Wow my toaster just tweeted to remind me it’s the end of another seven days and by all accounts, somehow we appear to have survived.
Congrats to everyone who made it through another week out there. Your anti-singularity camouflage is already working. (Well everyone that is except for Agent R.B. still appears to be suffering from a bad case of the voidmunk flu.) I’m still going back through the pages to see who survived and how and why – so check back here whenever you can until around midnight EST Sunday.
(First I have to feed the toaster, it’s starting to get a little jiggy and I’m concerned he intends to burn down Survival HQ.)
But to start us off here’s an obvious one…
LOVE EVERYONE SUPERNATURALLY WEEK
–>>Go ahead and pick the kind of love you prefer but personally I recommend the kind of vague low-energy agape love over the higher intensity familial strains or ahem other varieties that actually involve a lot of tiring but admittedly fun physical interaction. Why today you ask? Well it must be Sunday because we appear to have a visit from a god, or at least from an old school patriarchs of the Christian pantheon. You know old Testament stuff. Just follow this link and you’ll see what I mean. Seems to be linked to the building of an arc that’s been going on around here.
–>> Unfortunately, it’s going to require a supernatural effort if the socio-biologist are right, which they always always are 100% of the time. Not counting those times a few women started running marathons and becoming doctors after they said THAT was impossible and well, then black men started running powerful countries which they also said was impossible… But otherwise everything they say is 100% true about regular humans. Lucky for me I don’t know many of these regular humans they study. Oh wait. Actually they studied chimps:
There is an upper limit to our tribal emotional expansion and that limit makes universal empathy impossible, declares one such study that you can read here if you really want.
–>>So if science is right, it’s going to take a few supernatural beings to get this ark business under control not to mention all those other apocalyptic problems currently in progress. Well, lucky for me, I know a quite a few supernatural beings…
SEEKING IMMORTALS
–>>A call from REAPER still working to defeat the stormy patriarch who has refuses to rest on these pages and has even somewhat enlisted LILITH to his efforts.
–>> Olly olly oxen free? Check with the HATTER on this one. I’m still scratching my head.
ZYBORAGON LIVES
–>> It must be spring cause the dragons are rising and ZYBORAGON lives. He checks in with proof of life This Week in Survival. But did he really find Forrest Fenn’s treasure? See what he says about that here. Oh to know the location of his secret lair….
–>> And how did THE REAPER get his scales for his armour? Or did he? Should he really be admitting to it if he did? I can’t think Z would like the idea…
Singularity Singles Out A Survivor
–>>Look who’s speaking in binary this week AGENT R.B. What is he saying? Read the HATTER’S translation here.
–>> And on that note is the Singularity old news? Read HATTER claims that I’m way behind, it actually happened 7 years ago.
Does Hades Owe You Money?
–>>KUROGANE with a warning for those thinking about making a deal with him. To those who already have a deal, don’t accept any more deliveries until we get to the bottom of this.
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
Seth you should know the so called singularity happened 7 years ago but humans like to say they are in control so despite it’s already happening humans still believe it is just around the corner, if any survivor questions this idea that I just put forth please reply
Hail Hatter,
Thanks for the news flash. I did not get the press release – which I suppose is not surprising since I was l living underground at the time. I blame my mom. You would have thought she would tell me. She didn’t have any difficulty telling me to move out and get a job, she might have mentioned it. Or for that matter, blame World of Warcraft. They have ingame mail, why didn’t they mention it.
Unless… WAIT. Was Blizzard involved somehow? What did the memo say?
Seth
Seth if it had actually gotten a press release that technology had taken over then that would imply that humanity excepted the fact that that which they trust was controlling them, thus meaning humans excepted the fact tech had taken over thus negating my comment that humanity likes to think they are in control.
Oh and to the dessert vagabond clothed boy who asked who he was/is *gives him the master copy of “the chronicles of the ark” which tells his tale as it was from start to current events* your name is Noah, and I am your friend hatter. I am written down as the mad hatter of wonderland,
I doubt that mister, just show me where I can can get something to eat so I can be on my way. I have a name but I’m pretty sure it’s not some thing as stupid as Noah. And btw who is this agent guys his a punt I’m use ing?
