In reports from Russia this week, Yeti is on the run yeti again this year from annual Day of the Yeti celebrations.
Russian scientists held a press conference in Moscow to mark the annual Yeti Day with the announcement of a new research expedition into the Shoria Mountains, reported home to a family of some 30-plus Yetis whose arrival in the area signals the beginning of ski season.
“We are close to finally finding the Abominable Snowman,” said Dr. Igor Burtsev. “We have found several key markers: bent branches, a footprint and a small sample of grey ‘hair’, found in a cave.”
The cave in question turned out to be the ski home of one known as Moscow Yeti “Eddie,” who was not very happy to hear the news today.
“Not again! First Boxer-Man and now Scientists?” groaned Eddie, referring to the fact that former Russian heavyweight champion Nikolai Valuyev showed up at his cave just the week before, looking to prove that he is the only real “Beast of the East.” (Luckily Eddie was not home.)
“Me should have known. ‘Day of Yeti’ my hairy a$%. Bah! Me just want to ski!”
In a press release the president of L.Y.A.N. or Leave Yeti Alone Now, Masha Lyubov is urging tourists – along with Yeti, Sasquatch and Bigfoot – to boycott all Day of the Yeti events in Russia and to Twitter public disapproval @KremlinRussia_E
“The Day of the Yeti is a cruel tradition that disrupts the lives of the innocent Yeti who come to the Shoria mountains expecting free lift tickets and end up hunted by scientiests and publicity-hungry television stars.”