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Angel Imposter Outed at Conclave

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Priest Dons Angel Wings to Hang With Angels

A mortal man now identified as a priest has been outed for impersonating an angel at a conclave in Poland.

Priest dressed as angel in Poland.
Priest dressed as angel in Poland.

The unamed priest in this photo was snapped donning angel wings to infiltrate an annual gathering of angels in Lanckorona, Poland.

Hundreds of angels flood to this tiny ancient town annually to gather in the shadow of its ruined castle at the height of angel season, far away from the eyes of most early mortals.

But this year, a few intrepid humans including this priest were caught in a clumsy attempt to infiltrate their hosts by pinning wings on his back.

Other humans were apprehended wearing foil halos and even awkward horns to impersonate the fallen.

“I felt bad busting him but Humans need to know that getting caught by an angel in a secret meeting is a very dangerous situation. Do you know what would have happened if one of the fallen had busted him instead of me?” said the anonymous angel who contacted me by email this week.

“Not to mention it’s a bit demeaning.  I mean, really. Does he really think that we look this way?”

So today as angel season draws to a close, SOS presents our top three tips for spotting – or impersonating if you should be so bold ~ or insane~ as to attempt to infiltrate an angelic host.

Three Ways to Spot An Angel

1. Angels Don’t Photograph Very Well

They say to behold an angel in full glory would drive a mere mortal mad. For this reason, they must carefully modulate their appearance to humans and for this reason, can sometimes appear very ordinary. For the same reason, angels almost never appear in photos. Or if they do appear, it will be only faintly, awash in angelic light and hidden shadow.

Almost the only thing you may be able to discern from a photo of an angel is whether you may be dealing with one of the celestial or the fallen.

Angels gather annually at Lanckorona Castle
Angels gather annually at Lanckorona Castle

2. Angels Hide Their Wings

Fallen or not, angels never show their wings unnecessarily. Two very good reasons for this.

First and foremost, in angel warfare the clipping and cauterizing of your wings is a cruel and common tactic. It is the one thing angels fear most of all. An angel without wings is sidelined from their mission for an indefinite period of time and the remedy remains unknown. Shadow wings are a crude replacement and involve a dark deal with a shady underworlder type.

Second reason angels hide their wings is because, as SOS readers well know, there is a thriving trade in the traffic of angel wing feathers. Many beings including witches and vampires employ them for spells and ceremonies or just currency.

3. What’s Up Their Sleeve?

If you can, that is. Angels have difficulty hiding the manifesting powers of light and/or dark percolating in the palms of their hands. This is why they tend to wear overlong, loose fitting sleeves of a celestial weave that allows them to remain covered at all times. But a glance up their sleeves will quickly reveal the truth.

For this reason, incognito angels are not big hand shakers. Try offering to shake hands with a suspected angel and see what happens. But if you spot smoke up the sleeve, please don’t wait to find out! You could be dealing with an angry fallen angel. 

Angels: What if you or somebody you love is an Angel?

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DangerSign-Small-optYOU MAY BE DEALING WITH AN ANGEL!

Angels, mistaken for paragons of peace and love by confused humans everywhere, have actually been waging a terrible, bloody war with each other for around 4.5 BILLION years. During this time, virtually every angel has been recruited to one side or another thus blurring any distinction between “fallen” or “unfallen” that may have once existed. As a result although some of them may indeed be good or helpful to you,  it’s hard to know which ones. Or why. Worse, sometime around year 1 billion the angels began to forget what the war was even about or how it could be resolved. In this confusion they have widened their war to include a lot of innocent bystanders, especially humans they suspect of being “nephilim,” that is angel-human hybrids.

So, how to survive? Pray? NO! Above all do NOT pray in front of an angel. Angels consider that a HUGE insult, to think that God would listen to you and not to them. Maybe try this instead:

1. Can you play the harp? If not, maybe learn. Fast. Angels are entranced by the sound of harp music. Maybe have some ready on your iPod.

2. Stay in your car. Angels hate cars and driving anywhere.

3. Talk a LOT about your “Great Uncle Gregori.” In fact, create a celestial ringtone for him and arrange for him to “call” you and interrupt.

4. Tell her she’s molting. Angels are very proud of their wings and very conscious of the market value of the feathers which can be used in “magic” pillows and duvets. An angel will do almost anything to avoid leaving feathers behind.

5. Out-imagine him. Angels can “imagine” almost any weapon they want into their hands but it takes a moment. During this time you can sometimes break their concentration by questioning choices like, “Why not eight inch spikes?”  or, “It needs a pattern on the hilt…”

~~~IF YOU ARE ANGEL OR NEPHILIM~~~

The first thing you need to remember as a part-angel “nephilim” is SECRECY! Until you know who can be trusted with your secret, anything you say or do may draw suspicion and attention that you probably don’t want. Especially in November. Humans all over the world call out the angels for Archangel Day, November 8, unleashing a flurry of global angel activity. So don’t be surprised if one of them attempts to make contact with you during this month so you need to be careful as you begin to discover your angelic abilities. Some of these may include:

1. Communicating with animals.

2. Healing.

3. Understanding and maybe even speaking languages that you have never even studied.

4. Wings that may – or may not! – enable you to fly. Some report these wings appear in shadow long before they actually begin to grow.

5. A powerful imagination and the ability to materialize things from it.

These abilities do not normally emerge all at once and can be trained with the right angel teacher. However beware of the fallen ones who want to recruit you into their angel war. Or worse, eliminate you due to something called the Nephilim Prophesy. The Nephilim Prophesy is rumored to link the life and death of the nephilim to the end of the world which in turn is supposed to theoretically bring on the final stage in the angel’s long war. As nobody has actually SEEN this prophesy, the actual details are a little bit vague but in any case, if you don’t want to be a pawn in cosmic game of chess, then keep your feathers under wraps!

(Apologies to any angel-human experimental hybrids, you so-called “Teraphim.” I know your case is different but I’m running out of room.)

For more information about nephilim, see Chris Nephilim (below). He has been reliable so far and appears entirely neutral.