“Humans see a new study and go all goo brain,”
-Gnargh Johnson, Zombie Actors Guild.
New statistical simulations done by Cornell University concludes humanity would be “largely doomed,” in the event of a full-scale zombie outbreak and offers the advice to get your zombie on fast or slow, by either a) heading to the Rocky mountains to see the very final stages or b) shamble downtown for a quick trip to your impending zombiehood.
But President of the Zombie Actors Guild Gnargh Johnson hopes humanity will take a very different message from these conclusions.
“Once again you humans see a study, and go all goo brained while missing the real point.
“What this study really shows is that if zombies like me really wanted to take out humanity, if we really wanted to destroy humanity… we would have done it by now!?”
“All we really want is some basic undead human rights. Like a decent dental plan.Is that too much to ask for in exchange for all the great films and TV we help you humans make?” added Gnargh before hanging up on me and reminding me that my dues are overdue.
Have to admit – Gnargh makes a good point here but a closer look at the Cornell study reveals some serious flaws in their parameters and zombie categories. You can have a look at their research here and decide for yourself.
Or join me in San Antonio, Texas on March 5 when the Cornell University researchers will present their full findings on the zombie apocalypse to the 2015 American Physical Society.
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
Weird
So seth this means it’s coming to new York too
Plus I live in new york
Hail WWG,
Thanks for keeping on and for checking that out.
Anyone in the NY area now should follow now and do the same. Your survival is guaranteed 99.98 per…
Or maybe not! Depends who is right…Gnargh or Cornell.
Seth
thxs seth for telling me about this
Wait so zombies could get to New York without Gov. officials noticing ❓ ?
Hail Orion Beard,
Thanks for your SOS message. ZAG zombies could in fact get to New York without being noticed by the gov– except for their tendency to always make gov meetings to present their latest zombie cultural economic impact studies.
Zombie actors are just that kind of High Functioning Undeads.
Keep on keeping on Survivor.
Seth
Good to know, but if zombies invade NY i’ll be moving to Florida or getting with my survival group/zombie survival group, just hope my family is okay I guess.
ima turn into a werezombie nooooooooooooooooooooo
…hmm is this the so-called mini-moon magic?
Was more expecting micro-humans or leprechauns or OH NO…
Serh…
what you mean seth
😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯
how do i change my profile pic ? i dont like this one. i have one of my own id like to use.
Hail Raidho,
Please do use your own avatar. The easiest way to do that is to create a gravatar…
Info about that can be found here.
Seth
*with a gasp of air RB jolts up from an opperating table, the room looks Verry medical and he has a distinct tast of metal in his mouth, he gets up off the table, hardly able to walk and checks his records. The paper reads Project Ark. He drops the board as he realizes what had happened. He had integrated himself with the cycle, effectively becomeing the new void, but somehow he was here. He walks out the room, but the hospital seems empty. As he attempts to walk out the front door, he realizes what he thought was the out side was a well painted panel, with little effort he pushes it down and discovers he isn’t on earth…*
RB