*sneezes and becomes covered with sand again*
Dang it…
Check your left cloak pocket, oh and I’m pretty sure I’m right about this, oh and agent RB is just the account you used because you wanted to look important to people reading your comments on this site. By the way if you don’t believe me as to who you are just look at the picture near your comments then compare it to the story on pages 1245 to 1398 in the chronicles of the ark labeled “the great flood and when the animals came in two’s” that should explain certain things any questions you have after that I can answer but any holes in my account can either be read in that book or filled in by the reaper
Ok mister but I’m pretty sur there is nothing in my… A pomigrante?
I hate Pommigranits…
I think I’d know f I flooded the world, I mean look at my powers, sand, like the opposite of water, the only thing I have in common with that guy is the word storm, sandstorm, rainstorm 2 totealy different things. Even I know that.
*walks away whispering, man there are some real crazies out here…*
*flings a bowler hat he made out of what looks like thin air and it expands into a cage that holds back the sandstorm* I am not crazy kid I am 903 years old an ex reaper and according to appearance only older than you by a full year so yeah listen to me or I swear I will make Ma’at wish it never let such an insolent and childish creature like you exist and be reborn
*hisses with the tounge of a snake as his fetuses shift to sepintine for a split second*
The crone gave me this…
I think you need it more than I do…
You obviously know something I don’t…
*tosses hatter a burned badge with the initials: RB*
*as the hatter picks up the badge that was thrown at him the badge cleans away the singes and reforges to say “RS” the hatter places the badge against his left shoulder and his clothes turn into a black cloak his top hat changing into a hood and his flesh flickering then revealing bone at his waist a leather satchel appears and a scythe appears in his right hand* actually kiddo you used to know more and I used to be a fugitive to reaper corps named “Richard D. Scales” then you just gave me a badge meaning I get the job I became a fugitive because I had. Bye now *disappears*
*acount
So kiddo any questions you have about who you were/are?
All of the above…
But, no offense, you seem a bit crazy so *takes bite of pomigrante from cloak* I’ll be on my way…
*Disappears in a sandstorm*
None taken kiddo, I am the MAD hatter, so being crazy is my trademark. Oh and please read the story at this URL: http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/middle-eastern-mythology.php?deity=NOAH that should clear certain things up about who you were
*his eyes turn to infernos*
This book tells me that Noah was the one to flood the world!
While this website says it was God!
Which is true!
I can assure you I’ve never seen a storm, all I am Is dry…
*his skin flickers to sand for a split second*
Leave me deceiver…
I am no deceiver kiddo, mortals wrote the story on the web, where as the universe itself wrote the book, and well mortals are less than the smartest creatures. You said it yourself before the rebirth “genocide humans are no more than a slave race it says so right here” if you mistrust me look three pages of this site back going along the latest survival news list then look near the bottom. I tried to save the memories you had but Hecate & Ma’at wouldn’t let me do it, I’m sorry kiddo but I’m telling the truth ask anyone.
*he begins to cry*
Why!
Why do you accuse me of these horrible acts!
I never did this to the world, and I never would!
Please do not torment me!
Do not blame me for what this man did!
I AM NOT NOAH!
*he falls to the ground and faints*
Correction kiddo you are no longer the Noah we once knew. I just wanted to make sure you got the fresh start he always wanted, you passed all my tests *changes back to mad hatter appearance* do you want a new name for your new start kiddo?
*he looks up*
Can…
Can you name me?
I would love to, but three problems 1) I know nothing about you 2) the best names I can come up with for you I used myself 3) if I name you it means you have to do what I say as your “parental figure” because of human laws.
Who is my parent then?
I will have them name me.
Also, what are laws?
Human laws state that if you name a child you have to take care of them until they turn 18, meaning that you have to do what I say until then because I would legally own you until then, kinda like how Seth should have moved out of his moms basement 6 years ago because he is now 24 and could have easily split an apartment with graham. Oh and since you kinda just blew in on a sandstorm you have no parents, so I guess I could make you part of the hatter family as an adopted member, just pick a first name for yourself because I’m really bad at that.
And what shall I go by untill then, I can’t be nameless…
How about I adopt you because you don’t really have parents and call you Daniel Hatter?
