really only one question left to consider at this point. How will you snag a generous sponsor(s) who will send some of these awesome Amazon drones at just the right moment to ensure your survival?
Consider the following suggestions.
How To Snag A Sponsor and Survive the Real Hunger Games with Drone Delivered Amazon Gifts
Another helpy SOS list in progress…
1. Get a really awesome haircut?
2. Light your clothing on fire at a dramatic moment? *
*Just be sure there’s a camera handy or you could go through a lot of clothing first, not to mention third degree burns.
3. Publicly pledge your undying but feigned love to that cute classmate and hope she doesn’t mind?
4. Get some skills like really good with a bow and arrow.
5. Develop and deploy a signature hand signal of personal and cultural importance?*
**Just make sure you do your research first! One finger more or less can mean the difference between honouring the hunt and hailing Hitler.
6. Perform an act of selflessness in defiance of authority and convention? *
***Again, remember to make sure there’s a camera on you or you might have to do it again and again and again. Who can be that selfless all the time?
7. Have I missed anything? Is there anything else?
Fortunately I should have lots of time to practice shooting apples, finding a good haircutter and learning to ignite my clothing in the coming drone age. You’ll find me hanging out with Santa Claus, Spiderman, Urban Squatch and all the other unemployed delivery dudes and dudettes who were secretly supernaturally something else after all the bills were paid.
Now let the new Hunger Games begin!