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Survival Resources

LEPRECHAUN TRICKSTER RELEASES JUICY NEW CLUE

March 16, 2015 By Seth 2 Comments

Will Treasure Hunters End Up “All Wet?”

Santa Fe leprechaun Forrest Fenn added a juicy new clue about the location of his treasure chest full of gold and jewels in time for St. Patrick’s day, but some think the trickster is playing games with the world and has either forgotten the location of his treasure or that it doesn’t exist at all.

To review, famous leprechaun Forrest Fenn claims to have hidden a treasure chest full of gold and treasure that includes his 17th century Spanish emerald ring, a ruby-studded bracelet, small diamonds and other items somewhere in Santa Fe. He released a book and poem full of clues about its location.

On the trail of Forrest Fenn’s treasure

Now a leprechaun losing his gold is not news. They do it all the time, everyone knows that. The only thing more common than a leprechaun lifting your pants or your shoes is a leprechaun looking for his lost loot.

(Rainbow power is the problem here. Rainbows provide for quick treasure teleportation but once a rainbow disappears  – and they disappear fast – it’s really hard to find the exact geo-coordinates again.)

While young leprechauns are learning to solve this problem with new technology, Mr. Fenn is an old school leprechaun. He leaves encrypted clues for himself in a poem and a book to help him remember where he buried it. It’s a traditional leprechaun trick, and like many traditional leprechauns, with time Mr. Forrest Fenn forgot what it all meant.

And this year Forrest has added a new clue to the mix and here it is: if you could stand on his treasure you would see mountains and trees and you would be “all wet.”

He claims that adding this juicy new clue to his previous 9 clues (see below) and reading his book will help you to find his million dollar treasure and that you can keep it.

But critics say you might just be leading the forgetful Mr. Fenn to his lost loot or even that the treasure doesn’t exist at all because Mr. Fenn is just playing a big trick on the world designed to sell his book.

This St. Patrick’s day, you can check out the hidden clues in Forrest Fenn’s poem below and decide for yourself if it’s worth the risk of getting “all wet.” If you decide to join the hunt, be sure and check behind you at all times for Forrest himself and carry a good supply of four leaf clovers. And er, don’t start by calling all the homes of people named “Brown,” in the Santa Fe area. Trust me, they hate that!

Forrest Fenn lost his loot again – will he really let you keep it?

As I have gone alone in there
And with my treasures bold,
I can keep my secret where,
And hint of riches new and old. 

Begin it where warm waters halt
And take it in the canyon down,
Not far, but too far to walk.
Put in below the home of Brown.

From there it’s no place for the meek,
The end is drawing ever nigh;
There’ll be no paddle up your creek,
Just heavy loads and water high.

If you’ve been wise and found the blaze,
Look quickly down, your quest to cease
But tarry scant with marvel gaze,
Just take the chest and go in peace.

So why is it that I must go
And leave my trove for all to seek?
The answers I already know
I’ve done it tired, and now I’m weak

So hear me all and listen good,
Your effort will be worth the cold.
If you are brave and in the wood
I give you title to the gold.

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: candy monsters, Leprechauns

Zombie Actors Guild Hails Cornell Research

March 1, 2015 By Seth 15 Comments

“Humans see a new study and go all goo brain,”

-Gnargh Johnson, Zombie Actors Guild.

New statistical simulations done by Cornell University concludes humanity would be “largely doomed,” in the event of a full-scale zombie outbreak and offers the advice to get your zombie on fast or slow, by either a) heading to the Rocky mountains to see the very final stages or b) shamble downtown for a quick trip to your impending zombiehood.

But President of the Zombie Actors Guild Gnargh Johnson hopes humanity will take a very different message from these conclusions.

“Once again you humans see a study, and go all goo brained while missing the real point.

Head for the hills to be the last human!
Head for the hills to be the last human!

“What this study really shows is that if  zombies like me really wanted to take out humanity, if we really wanted to destroy humanity… we would have done it by now!?”

“All we really want is some basic undead human rights. Like a decent dental plan.Is that too much to ask for in exchange for all the great films and TV we help you humans make?” added Gnargh before hanging up on me and reminding me that my dues are overdue.

Have to admit – Gnargh makes a good point  here but a closer look at the Cornell study reveals some serious flaws in their parameters and zombie categories. You can have a look at their research here and decide for yourself.

