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You are here: Home / Archives for Aliens

Aliens

Invading Giant Aliens Save Ecosystem!

May 1, 2011 By Seth 1 Comment

Usually news of alien invasions (particularly giant aliens) is accompanied by reports of massive death and destruction perhaps some enslavement. In general not good news for the current inhabitants of Earth. This alien invasion however has a happy ending… well at least so far.

These aliens, Giant Space Tortoises from Aldebaran (an orange giant star 65 light years away in the constellation Taurus), have landed on the uninhabited island of Ile aux Aigrettes, off the coast of of Mauritius (in the Indian Ocean near Madagascar) and appear to have settled there starting in 2000. The island is not inhabited by humans and so this alien colony was not reported until now.

Many thought that an effort should be made to repel the invasion of the giant aliens but researchers discovered that in spite of their giant size (661 pounds or 300 kilograms) not only were these aliens non threatening but that they actually were helping to preserve the natural ecosystem of the island! The aliens eat the fruit of the ebony trees and then… um… disperse… the seeds at various locations around the island thus helping to keep this tree from extinction. Furthermore Dr. Christine Griffiths, a research associate at the University of Bristol and the lead author of a study on the giant aliens, reports that the seeds that have passed through the aliens digestive system are more likely to sprout into new trees than seeds that have not.

Do these aliens intend to colonize other areas of Earth? Well they have been on Earth for over a decade already and have made no efforts to expand their territory so far so early indications are good but no one has managed to decode their language so far so we can’t ask them.

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Aliens, Giant, Humans, survivors

Is this a prelude to invasion?

May 1, 2011 By Seth 3 Comments

Hail Survivors,

Check this out. I was recently sent a link to this video clip by Kindacreepedoutchick. What do you think? Are these sightings real or are some or all of them a clever fake?

Is A51 behind it all? Are extra-dimensional creatures controlling A51? Is everyone on the Earth (human and monster alike) in grave danger from these EDCs? Is this a ploy by government agents to spread fear and mistrust? Hollywood propaganda? Aliens trying to divert us from the truth?

Is this possibly related to the Giant Alien Invasion?

Please let us know your thoughts.

Keep on keeping on.

Seth

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Aliens, Area 51, NASA, Werewolves

Dirty Meteorites Transport Alien Bacteria

March 6, 2011 By Seth 8 Comments

Dirty Meteorites: Who's Cleaning The Ship?

Friday Mar 04, 2011 – Unsanitary news for alien-human relations this week. Nine meteorites have been quarantined after NASA’s discovery of alien bacteria on board. The dirty meteorites are refueling humanity’s fear of aliens with dirty tentacles, while leaving earthbound aliens concerned for the future of their precious meteorite transport supply drops.

Space flight sanitation inspector Dr. Richard B. Hoover discovered the alien bacteria on nine CII carbonaceous meteorites and published his findings in the Journal of Cosmology today. While the exact provenance of these nine dirty meteorites remains undetermined, they have been widely speculated to come from passing supply comets, shuttling goods from one of Jupiter’s many moons, possibly Europa, to the alien community here on earth.

“What if NASA cuts off delivery of our powdered Bantha milk and anti-gravity cream?” asks one concerned alien who asked to remain anonymous. “All because some lazy loading crew on the mother ship couldn’t be bothered to wash his tentacles?”

Will the discovery of nine dirty drops now lead to increased interplanetary delivery regulation?

“Look people it’s only nine dirty meteorites. Nine out of 35, 000,” says the concerned alien. “What about all those dirty space probes NASA’s been sending all over the solar system! You can’t tell me those have been sterilized.  And don’t even get me started on all the space junk NASA leaves lying around up there!”

Inter-planetary comet travel and meteorite delivery of alien materials was first studied by Arthur C. Clark in 1960 when he first described the use of comets to shield space travelers from the sun’s radiation. This practice continued largely unregulated until 2006 when NASA began to actively study this interplanetary transportation and communication, and began scrutinizing some 35, 000 meteorites.

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Aliens, carbonaceous meterorite, comets, cyanobacteria, dirty aliens, Dr. Richard B. Hoover, e, Europa, Journal of Cosmology, meteorite bacteria, NASA, space junk

SOS Monstrometer version 2.0 – What’s New!

November 15, 2010 By Seth 6 Comments

Hail Survivors!

It’s now here! The Monstrometer version 2.0 update! I said it was going to be big-ish and it is-ish. So biggish in fact that it needed a whole new number!

New in Monstrometer version 2.0:

  • Added “Interrogate Self” and “Interrogate Other” option. Now the program knows if you are scanning yourself or someone else… well as long as you don’t lie to it.
  • Stats tracking!!! All your scans are saved and you can view the list of the statistics from your self scans and other scans in either list mode or as a pie chart. This will help you keep track of what other creatures you are encountering and also your own evolving situation and potential hybridization.
  • New Monsters gallery helps you keep track of what monsters you have scanned with the Monstrometer and provides direct links to the individual monster pages on the website. Unlock new monsters by scanning them.
  • Facebook Integration updated so that now your Facebook post will reflect if you were scanning yourself or someone else.
  • You can now choose the depth of interrogation. From 10 questions all the way up to 25 questions. More questions gives a more accurate result and obviously takes longer as well. 10 Questions is fast but sacrifices some accuracy for that speed.
  • Vastly improved interrogation logic for much more accurate results.
  • 17 New interrogation questions added for improved accuracy.

