This full moon rises in a glaze of green glory, get ready for a great glut of greenstrosities geezunking into your night.
The Interwebs agree to disagree, tonight will rise the first green moon in over 400 years.
Does this really mean the moon will go green for a full 90 minutes at its highest point?
No. Not for those of us lacking the green gene. For us it will be a wild moon like all others in this April, the so-called cruelest month.
But also, yes! A growing gang of the green eyed kind, have laid claim to this moon so be prepared for these greenstrous gangs on the howl and the roam.
So arm yourself now! Know the top three greeners and how to defeat them tonight:
1. Green Werewolves
Always a threat, Green werewolves remain among the most dangerous lycanthropes due to the silver toxicity that gives their sick hue. In their constant fight to stay alive, they will do anything to remain in werewolf form. Reversal to human equals death.
Fortunately for you, a good supply of salty green snacks can keep them at bay. Chips, pretzels, wasabi peas… Load up your weapon of choice and fire away.
It’s the end of their season but they won’t go without a fight so hang onto your pants and your wallets tonight and beware the strange couches and chairs that remove them.
And forget the potato chip gun. For these guys you need some liquid green, so load the stinging lime and green peppers.
Aliens aren’t all green, it’s true. But those who are include many strange and slippery species and they will be out in full force tonight.
(If for no other reason than to take notes.)
These green visitors won’t go for your goodies though and they thrive in green slime but they hate bright lights. Almost any spectrum will do the trick, provided you shine it right into their eyes. So load up your phone with a few flashy possibilities before you go out tonight.
And may the green moonset find you keeping on keeping on.by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com