HOW TO IDENTIFY A GARGOYLE
With the whole world on the watch for 8 great gargoyles liberated from a basement lockdown facility in Worcester, Massachusetts on the Tetrad Moon and a nefarious plot still pending, your survival may depend on your ability to identify a gargoyle.
While not the most dangerous demonic entity you will face during your survival, gargoyles are almost always accompanied by and/or controlled by and/or protected by various other nasty underworldy types, so learning to spot one before one spots you is imperative.
Now a stone-stood gargoyle is easy enough to identity but the difficulty lies in the fact that gargoyles, once liberated from their stony pedestals on a church or government facade, regain a human-like form very quickly and over time the ability to shift back and forth on a dime, making it imperative that you familiarize yourself with both forms.
Four Signs of a Gargoyle in Human Form
1. Graying Skin:
–>> Look for grayish skin that appears cracked and aging close-up despite an outwardly youthful and vigorous appearance. Use the flashlight or zoom lens on your phone to check if you must, but be subtle. You don’t want them to catch you.
2. Supernaturally Still
–>> Like vampires, gargoyles can remain preternaturally still for long periods of time. That man who never changes position on the bus and never seems to fall over? Dead giveaway.
3. Weighs a Ton.
–>> Even in human form, gargoyles appear lean and hungry yet they still weigh a ton. Or 1.5 tons in the case of the missing 8 Worcester gargoyles to be exact. Now you can’t very well ask a suspected gargoyle to step on a scale but you can shake his or her hand. Feel the weight of it? It doesn’t look like a stone mitt so why does your shoulder hurts shaking it? Another telltale sign.
If you can’t get a handshake, carefully observe the surfaces beneath and around the suspected gargoyle for clues. Did the car sag unaccountably when he or she got into it? Did a sturdy chair break for no apparent reason? These are clues.
4. That Voice
–>> Listen for a gravelling wet voice with lots of phlegm. Gargoyles are supernaturally sensitive to the element of water. Not allergic exactly, and you can’t exactly describe it as their kyrptonite, but let’s say they hate it enough to want to spit it out. Which they often do, so watch out, they won’t hesitate, even in public. Which leads us to:
5. Strange Drinking Problem
–>>Because of the aforementioned sensitivity to water, Gargoyles will only drink out of earthen vessels. Ever see a human licking the side of a building? That’s a thirsty gargoyle who surrounded by paper and plastic cups. A stone water bottle hanging on a belt is also a dead giveaway.by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com