Seth On Survival

Supernatural Survival HQ

You are here: Home / Archives for Aliens

Aliens

Four Races of Aliens Among Us Says Ex-Minister of Defence

By Leave a Comment

Another former government agent is talking about aliens this week, Paul Hellyer, Canada’s former Minister of Defence turned writer/researcher of alien etiquette since 2005, says there are now four major species of aliens who have been visiting earth for thousands of years and that learning how to behave in the presence of each of them is important for your survival.

Former Defence Minister on alien etiquette
Former Defence Minister testifies about aliens and the etiquette he learned in his research.

“Just as children learn to survive the tooth fairy and Santa Claus when they become adult, I think that tax paying citizens are quite capable of accepting the broader reality that we live in a cosmos teaming with life of various sorts,” testified the former Minister of Defence who sadly did not elaborate on his Santa Claus Survival Strategy.

As an adult himself and former holder of one of the most powerful human titles on Earth, Paul Hellyer has spent the last ten years studying aliens and their etiquette. He attributes his own survival success to a guide book known as Millenial Hospitality 2 by Charles James Hall.  This second alien etiquette book in a series, chiefly treats encounters with a race of aliens known as the Tall Whites, pictured above.

Survival Tips From A Former Defence Minister, Part One:  Tall White Survival
  • First, ensure sure that you are not in fact dealing with an angel

With their glowing white jumpsuits, nylon boots and propensity for swimming through the desert air in a bubble of white light, Hellyer’s Tall Whites are often mistaken for angels and vice-versa. Millenial Hospitality invites you to visit your religious leader and get right with the belief system of your choice before approaching a Tall White, just in case you are actually dealing with an angel. 

  • Also ensure you are not just dealing with another tall skinny white human.

If your last three dates with tall blondes all turned out to be with the same girl only you didn’t realize it? This is not surprising but it is also not technically an alien encounter.

  • If you are in fact dealing with a Tall White alien, don’t run away. 

Running away from a Tall White alien is an invitation to vaporization. Stay very still and very quiet.

  • But don’t follow them either.

They don’t mean to lead you into the middle of the desert with no water but when you start following an alien, they treat it like a game. A game that you will lose, in part because you can’t bob along above the earth in a bubble of white light.

But if you do decide to follow, remember aliens prefer you to stay about 30 feet away from them at all times and if you prefer to remain unvaporized, you might want to do that.

  • If you do follow an alien, hang onto your hat. 

Not only will you need your hat to keep the sun off your head when the aliens abandon you in the middle of the desert, but if you lose your hat the aliens will just WASH it and return it to you in an unusual location for you to find later. Your hat will never be the same size or shape ever again. Aliens are terrible with human laundry but pretty good with the DNA they extract from objects like this.

  • Keep a log book of your departures and arrivals

We’re talking an old-fashioned pen and paper log book, every time you leave or arrive home. This way you’ll catch any missing time in your daily routines.

  • Learn to identify Horse Formation 

Aliens in a group float around in something called horse formation, that is with kids in the middle and adults floating protectively around the edges. This formation is meant to ensure group speed and safety for the kids. Never mess with a group of aliens in horse formation.

  • Look for the microwave pencil.

Tall Whites are curiously nostalgic. They carry microwave pencils to hypnotize you and scramble your memories. If you want to remember the experiments they performed on you, duck when you see that microwave pencil!

Either that or carry a Pizza Pop with you at all times to absorb the microwaves. Both effective and delicious!

  • Let them laugh at you. 

If you do succeed in remaining conscious for their experiments, the aliens may interrogate you. If so, don’t be surprised or offended when everything you say makes them laugh. And above all don’t make fun of the way that they laugh, which has been described as, “a series of whinnying, barking sounds.”

  • What’s your favourite star?

It sounds like a trick question because it is a trick question. Just remember, your favourite star is Arcturus. Trust me. Tall White aliens will always ask you. Be ready!

  • Who is Teacher’s Pet?

YOU ARE! Weird, I know. You’ll have to take my word for it. It’s code, straight out of the alien etiquette manual recommended by the former Defence Minister. If you say it with feeling, this can get you out of a tight spot with armed aliens. “Friend of the Teacher,” will also work but doesn’t have quite the same… je ne sais quoi. Which is I don’t know. I really don’t.

  • Offer to take them shopping.

I know it sounds crazy. A race that conquered time and space and aging and death just wants to go shopping? Don’t shoot the messenger! It’s right there on page 149 of the alien etiquette manual recommended by a former Minister of Defence! That’s one step down from a President so who am I to argue?

The theory is that lucky for you, white fluorescent jumpsuits and nylon go-go boots seem to get boring after a while, so you can increase your chances of surviving an alien encounter just by offering to take them shopping here on Earth.

Testifying hot on the heels of famous former alien-debunker-turned-alien-bunker USA Air Force Colonel Richard French who recently described spotting an alien craft hiding under the waves off the east coast, Paul Hellyer wishes to remind you,”Aliens are not an amorphous species and consequently they have different agendas.”