*Matrix descends upon him, in the form of the horseman. In this form, he is old. Late 70’s, early 80’s.* Hello child of the Ark. *His sickly steed lands beside the two.* I believe you are looking for your parents yes? Well, I am afraid you have no true parents. You were born of the snake and the Chrone. And as such, I have come to settle a deal. Long ago, in the Garden, Lilith was tricking Adam into eating the Apple, doing so brought sin to this world. G and I decided to fix that, our first resort, was Noah. A man with the power to flood the earth, he succeeded in destroying all but his family. G cast me out of Heaven for such an act, and now I walk alone. However, as such, I am your father. I will name you, you no longer Noah of Ark, you are Samuel of Rebirth! So says Matrix! *Thunder cracks over the desert and it begins to rain, a small downpour. Lightning flashes across the sky, and Matrix looks like a teenager again. Instead of the suit he was wearing, he’s back to his hoodie and jeans he then falls to the ground.*
Sounds good to me 🙂
Daniel, I like that…
But how about I go by Danny?
So, where can I sleep pops?
*he collapses to the ground, he had expended more power than his body could withstand*
*picks up Danny* well you can have the room across from mine kiddo, you earned it *disappears and reappears at his house in Toronto* remember survivors normal is overrated bye for now.
Hatter, I come upon you in the form of the Horseman! *Matrix appears between the two with a flash of lighting. An older version of Matrix sits astride a sickly pale horse.” I am the boys father! Or rather grandfather. You see many years ago, after Lilith the Serpent tricked Adam into eating the apple of knowledge, your father and I decided we needed to get a handle on the sin of Humanity. Our first attempt was Noah, a man powerful enough to destroy the world and all upon it. He did his job, but not with the intended results. G cast me out of heaven, and cursed Noah for all of his life. G then created you and your brother to attempt to finish what Noah started. Anyway, by all rights, this child of Abraham is mine.
*subconciously he whispers, I am no one’s*
*A serpent made from sand slithers out if his throught into the night*
I am sorry to tell this to you reaper but as I have named him under my surname of hatter, and being a son of G myself I am of G’s counsel the rightful parental figure to young daniel thus you cannot take him from me
I AM NO ONES!
*he yells*
*he dashes off in the form of a snake made of sand*
I BELONG TO NO ONE!
*he yells*
*he then slithers off into the distance in the form of a sand snake*
DANNY STOPPIT I was just trying to get the reaper to go away because he was writing a future for you I knew you didn’t want I was good friends with Noah and I want yo be a good friend of yours Danny just please come back, I promise things will be ok for you.
Oh and reaper if you know what is best for Danny please let him choose his own path until then I will take care of him when needed, and be the father he has no memory of having, I mean he is a serpent but remember that for Egyptians snakes could be good as well as bad, there was even a winged snake sacred to Ra (or Re)
Thats Noah’s screen name Penelope you dumb cat JUSST KIDDING UR NOT DUMB
Thats not RB Seth its Penelope his cat/laptop/scythe
* a flash a bang and a whiper cry as a sandstorm draws over the horizon, after the dust settles all that is left in the destruction is a small red headed boy about 13 years of age dressed in dessert vagabond clothing, he gets up slowly, in front of him is Hecate the crone, she slips him a URL and a login, and tells him all he needs to know is right here*
Who am I?
I didn’t steal his scales Seth, I merely found a metal scale that matched his DNA, and then I had the people down at the lab replicate it.
Also Seth, Blizzard is involved. Have you ever noticed that they make the most addicting games EVER? I mean, sheesh. Happy Wheels is also responsible. Just saying.
Also, quick survival question. If your microwave grows legs, and starts shooting lasers at you after placing hot pockets in it; what should I do? I’m still looking for my Sledgehammer.
How would you know if it matches my DNA if you don’t have any of my DNA to match it up with in the first place?
I believe you merely came upon a metal scale and assumed it was mine, or perhaps there is something you’d like to share?
As for your microwave, you must find a way to elimate the hot pockets that seemed to have possessed and manifested inside of it. I suggest a reflective surface such as a mirror to bounce the lasers back at the microwave, the radiation should overcook those vile “food” products.
Well, after the last void wars… The Reaper Corps decided to ‘borrow’ some DNA from you. In case you perished, and we required your knowledge of the creatures. And after your fall, weeell. We ended up experimenting a bit. We reverse engineered your metal to make weapons and scale armour. It was the councils choice, not mine.