There are no new monsters added this time but we think you will find that these changes really make the Monstrometer a lot better.

The Monstrometer 2.0 is now in the app store: http://itunes.com/apps/monstrometer. If you already have an earlier version you can update it for free just by visiting the App Store icon on you iPod Touch, iPhone or iPad or through iTunes on your computer. If you don’t have it yet you can still get it for free by just visiting the App Store.

System Requirements: The app still works with iOS 3.1 but has been tested all the way up to 4.1. It works great on iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad.

Special thanks to Jmich and P5t5r and many of the other users on the site and reviewers on the iTunes Store. We have taken your feedback and suggestions and made the Monstrometer even better. Also thanks to the -admittedly small – Beta test group! You know who you are! (and I know what you are!)

This is just a step in the long promised big set of updates to the Monstrometer and the website. We hope it keeps you keeping on! We think it was worth the wait but we are still sorry that it was such a long one. Graham and I are already busy planning for the next update but I can’t promise that it will be quite this big. Also still on the lookout for any of those deal-making demons who can help me make my next episodes… so if you know one or you ARE one… well, Graham has baby powder!

Thanks for keeping on with me!

Seth

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Filed Under: Announcements Tagged With: Aliens, Angels, Area 51, Cannibals, Cyborgs, Demons, Draconians, Ghosts, Humans, iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Leprechauns, Mermonsters, Monstrometer, Psychos, Sasquatch, Time Travellers, Vampires, Witches, Zombies

Alien Anti-Gravity Cream Discovered

November 13, 2010 By Seth 11 Comments

Aliens Use Anti-Gravity Cream

Discovered (2:31 am) :

Astonishing new evidence of alien activity on earth.

Stopped at an all-night drug store in a strange neighborhood tonight between pizza deliveries for a can of guarana and some hydrogen pyroxide  and spotted this alien health product, right out on a shelf beside the dental floss ============>>>>

And no you’re not dreaming. Trust me, I thought the same thing. But it does in fact say, ANTI-GRAVITY CREAM.  A cream that is clearly designed to assist alien beings adapt to the gravitational forces of our planet by neutralizing its effect on the body when you apply it.

This Anti-Gravity Cream by Dermaglob promises aliens the ability to overcome earth’s centripetal force for a mere $89.00. This price seems pretty reasonable to me, considering NASA spends around 20 billion doing the same thing!

But to be fair to NASA, it’s unclear how many tubes of this gravity defying cream one would need to achieve weightlessness or how long the anti-gravity effect would last.

Unfortunately I was not able to test it. By the time I realized I was NOT asleep on a bad dreamcation, I took this photo with my iPhone before the clerk made a beeline for me. I have to say, she seemed strange and maybe little bit floaty.

And did she ever move FAST. She grabbed the bottle right out of my hand and asked if she could help me. When I asked her just how much Anti-Gravity Cream it would take for me to float out of there, she pretended I was joking. Clever.

But I persisted. I asked her if I could just try some, a little bit, just to see. But no. It’s not made for you, she says.  I WONDER WHY! I didn’t say that but I thought it. I hope she couldn’t read minds. Anyway, she stood there guarding the shelf until I had to go on another call.

Which is too bad because the next call was 3 extra-larges to a fifth floor walk up – I could have used a little help with gravity.

So has anyone else spotted this cream in their neighborhood? And if so were you able to try it?

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: alien, Aliens, anti-gravity cream, centrifugal force, centripetal force, dermaglow, gravitational fields, gravity, hydrogen peroxide, NASA

SOS Monstrometer version 1.4 – What’s New!

October 26, 2010 By Seth Leave a Comment

Hail Survivors!

It’s here! The Monstrometer version 1.4 update! Just in time for Halloween.

If you voted in the pool or are back from the future so you probably know some of the news: Time Travellers are now in the Monstrometer.

The BIG news is that the Monstrometer now works with Facebook. That’s right you can now post the results of your scans right onto your Facebook page.

The Monstrometer 1.4 is now on the app store: http://itunes.com/apps/monstrometer. If you already have an earlier version you can update it for free just by visiting the App Store icon on you iPod Touch, iPhone or iPad. If you don’t have it yet you can still get it for free.

New in Monstrometer version 1.4:

Facebook Integration – Now you can post the results of your scans to your Facebook! Connecting to Facebook obviously requires that your device be connected to the Internet.
New result added – Time TravellerVideos – New Icon!

The app still works with iOS 3.1 but has been tested all the way up to 4.1. It works great on iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad.

You can post your results just like Survivor Sam below:

Sasquatch Sam Screen Shot

The Facebook integration is just the first step in the long promised big set of updates to the Monstrometer and the website. The next one you are gonna LOVE! We’re already working on it but it was time to start detecting Time Travellers!

Thanks for keeping on keeping on!

Seth

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Filed Under: Announcements Tagged With: Aliens, Angels, Cannibals, Cyborgs, Demons, Draconians, Facebook, Ghosts, Halloween, Humans, iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Leprechauns, Mermonsters, Monstrometer, Psychos, Sasquatch, Time Travellers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies

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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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