In other words what works with Tall Whites might backfire with the Short Grays and what helped Paul Hellyer survive as Defence Minister of the first G-8 country to admit the existence of aliens among us, may not work for you.

Do You Live In An Alien Zoo? Earth Day Quiz

By 6 Comments

Have a free-range Earth Day!
Have a free-range Earth Day!

Survivors if you like me, will spend Earth Day worrying about the likelihood of waking up in an alien zoo for the holiday amusement of alien families, read on!

Important research coming to you this week from famous astrophysicist and alien zoo expert Neil deGrasse Tyson can help you beat the odds and remain a free-range Earthling.

(Unless of course you’re ready for your golden cage!  In which case, you can use his research to find the best alien zoo for you.)

Alien Zoo expert Neil deGrasse Tyson has spoken often on his radio program SpaceTalk, about the likelihood of alien zookeepers curating Earthlings for an Earth Zoo.

Famous scientists describes how to avoid captivity in an alien zoo
Famous scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson thinks about alien zoos  – do you?

“If alien life is vastly more intelligent than us… then it’s possible we’re all just a zoo for these intelligent creatures,” he says. “And if they’re smart enough they can even construct a zoo so that we never even know we’re in one.”

Well fine, except you just told us Neil. We could have lived out our whole little lives in our little cages, never knowing about the aliens coming here on family vacations to poke us through the bars. But nooo… so now what?

First first things first you need to know for sure, if you are already living in an alien zoo or not. How can you tell?

5 SIGNS THAT YOU COULD BE LIVING IN AN ALIEN ZOO:

1. Have you ever done tricks to receive food?

Before you answer, think hard. Good zoo trainers normally select tricks that you probably already like to do anyway, that come naturally to you and then use food to motivate you to do them over and over again.

2. Is your cage environment getting dirty?

Even the best zoos and zoo keepers have difficulty monitoring and maintaining optimum environmental conditions for the animals. If you notice yours is off, this could be a sign that you too are already in a zoo. That, or you need to clean up your room. Or both.

3. Are you separated from opposite sex members of your species? Or the opposite, forced into situations where you have to mix and mingle with members of the opposite sex when you don’t feel like it?

 Zoos use a number of techniques to control the number of animals within. One of the most obvious is to simply separate male and female beings from each other and force them together later. 

4. Do you see groups of strangers staring at you?

It’s unusual – but not unheard of – to visit a zoo alone. Zoo goers normally come in groups, often on guided tours. And while I assume that alien zoo goers have some very clever camouflage, they still require safe transport and direction through the zoo to see you. You might notice arrows or maps posted around your living space. Me, I can’t help remembering the bus load of aliens who stopped by here earlier this year. Is Tikiria Ishiu running alien tours? Somebody better ask her for her license next time she stops by.

5. Do you suffer from stress, boredom or confinement?

Inadequate space is a problem in many zoos and an alien zoo would no different. 

If you answered YES to 3/5 of the questions above or more, consider it VERY LIKELY that you are in fact living in an alien zoo.

Now what? Stay tuned for How To Escape From An Alien Zoo…

Did Angel Aliens Save Russia From Meteor?

By Leave a Comment

An important debate taking place in Russia today, did a species of angel aliens save Russia from a deadly meteor last week?  Or is this the cover story of some pirate aliens who attacked the da14 bus?

Survivors here at SOS will recall the post-Valentine’s day events, when a giant meteor exploded over Chelyabinsk, on the very same day that meteor-ship da14 was scheduled to fly by Earth with passengers and cargo.

You may also recall on that same day how a busload of awkward alien tourists arrived on that ship with tour guide Tikiria Ishiu and stopped by SOS. If you don’t, please read about them here… or here’s another one of them named Eridan Empora…

Now the question I pose is this. Do any of these aliens seem like angels to you?

An SOS 99.98% true investigation in progress…

Was this an angel alien rescue? Or an attack on alien meteor ship da14?

Asteroid DA-14 Picks Up, Drops Off New V-alien-tines

By 1 Comment

With Asteroid da14 due to arrive in the next 48 hours, earthbound aliens around the globe have begun packing their bags and racing to sites in Australia and Indonesia for a chance to hitch a ride home  – making this your last chance to give that special alien in your life a V-alien-tine.

(Unsure if you or somebody you like could really be an alien? Scan them with The Monstrometer to find out for sure. Then read on.)

da14 Bus Arrives Friday

S-type asteroids like da14 serve as a radiation-proof shell for ISTC buses (Interstellar Transportation Corporation buses).

The da14 bus route orbits close enough to Earth to quietly pick up and drop off passengers and cargo, once a year, without all the fuss of landing.

This makes the movement of beings and goods both easier and safer plus the aliens don’t have to worry about parking and maintaining their own crafts with curious humans on the look out.

Aliens who leave earth aboard da14 will likely travel to the Oort Cloud Terminal at the edge of the solar system where they can catch a comet or a space craft to another destination, usually their home planet.

