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You are here: Home / Archives for Draconians

Draconians

Black Dragons Rising

January 22, 2012 By Seth 2 Comments

Black Dragons rise to claim their year
Black Dragons rule in 2012 Year of the Water Dragon

Well it’s official. The Year of the Dragon begins today and Black Dragons around the world are waking up and slinking from their secret caves to claim the year.

How will you prepare for twelve months of high Draconian drama?

Recall dragon kind or so-called “Draconians” are born roughly every twelve years and every batch gets their own special element and color. 2012 being the year of the water dragon, whose team color is black, Black Dragons everywhere are rising to the occasion and the rumbling is being felt around the world.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Dragons in general can be great leaders when they use their powers of fluency, fire and flight for the good of the others. Which they often do, especially when they are young.

But sometimes as the years wear on and the transformation toll begins to add up, older dragons can become disgruntled Draconians, obsessed only with treasure and sleeping away the last hundred years of their lives.

These Draconians slink away to secret treasure caves and only emerge from slumber long enough to hunt or stir up  trouble every now and again, for instance on the SOS Draconians page which has its share of slumbering Draconians including the notorious “Ytsaeb131”

But no dragon can sleep through its year. Starting today, they slink blinking from their caves to greet the new dragons and claim the year. So how will you survive?

Well first step, as always, is to determine you might be dealing with a dragon. If you don’t have The Monstrometer, look for other telltale signs including:

* Loquacious and lightning speed communication, often with unknown and/or unseen parties and often making demands for things ie: limos, pizzas, video game controls, black M & Ms, world domination etc.

* Hot, sooty-smelling breath. (WARNING: never tell a draconian he or she has hot, sooty breath. They get very offended.)

* A tendency toward iridescent dark clothing. They choose this to hide any black scales that might cling to their clothing in human form.

* Love of treasure in general and black pearls in particular. They will probably possess a black pearl object to give as a gift to one of the newborn Black Dragons.

* Dragon tattoo

* Extremely sleepy.

If you determine you might be dealing with a Black Dragon, your second step Draconian defense is as simple as a good box of breath mints or gum made with nitrogen, a natural fire extinguisher.

Look for products containing a high level of GUM ARABIC which is scientifically proven to increase fire-extinguishing nitrogen levels in the digestive tract. Then be generous. Offer the Draconian two or three or even four pieces. Not only will the gum slow their speech, the nitrogen in the gum will (temporarily) extinguish their firey dragon breath.

After the gum, step three is deceptively simple Y*A*W*N.  Yes, a big fat contagious yawn.  If you’ve ever tried this in a group, you know that it works. Mere seconds after you launch a big, stretchy yawn, everyone in your airspace starts heading for bed. The Draconian, supernaturally sleepy to begin with, will be helpless against your snooze ooze, she starts yawning and dreaming of sleep. In fact, many Draconians can’t even read the word “yawn” without letting loose and nodding off for fifty years or so.

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: 2012, black dragon, Draconians, dragon, dragons, water dragon

What’s New in Monstrometer 2.2?

October 8, 2011 By Seth 29 Comments

What’s new in Monstrometer 2.2? If you say it out loud you will discover that that I am a poet and I didn’t even know it.

The BIG change is that Graham and I fixed the way that the Survival Videos play. They were generally not working the way that you would want them to thanks to a change in the OS and we tried for months to fix it but now we finally figured it out. So if you never have before please take a look at the videos. There are lots of ways to get there including taping on the spot where it says Zombie Month right on the first page.

The logic to determine your Monster diagnosis has also been fine-tuned, increasing the Monstrometer’s overall accuracy by nearly 0.87%. Now I know that may not seem like much but it is a lot when you are dealing with something as accurate as the Monstrometer.

And while we have not added any new results to the database we have added a number of new questions to help diagnose your supernatural state.

For those who didn’t notice it was there before there is a “More” tab that contains all kinds of goodies like a monsters page with quick links to all of the Monstrometer Monster Report pages, the videos and more! (Hence the name)

The update has been uploaded to the App Store for approval and should be available for you to download soon. Probably in less than a week. Graham and I are already working on the next update which should be a little bit bigger. Maybe even including a new result.

Keep on keeping on.

Seth

P.S. Screenshots coming soon!

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Filed Under: Announcements Tagged With: Aliens, Angels, Cannibals, Cyborgs, Demigods, Demons, Draconians, Ghosts, Humans, iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Leprechauns, Mermonsters, Monstrometer, Psychos, Sasquatch, survivors, Time Travellers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies

SOS Monstrometer version 2.0 – What’s New!

November 15, 2010 By Seth 6 Comments

Hail Survivors!

It’s now here! The Monstrometer version 2.0 update! I said it was going to be big-ish and it is-ish. So biggish in fact that it needed a whole new number!

New in Monstrometer version 2.0:

  • Added “Interrogate Self” and “Interrogate Other” option. Now the program knows if you are scanning yourself or someone else… well as long as you don’t lie to it.
  • Stats tracking!!! All your scans are saved and you can view the list of the statistics from your self scans and other scans in either list mode or as a pie chart. This will help you keep track of what other creatures you are encountering and also your own evolving situation and potential hybridization.
  • New Monsters gallery helps you keep track of what monsters you have scanned with the Monstrometer and provides direct links to the individual monster pages on the website. Unlock new monsters by scanning them.
  • Facebook Integration updated so that now your Facebook post will reflect if you were scanning yourself or someone else.
  • You can now choose the depth of interrogation. From 10 questions all the way up to 25 questions. More questions gives a more accurate result and obviously takes longer as well. 10 Questions is fast but sacrifices some accuracy for that speed.
  • Vastly improved interrogation logic for much more accurate results.
  • 17 New interrogation questions added for improved accuracy.

