CAIRO MUSEUM – Jan 30: News from the Egyptian insurrection; it’s time for an old-fashioned mummy resurrection!
Reports filtering out of Cairo despite the lack of Internet, indicate that besieged dictator Hosni Mubarak may turn to ancient mummy magic to regain his hold on the people demonstrating in the streets against him for over a week now.
“It’s no surprise that Mr. Mubarak would turn to the past for help. Egyptian rulers have always used the gods to strengthen their hold on the people,” Says Egyptologist Geraldine Pinch. “Not to mention the gods themselves. Remember the very first mummy resurrection in history. Isis gained the power of magic from Thoth when she re-assembled the 14 scattered pieces of the dead Osiris.”
(Although the actual number of pieces may have been only 13, due to a certain missing organ which Isis had to make out of gold. But the point is that Isis was the first to discover the power of mummy magic, which in turn enabled her to be a mummy, giving birth to her son Horus.)
Now that Mubarak has officially stepped down in Egypt, can the mummies help Mubarak make off with his money?
“There is no way for you to know if the opening of the mouth ceremony was performed correctly or not,” writes one researcher of ancient languages and paranormal history who goes by the name Paranormale on the site @http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=1340&cpage=1#comment-25898.
Egyptologists and researchers like Pinch and Paranormale are pitching in all over the world to recreate the scene of the crime and determine if the world must now prepare for the upsurge in mummy magic and which kind exactly.
Until we know for sure, my advice is don’t wait to find out! if the opening of the mouth business worked or not.