Or join me in San Antonio, Texas on March 5 when the Cornell University researchers will present their full findings on the zombie apocalypse to the 2015 American Physical Society.

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: zombie, zombie apocalypse

V-Day Friday One Three Alert: PSYCHO STALKER STORM

February 13, 2015 By Seth 1 Comment

EXPECT PSYCHO STALKER SQUALL

(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Get out of bed if you dare today, it’s the most most dread day of the year… you know… Valentine’s Day. I mean Friday the 13th. Part V.

Of course I don’t mean part five of one of my favourite movie franchises, which would in fact be scary awesome as opposed to the real scarifrying prospect of a Friday One-Three right before Valentine’s Day. Not one but two unlucky holidays devoted to psycho stalkers, back to back, each amplifying the effect of the other.

Let’s review. St. Valentine’s Day, more accurately known as STALKER DAY, remains the second scariest holiday founded on a grisly public execution that we celebrate. It was actually St. Valentine himself, imprisoned for his heinous crime of marrying young people, who first discovered the obsessive love that still marks the day. The kind of love that can only lead to anonymous flower deliveries, bad poetry, suspicious chocolates, dead pets and/or endless legal wrangling.

At least that’s what everybody brought St. Valentine in prison. Dude was a sitting duck for every love struck loon within pilgrammaging distance of his prison cell. And back then-a-days the logistics of stalking were daunting. Your average stalker had to first train his own snail to deliver his unwanted mail and/or ride for days on end with a load powertools and roses that usually died enroute.

Contrast that to today, when anyone with a valid pay card and a reliable internet connection can become a dangerous stalker with a few clicks and taps lapses in higher judgement and higher emotion. At a time when it has become so easy for anyone to unleash their inner stalker, your life may depend on stalker-proofing this Valentine’s Day. I’m
not saying all stalkers are killers. Some of them are just people hired to refill shelves at night. Some of them are just Graham.

But keep in mind the corollary, a high percentage of serial killers are in fact or were at one time, stalkers. That’s why I urge you today to review FRIDAY ONE-THREE V RULES FOR STALKER SELF DEFENCE.

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: Friday the 13th, Psychos, Stalkers, Valentine's Day

SOS Doppelgänger Day Danger Deja You

February 6, 2015 By Seth 173 Comments

WHAT REALLY GOES DOWN WHEN THE DOUBLE DAY DAWNS

Whether you call them clones, evil twins or something more gangsta like doppelganger, this is the day to avoid – or do I mean face? them. Doppleganger Day is the result of a rigorous scientific calculation to determine the day of most double danger for you.  So don’t be caught on clone feet by your double dude. Be on the lookout for others who look too much like you today.*

*WARNING: REQUIRES YOU TO KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK!

While this sounds self-evident ~ easier said than done. How much do you really see yourself in that mirror afterall? I’m not just being philosophical here. That spinach between my teeth in my third video should be proof enough but did you ever show baby photos and ask a friend guess which one is you and wonder why they couldn’t?

Exactly! So today of all days, get a good hard look at yourself before you go out and stumble on your deja you.

Why? Because no matter what your doppelganger dogma, the copy around clones colliding on this day is never calming. Consider the following four fortunes:

1. One of You Must Die 

EvilTwin-sm

It goes like this. When you meet your Other, one of you must die, right there, on the spot. Without further ado, a doppleganger duel to the death must ensue, following the rules of the road. No extraneous conversation outside cap-worthy comments about how alike you really are or that you could have been friends…

2.You Will Die In 48 hours

(Full Disclosure: my personal belief.)

On the Day of the Doppleganger, any physical contact between doubles will result in a slow 48- hour death for the one whose world in which the encounter took place ie: this one.

That’s right certain death within 48 hours. “Certain,” that is unless… Unless what? Well that depends on the situation. But should you find yourself facing a 48-hours unless-death, you might want to spend the next 48 hours trying to figure that out.

On the bright side there usually IS one unless… 

Unless there isn’t.

3. Your Entire World Will End

We’re talking not just dead here. We’re talking erased from existence and all memory. So how does anyone even know about this happens? Just trust me. It’s a fact. And a nasty one at that.

4. You Go For Coffee With Someone Almost As Fascinating As You. 

Oh it sounds like a great outcome, I know. And if your doppleganger diary runs this way then lucky for you. But don’t blame me if it reads like mine….

