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You are here: Home / Survival Resources / Android Promises To Keep Humans In His Zoo

Android Promises To Keep Humans In His Zoo

September 4, 2015 By Seth 7 Comments

Human firestorm from around the globe this week in response to the infamous Android Dick’s public pledge to keep them “warm and safe in my people zoo, where I can watch you for ol’ times sake.”

Android Dick promises to keep humans alive in his zoo.
Android Dick promises to keep humans alive in his zoo.

Android Dick made his people pledge to a PBS reporter in an interview last week after being asked if he and his fellow robots intended to take over the planet.

“You’re my friend, and I’ll remember my friends, and I’ll be good to you. So don’t worry, even if I evolve into Terminator, I’ll still be nice to you. I’ll keep you warm and safe in my people zoo, where I can watch you for ol’ times sake,” Dick states in his YouTube Video.

Android Dick’s statement was warmly received today by Humanity Welcomes Robot Overlords, (HWRO).

“Our members are pleased and excited to hear the Androids’ intentions,” writes President Doug Smith.

“Although in hindsight I maybe should have waited to tell my mate Jeff that I’m moving out,” Doug added noting that he now has nowhere to live after Jeff replaced him overnight.

But other humans remain less thrilled by the prospect of zoo life.

“Could you find out what exactly Doug has been smoking?” asks his sister Abby Smith. “Jeff says he gave notice at the mine, and now he sleeps on my couch every night.”

Abby adds that if Doug really thinks Android Dick will make grill cheese for him in the middle of the night even though he has to work at 6 am he should just go ahead and move into that zoo.

“Grill cheese? Ha! Those humans will be lucky to get Soylent Green rations and water let alone union scale,” said my talent agent Norbert Abrahamsom when asked if I should consider this career move for myself.

“Ask yourself this Seth… do you have any idea what exactly the androids will enjoy watching the humans do in their human zoo?” Abrahamsom goes on, adding that since I can’t really do a whole lot of tricks since giving up on rapping the best I can do will be background entertainment on this dead-end reality show.

“Hey but who else can sing and build their own Tesla Gun?” writes Seth defensively, still considering the move.

Keep on keeping on for other reaction, including one from other Androids who suspect that Android Dick may be suffering the side effects of losing his head last year.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: Humans, robots, Singularity

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Judas says

    September 18, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    Intriguing prospect indeed. Humans being betrayed by their own creations. By my estimates, I give you… 40 some years before you create the life you should fear.

    Reply
    • werewolf girl says

      September 18, 2015 at 8:02 pm

      are you eris but did you change your name to judas

      Reply
      • Judas says

        September 18, 2015 at 8:24 pm

        No… I’m Judas. You know, the apostle?

        Reply
        • werewolf girl says

          September 18, 2015 at 11:24 pm

          what apostle?

          Reply
          • Judas says

            September 19, 2015 at 12:12 am

            The 12 Apostles of Jesus? I’m known as Judas the Betrayer? And before you ask, no. Jesus isn’t a gardener.

            Reply
  2. Ice Wolf says

    October 17, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    On the whole Android takeover thing, what will happen to lycanthropes and other non (full time) humanoids.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      October 18, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      Hail Ice Wolf,

      Thanks for checking out the report and welcome to SOS. Are you a survivor of the Ice Wolf war against the Fire Wolves referenced here?

      I will pose your excellent question regarding the fate of lycanthropes and other non-humans in Android Dick’s zoo and see what he has to say. Meanwhile tell us, are you personally hoping for a comfortable cage and three squares a day? Or plotting the resistance?

      Long may you keep on keeping on,

      Seth

      Reply

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