Save the planet – give a V-alien-tine

Most of these aliens are returning to their home planets with reports and recommendations about their time spent on here on Earth. The quality of these reports is then used by their respective species to determine how to proceed in their future relations with Earthlings.

And this year, the da14 bus just happens to be coming on Friday, right after Valentine’s Day.

That’s why, this year more than ever, if you have or know a nice alien, time to come clean and let that them know how you feel with a nice V-alien-tine before it’s too late. It won’t necessarily prevent them from returning with an Earth Obliteration Unit but it can’t hurt to try.

Er, unless you get too close. Do it for the planet! Just don’t get too close!

Remember Captain Mantell, First UFO Chaser

By 3 Comments

(SOS/WTF/ASAP) An important survival reminder this week from the example of flying ace and UFO chaser Captain Thomas F. Mantell. UFOs may look pretty cool but they are dangerous and should not be chased.

Captain Mantell UFO Chaser

Captain Mantell should know. He died chasing a UFO. Those who remember the captain kept his memory alive this week reminding others of his cautionary tale on TV.

The story goes like this. Thomas Mantell is a member of the Kentucky Air National Guard on January 7, 1948. A WWII flying ace. He is flying over Kentucky with three other Guard planes one afternoon when reports of an unidentified flying object come over the radio. A mysterious, metallic flying craft described as  extremely large, round and white in color with a red light toward it’s bottom.

(Remember, this incident happened mere months after the famous Roswell incidents when two UFOs allegedly crashed or were shot down, depending on whose version of events you believe.)

Captain Mantell spots the strange craft and initiates pursuit. The UFO responds by climbing up up, higher and higher into the air. And then it seems to slow down as if to let the captain catch up.

The captain continues to chase the UFO for 45 full minutes. “The object is directly ahead of and above me now, moving at about half my speed … I’m still climbing… trying to close in for a better look.”

These are Captain Mantell’s historic last words, uttered over the radio of his F-51 at 30,000 feet. Moments later he crashes to his death, still strapped into his seat.

Captain Mantell shot down by an alien

What causes the crash? The debate rages on. Lack of oxygen, some say. He passed out.

Others maintain that an alien pilot toyed with the captain, leading him on a high altitude chase before shooting him down, perhaps avenging his lost colleague shot down in the desert by humans.

However he died, the lesson is clear to everyone still working hard to keep the memory of Captain Montell alive. The UFO Survivors Society of Kentucky is asking survivors to honor the captain’s memory by not chasing any UFOs this week.

No matter how many M & Ms you have in your pocket. No matter how curious you are or how shiny awesome their technology appears, think of Captain Thomas Montell and just don’t do it.

Did This Man Bring Down UFO?

By 12 Comments

(SOS/ASAP/WTF) A controversial former UFO denier is finally coming clean. This retired Air Force Colonel, Richard French, finally admits his involvement in shooting down a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico.

But many aliens, including offended UFO pilots, are shooting down his story.

Man confesses to bringing down Roswell UFO with EMP. But is he talking trash? 

To summarize: Richard French said he was undergoing a test for the air force way back in 1947 when not one but two UFOs were spotted, within a few days of each other in Roswell, New Mexico. The first UFO was shot down by an experimental EMP weapon and a couple of days later, he says, another alien ship came around looking for the first one and also crashed.

Humans making fun of alien pilots?

French isn’t sure how the second UFO crashed, if it was also shot down or if it just experienced technical difficulties – but he is pretty sure why:

“We think that the reason they were in there at that time was to try and recover parts and any survivors of the first crash. I’m [referring to] the people from outer space — the guys whose UFO it was.”

Colonel French recalls seeing in photos that pieces of the downed ship had Arabic-style writing on it that looked like numbers.

Years later, in the fifties, Colonel French became part of Project Blue Book, his job to debunk UFO stories like the ones about the UFO crashes in Roswell.

“We gave our analysis and tried to debunk it by saying it was swamp fog or that the thing they saw was actually hanging on wires.”

So why the sudden change of heart? Read on…

Many insightful aliens including several here on this site whose comments you can read below, say Richard French’s story doesn’t fly. In fact, they are very offended.

UFO Pilots Association calls story provocative propaganda.

“What self-respecting UFO pilot – let alone TWO UFO pilots – could successfully navigate through space to this tiny, little blue planet, only to fall victim to scary 1940’s human technology. Think about it. We’re talking vacuum tubes and pocket calculators as big as gymnasiums. If I didn’t know better, I would say the humans are taunting us, trying to start a fight,” says one UFO Pilot.

As you will see in the comments below, his sentiments are clearly echoed by many survivors here. Is this retired Colonel talking trash in an effort to start that intergalactic war the economists have been asking for?

If so, he may have hit pay dirt on this one. Aliens are clearly irritated by this propaganda. There’s been a sudden and unexplained global onslaught of alien activity. Survival is currently over-run with reports from survivors are trickling in from around the globe.