Spider Girl Wanted By World For Questioning After Tarantulas Take Over Town
The town of Maningrida, Australia has reportedly been taken over by a new type of tarantula after it was first introduced to the world by this PhD student student Sophie Harrison AKA Spider Girl.
Her strange new tarantula can’t kill you but will make you vomit for an entire day.
Now the world wants to know, is Spider Girl the source of this strange new vomit-inducing vermin and if so, why would she unleash it on the world?
Maningrida is a village in Australia’s Northern Territory, home to some 2,000 aboriginal inhabitants who know well the creationary powers of their land as “the place where the Dreaming changed shape.”
So naturally they took it in stride earlier this month when University of Adelaide student Sophie Harrison produced a strange new tarantula from the bottom of a deep pit and introduced it to the world.
Now a few short weeks later after the town has reportedly been taken over by her spiders the world wants an explanation.
“Did the town offend her in some way? Did she get a bad lunch for example? Or is this just some college kid’s idea of a sick joke?” speculates one supernatural survivalist who is so not just me quoting myself yet again.
“If so, it’s pretty good. As far as sick jokes go, vomiting almost always works. And top marks for creativity and execution here. She really does look innocent in this photo.
Not to mention her PhD thesis is a virtual slam dunk at this point.”
Other, crustier but more responsible medical officials however, have issued a warning that this is no joke.
“Vomiting causes dehydration that can lead to seizures and even death.”
And the Australian government says to tell any and all supernatural tourists planning to pull a copycat gag to just stay home.
“The Dreaming soil of Maningrida is sacred to the Kunibídji people and they don’t take kindly to outsiders thinking they can just show up and use it to create new species on a whim.”
(Trust me. You don’t want to try it. They still haven’t forgiven Darwin. See what I mean?)
Survivors with any further info about the Spider Girl or how to stop her emetic arachnids before the whole world loses its lunch, please contact the site asap.
And as always, long may you keep on keeping on.