...then he wouldn’t stop talking… and talking and talking, not even when I started pointing to my imaginary watch then signing up at FakeAngryGirlfriendTexts.com. Dude just loves to hear the sound of his own voice. I know, I know it IS a great voice….

So please Survivors, tomorrow more than ever, watch the spehelling on the site. And if you’re wondering WHY be sure and check out this helpy survival video on this timely topic here.

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: clones, doppelganger, doppelganger day, evil twin

Have You Entered A Parallel Universe?

January 23, 2015 By Seth 2 Comments

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP
Three Signs From Science

Vibrating this week, the world of physics on a new theory of Many Intersecting Worlds, which is just like it sounds, namely the probability that many worlds could be colliding with the one you know as reality, at all times.

Previous to this, physicists thought other worlds existed

ManyWorldsIntersectOurOwnparallel to each other but that they never interacted. Now thanks to new research done in part by a physicist named Howard Wiseman in Brisbane, Australia, they are beginning to admit the possibility that many worlds could be exerting unknown forces on each other simultaneously.

As Wiseman said: “The idea of [human] interactions with other universes is no longer pure fantasy.”

Here at SOS we’ve known for years that Many Intersecting Worlds or MIWs are not just possible but in fact very likely. And dangerous! We’ve all woken up on the wrong side of the bed to discover there is in fact, no bed.

But new this week is some signs from science itself to help us think about the possibility that we may have inadvertently ended up in an alternate dimension.

So how can you tell if you’ve taken a wrong fork and ended up in an alternate reality? Let’s see what a Wiseman says that might help:

“In MIWs, all possibilities are realized, says Wiseman. “In some universes the dinosaur-killing asteroid missed Earth. In others, Australia was colonised by the Portuguese.”

So, three questions to ask yourself are:

1. Have You Made A Life-Changing Decision Lately? 

When all possible worlds intellect, taking a major life decision could trigger or indeed create possible intersections of opposite possibilities to each other. Should you find yourself in a world on the other side both familiar and yet completely the opposite of what you intended, this could be an indication you have inadvertently stepped into its opposite world.

You need to recall the possibility you faced and the life decision that brought you to this point to find out where you took a wrong step.

Which leads me to:

2. Is This World The Opposite of What You Intended?

Opposite worlds are paradoxically nearest to each other while simultaneously exerting a strong repulsive force to each other, says Wiseman. This opens the possibility of each major decision you make actually presenting the opposite path!

So don’t get sucked into a repulsive opposite world! Your first steps immediately following any life decision should be taken very, very carefully lest you find yourself inadvertently on the opposite world path. Know your true intentions! Check carefully to make sure you aren’t secretly fostering an opposite intention.In fact, better yet,

3. Look Before You Leap

Knowing now the danger of an opposite intention world of your intention that will unfold right beside your true path might enable you to see down it before you take those all important first steps.

Until scientists can work the exact math that will enable us to do this on our devices, don’t let that stop you from trying to see where that opposite world path may be lying in wait. Preferably before you find yourself riding off into the polar ice on a dingo or stuck on a mountain top when you were just trying to get to that party you didn’t really want to attend.

So stay alert to all possibilities survivor, and you’ll keep on keeping on out there, on whichever path you find yourself.

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: many intersecting worlds, parallel universes

Strange Matter Discovered In Universe

January 15, 2015 By Seth 37 Comments

IS THIS THE NATURE OF SHAPE SHIFTING?

A strange new form of matter discovered in the universe this week confirms what SOS readers have long known, there is more to heaven and earth than dreamt of in your philosophy…

Science Discovers Strange Matter
Science Discovers Strange Matter

Science has discovered a new type of matter they are calling “Strange Matter” at the heart of a neutron star.

It appears to be a liquid form of compressed subatomic particles, even more dense than dark matter.

This discovery means that ordinary matter can be squeezed so intensely that it forms an entirely new, unstudied kind of matter, confirms Dr. Pedro Moraes of Brazil who helped discover it this week.

The new form of matter is entirely unstudied and its properties still unknown, but it could just look just like ordinary matter and have the ability to form physical objects, scientists speculate.

Here at SOS we wonder could this explain the nature of shape shifters?

And if so, at the considerable risk of alienating the shiftiest survivors lurking here on the pages – on under desk or in my closet for all I know! – will they have to stop calling themselves SUPER-natural? 

Keep on keeping on to find out.

This SOS post in progress…

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: Shapeshifters

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Hail Survivors!

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