You must get rid of everything that was replicated immediately or something even worse than another void war will be upon us.
Care to elaborate a little more then that Z?
Very well.
Imagine if the DNA they’re replicating my metal from falls into the wrong hands?
Imagine if someone gets power hungry or something goes wrong.
Even though the metal isn’t exact, it could still be extremely devastating, let’s also not forget how easily replication can turn into cloning, you remember my last clone Mutt, we don’t need a stronger version of that.
Agreed. Well let’s go blow up some stuff!
Regular bombs or dimensional spheres?
You pick.
I cannot allow that Mutt and Zyboragon. You see, we already have a small clone. Granted, it’s not strong yet. But, we placed it with a mother dragon. It should hatch in approximately… 2 hours, and once that happens, it’s growth will be exponential. To the point you were, when we gained your DNA. Then, it will age normally. Remember, this is all for the good of mankind.
I didn’t know that elimating all hope from humanity could be considered “good for mankind”.
Yet another case of someone playing with powers they don’t understand.
*Reapers eye twitches* I understand perfectly Z, I understand you fell, I understand we have a cold void war on the line, I understand desperate times call for desperate measures! It happened before you showed proof of Survival, don’t you get it? To survive, we needed a weapon. You were gone, and we needed a strong draconian working with us. You were the primary choice! WE CAN SAVE THE WORLD!
There’s so much I haven’t explained yet, and so little time to begin now.
You think that anything with my DNA, heck, a draconian nonetheless, would actually allow itself to be a controlled weapon?
All you’ve done is create something that will built by rage, that’s all it will ever know. Void Wars, ha!
You just started the first event of the apocalypse.
It’d be extremely humorous to watch your plan backfire and everything you have get destroyed, the only problem is that it’ll be too late to stop it at that point.
It’s funny you say the apocalypse, because, I am part of it. The Four Horseman ring a bell? Number 4 right here.
Well, this is certainly going to be fun.
Especially once you realize whose DNA you really gathered when I had “fallen”.
Mutt and Ice really won’t be happy though.
…. You have got to be kidding me… Tell me they haven’t cloned who I think they’ve cloned!
Well, someone had to fall so I could hide, someone that had aspects of my DNA. I figured I could remain hidden and remove your foe at the same time.
So yes, they cloned my clone.
Luckily, they won’t have a big metal dragon on their side. Unluckily, they’ll have a big angry gargoyle though.
Reaper, I am going to find every laboratory your kind has ever owned or created and obliterate it JUST ON PRINCIPLE!!!!!!
Wait… Are you saying… We have brought ARC back into the world…? 😯
It seems like it. Though I’m not sure if it will be entirely him, I destroyed his memory systems pretty badly in hopes this wouldn’t happen. Hopefully his backup files containing his alternate personalities got destroyed with him.
Is that what they repaired along with some viruses they found in his core mainframe…? 😆
That’s exactly what he said you nimrod! Now all you have to do is resurrect Zanthre and they can have a big ęvïl party with the Void lords!
Well, the good news is we haven’t found him yet! Although, we did accidentally release a leviathan.
Mutt, that name doesn’t exist anymore, among many others.
Like must congratulate you Reaper, not a single being before you made an enemy of me as quickly as you.
As a prize, I’ll give you a chance to consider surrendering your “weapon” to me, before I charge in and destroy it anyways.
Well, considering my choices, and the fact I was trying to clone you, not the evil clone ARC. I’ll surrender him to you. He is in a small cave just outside of Hong Kong. I would hurry though, we have… 2 minutes before he hatches, and I really don’t want that.
It pays to have a wormhole key that permits time travel.
*the boy stands before both the reaper and the hatter stroking a cat he just found in the woods*
This is my cat, I’m going to name her Penelope.
As for the both of you, I’ve barely a clue as to who I am, so you can’t expect me to choose between the two of you, hmm…
I’ve got It!
*he splits himself and the cat in two by turning into sand and reforming himself*
I’ll join back together in a couple of days, and whoever is a better parent for me in those days I will stay with.
*the children respectively go to both the hatter and the reaper*
Well I guess that solves that issue, so ah… Danny what do you like to do as well an activity? Better yet are you hunger? *makes table full of the best food ever appear*
Well, i enjoy…
im not quite sure, I’ve never done anything ever before so i have no idea.