There are no new monsters added this time but we think you will find that these changes really make the Monstrometer a lot better.

The Monstrometer 2.0 is now in the app store: http://itunes.com/apps/monstrometer. If you already have an earlier version you can update it for free just by visiting the App Store icon on you iPod Touch, iPhone or iPad or through iTunes on your computer. If you don’t have it yet you can still get it for free by just visiting the App Store.

System Requirements: The app still works with iOS 3.1 but has been tested all the way up to 4.1. It works great on iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad.

Special thanks to Jmich and P5t5r and many of the other users on the site and reviewers on the iTunes Store. We have taken your feedback and suggestions and made the Monstrometer even better. Also thanks to the -admittedly small – Beta test group! You know who you are! (and I know what you are!)

This is just a step in the long promised big set of updates to the Monstrometer and the website. We hope it keeps you keeping on! We think it was worth the wait but we are still sorry that it was such a long one. Graham and I are already busy planning for the next update but I can’t promise that it will be quite this big. Also still on the lookout for any of those deal-making demons who can help me make my next episodes… so if you know one or you ARE one… well, Graham has baby powder!

Thanks for keeping on with me!

Seth

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Filed Under: Announcements Tagged With: Aliens, Angels, Area 51, Cannibals, Cyborgs, Demons, Draconians, Ghosts, Humans, iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Leprechauns, Mermonsters, Monstrometer, Psychos, Sasquatch, Time Travellers, Vampires, Witches, Zombies

SOS Monstrometer version 1.4 – What’s New!

October 26, 2010 By Seth Leave a Comment

Hail Survivors!

It’s here! The Monstrometer version 1.4 update! Just in time for Halloween.

If you voted in the pool or are back from the future so you probably know some of the news: Time Travellers are now in the Monstrometer.

The BIG news is that the Monstrometer now works with Facebook. That’s right you can now post the results of your scans right onto your Facebook page.

The Monstrometer 1.4 is now on the app store: http://itunes.com/apps/monstrometer. If you already have an earlier version you can update it for free just by visiting the App Store icon on you iPod Touch, iPhone or iPad. If you don’t have it yet you can still get it for free.

New in Monstrometer version 1.4:

Facebook Integration – Now you can post the results of your scans to your Facebook! Connecting to Facebook obviously requires that your device be connected to the Internet.
New result added – Time TravellerVideos – New Icon!

The app still works with iOS 3.1 but has been tested all the way up to 4.1. It works great on iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad.

You can post your results just like Survivor Sam below:

Sasquatch Sam Screen Shot

The Facebook integration is just the first step in the long promised big set of updates to the Monstrometer and the website. The next one you are gonna LOVE! We’re already working on it but it was time to start detecting Time Travellers!

Thanks for keeping on keeping on!

Seth

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Filed Under: Announcements Tagged With: Aliens, Angels, Cannibals, Cyborgs, Demons, Draconians, Facebook, Ghosts, Halloween, Humans, iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Leprechauns, Mermonsters, Monstrometer, Psychos, Sasquatch, Time Travellers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies

SOS Monstrometer version 1.3 – What’s New!

September 4, 2010 By Seth 3 Comments

Hail Survivors!

It’s now here! The Monstrometer version 1.3 update!

The BIG news is that playback of the videos which had previously been problematic for many of you should now be working perfectly. Please watch the videos and let me know how they work.

The Monstrometer 1.3 is now on the app store: http://itunes.com/apps/monstrometer. If you already have an earlier version you can update it for free just by visiting the App Store icon on you iPod Touch, iPhone or iPad.

New in Monstrometer version 1.3:

  • New result added – Ghost
  • Videos – The playback problems that many of you have experienced should now be a thing of the past.
  • Expanded interrogation for more accurate results
  • Enhanced sensitivity in interrogation mode.

We have added lots of articles and there has been a lot of interesting discussion in the comments so check it out. Plus all the videos on the the site should now be playable on your iOS device (iPod Touch, iPhone, or iPad).

Graham and I are still working a really big set of updates to the Monstrometer and the website and hopefully someday new videos too so stay tuned and wish us luck and keep on keeping on! [I know it is taking forever!!! Thanks for your patience.]

Seth

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Filed Under: Announcements Tagged With: Aliens, Angels, Area 51, Cannibals, Cyborgs, Demons, Draconians, Ghosts, Humans, iPhone, Leprechauns, Mermonsters, Monstrometer, Psychos, Sasquatch, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies

SOS Monstrometer version 1.2 – What’s New!

June 3, 2010 By Seth 98 Comments

Hail Survivors!

It is now here! The Monstrometer version 1.2 update!

The Monstrometer 1.2 update has been approved on the app store and is now available. You can get it for free here: http://itunes.com/apps/monstrometer

New in Monstrometer version 1.2:

  • New possible result – Draconian
  • New possible result – Angel
  • Fine tuning of interrogation algorithm eliminated several possible errors
  • Improved security vs Agents of Area 51 (specific details are classified)

Thanks to everyone who sent in feedback and suggestions! You know who you are, your names have been omitted for security reasons. Please keep sending them in.

Graham and I are already planning a really big set of updates to the Monstrometer and the website so stay tuned and wish us luck and keep on keeping on!

Seth

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Filed Under: Announcements Tagged With: Aliens, Angels, Area 51, Cannibals, Cyborgs, Demons, Draconians, iPhone, Leprechauns, Mermonsters, Monstrometer, Psychos, Sasquatch, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies

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