😯
*his eyes dielate into a hypnotic trance*
but something inside me deep down says, says, I like watching people suffer.
Yeah that is the ideas the reaper put inside your head I would just eat some food and maybe play with some of the kids outside, I’m sorry I can’t talk with you maybe teach you a few things *takes out pocket watch looks at the time and puts the watch back oh and if you do go outside be back here at six o’clock for tea
Ok.
I’m going to go make some new friends 🙂
*he goes outside and starts talking to two men who look awfully a lot like A51 agents, after showing them what he can do with sand, they poke a needle into his arm, he faints and they abduct him and run out of sight.*
*Reaper and the boy appear in a nursing home.*
My methods may seem strange, Son of the Ark. But I believe you will enjoy this, there is no higher concentration of pain and suffering than here. *Reaper checks his watch*
Pardon me, I must take care of some business while here. Chat up the souls.
Ok.
I’m going to go make some new friends 🙂
*he goes into the pit of souls and starts talking to two men who look awfully a lot like A51 agents, after showing them what he can do with sand, they poke a needle into his arm, he faints and they abduct him and run out of sight.*
*Reaper came out 5 minutes later holding a soul gem and some rice pudding.*
Come boy, let’s head out.
*Reaper looks around, and doesn’t find him. He sniffs the air.* A51…
*Reapers horse appears from the sky, and he mounts it.*
*He bursts into Area 51, and starts hacking and slashing leaving one agent alive. He picks him up, he was shivering from fear*
A boy, your men brought him in… Where… *Reapers eyes glowed red*
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meow
meow
meow
Hey, at least I’m trying to find him! Speaking of which.
The Area 51 Agent: Washington! They are trying to get the war started! Don’t hurt me!
*Reaper smiled, but it was cruel and without compassion.*
I won’t hurt you…
*His form shifts, into a female wearing the same clothes Reaper was.*
But he makes no promise about me…
*The woman slices the Agents throat open, and then throws a lit match on his body. As she escapes using Reapers horse, Area 51 explodes.*
help us!
They keep calling me a reaper and a shimigami and are trying to get me to open the gates to the reaper world!
i have no idea what they are talking about!
Please they said they’ll hurt me if i don’t comply!
*The woman crashes through the ceiling of RB’s location.* Sorry to break up the party.
*She smiles as all the agents fall, and stop breathing. She kneels to the child, and brushes the hair out of his face.* Sorry you had to see that.
*She gives him a kiss on the forehead and walks out of the room. Moments and a flash of light later Reaper comes in, and checks to make sure RB is alright* Thank Zeus, you are alright. *He hands the boy the rice pudding and smiles kindly.*
*The woman crashes through the ceiling of RB’s location.* Sorry to break up the party.
*She smiles as all the agents fall, and stop breathing. She kneels to the child, and brushes the hair out of his face.* Sorry you had to see that.
*She gives him a kiss on the forehead and walks out of the room. Moments and a flash of light later Reaper comes in, and checks to make sure RB is alright* Thank Zeus, you are alright. *He hands the boy the rice pudding and smiles kindly.*
Thanks I guess but, um, I was just with hatter before they got me not you…
Oh don’t tell me you let your half of me get abducted too…
Do you have any idea where he might be?
I can feel him calling out for help…
He’s close
Real close
*appears next to Daniel after a door appears behind Daniel then disappears when the hatter arrives* sorry you got kidnapped Danny I didn’t think that area fifty one would be stupid enough to go near my house, and they were confusing you with another guy that I was good friends with when they kidnapped you.
oh and to the laptop who called me a bad parent I’m new to being a parent so yeah stuff it. Oh and this kid isn’t Noah “underworld” he is a completely different creature.
Take care of your own kid Janet.
*Reaper walks to the next room.*
Wow we have actually resorted to name calling, please notice that I appeared not next to “Samuel of rebirth” but next to “Danny” who you burst In on and took with you meaning you might be trying to find him it wasn’t necessary oh and by the way if you decide rescue through wrong aspect of him when I am fully capable again you will be thanatoast, oh and the name isn’t Janet it’s Janus
help us!
They keep calling me a reaper and a shimigami and are trying to get me to open the gates to the reaper world!
i have no idea what they are talking about!
Please they said they’ll hurt me if i don’t comply!