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3 Siberian Portals Makes Dragon Breath Believers

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Three is the magic number when it comes to dieties, wishes and now mysterious portals in the ice as two more portals are revealed this week in Siberia. Does this pattern validate the controversial “Dragon Breath” theory?

Craters caused by Dragons Breath?
Craters caused by Dragons Breath?

The new portals, discovered by reindeer herders who almost fell into them, have locals and scientists alike more mystified than ever.

“It is not like this is the work of men, but also doesn’t look like a natural formation,” reported the Siberian Times.

At this point no cause is being ruled out and the theories still circulating include meteorites, stray missiles, aliens and underground gas explosions.

Whatever their origin, supernatural survivologists continue to warn about imminent THING DANGER that would result from the Things known to emerge from these frozen portals in the presence of the researchers who travel to study them.

But a new theory today points to the pattern among the three perfectly formed portals to identify an even more unusual cause – Dragons Breath.

The controversial Dragons Breath theory breaking here on the website dailykos, is put forward by a scientist named Dr. Box who describes the craters as Dragons Breath spikes.

Speaking with eyewitnesses and Dragons Breath survivors, Dr. Box says these craters appeared with a flash of light and a plume of smoke indicating Dragons Breath.

If so, these craters could be the work of a very powerful dragon waking up after a very long sleep and therianthropic Things may be the least of our worries.

How do you defend against Dragons Breath? Keep on keeping on for that.

Meet the Polish Priest Who Texts With Satan

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Is there a textoricist in the house because Satan has officially entered the 21st century,  sending evil spam with his phone. Priest Claims Hate Texts Are From Demon Spirit

If you’ve ever received an unwanted text message on your mobile device, this supernatural news from a Polish priest engaged in a supernatural text war with Satan this week is for you.

Father Marian Rajchel began receiving hate messages from a demon that he believes to be Satan himself on his phone after a failed exorcism on a teen, reports the Austrian Times this week.

“Often the owners of mobile phones are not even aware they are being used like this,” he stated. “However in this case it is clear.

The father began receiving hate messages from a demon that he believes to be Satan himself on his phone after a failed exorcism on a teen, reports the Austrian Times this week.

Now spam is always evil in my books, but take it from this Polish priest, Satan himself could be behind those text messages. But how can you tell if a demon like Satan is spamming you? Read on to learn the supernatural signs.

Top 4 Signs Satan is Spamming You

1. Excellent spelling, grammar

Possibly it’s Satan’s well-known pride or perhaps a supernaturally good spellchecker, but when Satan messages you it will be completely without shortcuts.

That’s right expect no LOLs or puking happy faces from this demon, in fact not a single contraction mars his messages to the good Father. No, Satan’s messages read more like, “Shut up preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher.”

2. Perfect Punctuation

Again maybe because Satan is new to using digital technology, he does not subscribe to any modern ideas about punctuation. The text messages received by Father Rajchel are perfectly punctuated.

In particular, Satan’s correct use of the apostrophe is a dead giveaway. Whose really able to use those right anymore?

Satan, thats’ who….

3. His Number Contains telltale digits

Look for repeating numbers, especially 666. Yes I know, it’s a debatable clue with diverse interpretations, but when a demon picks a number, he or she is just like everybody else, looking for something easy to remember.

4. Unwanted Attachments

Although not reported by the Polish priest in regards to his current text chat with Satan, it’s always good to be aware that spammers in general, a supernatural spammers in particular are prone to forwarding unwanted attachments so don’t click on them, whatever you do.  Take the example of pop singing demon digger Ariana Grande and just delete any suspicious files.

If you do happen to receive a text message from Satan or any other demonic entity, above all, do not reply. At least until you can locate a qualified textorcist with supernaturally fast thumbs.

Which is entirely possible here on SOS, so keep on keeping on…

SOS Hindu Gods Rising Midlife Crisis or Demon War?

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News from an unexpected pantheon this week, the normally implacable, peaceful Hindu gods have been witnessed in serious training, buffing up and developing new powers for an unknown onslaught against the forces of darkness and/or aging. RamaSlayingDemons

According to the Wall Street Journal, dark changes have been witnessed in the Hindu gods of late as this artist’s rendering reflects —>>>

For decades this peaceful pantheon has focused mainly on keeping calm, meditative watch on tourists to India but now it appears this epoch is at an end, as gods like Rama prepare to wage an unknown war.

Of particular concern to god watchers at the Wall Street Journal is the god Rama, who appears to have donned his old armour and resurrected his army of vanaras, or deadly supernatural monkeys and bears.

“I should have known something was going on when Rama replaced his or topknot with those dreadlocks and started training at night with Lord Krishna,” says Sita, Rama’s wife. “But I just thought he was having a midlife crisis. After centuries of smiling for tourists, I figured he just needed a break. You know before we married he lived alone in the forest and fought demons almost every day. ”

Sita thinks he might be training to defeat Ravana the demon king once and for all.

Rama traded in his topknot for dreadlocks and armour lately.
Rama traded in his topknot for dreadlocks and armour lately.

“He never quite forgave Ravana for kidnapping me that time. Rama could be out for his final revenge.”

However many god observers speculate there may be something bigger at play.

“You know something bad is coming when the Hindu gods rise up,” stated renowned supernatural survivologist Dr. Dominicus Von Buren. “Historically they work well with other pantheons of gods and goddesses. I wouldn’t be surprised if this has a global effort of epic proportions.”

This Week In Survival July 27, 2014

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Between creepy dolls and underworld portals, the Dog Days continue to heat up This Week In Survival around the world, supernaturally speaking.

Visit thereaperstips.com before you go red water rafting.
Visit thereaperstips.com before you go red water rafting.

First up, thanks to REAPER for posting his report on yet another underworld portal that opened up this week, this time a river of blood in China. It’s the mysterious second portal to open in as many weeks. But before you plan a red water rafting trip, be sure to read REAPERS TIPS HERE …

Then check back here as we go back through the week’s pages to investigate who’s still surviving, supernaturally at SOS. Thanks to everyone who contributed their supernatural reports and research to SOS this week.

Wwwaiting for Fenrir…

–>> WWGIRL hoping to receive his mark. Anyone with a 20 on this famous WW is encouraged to report. Or did she receive it already? Will it appear on the full moon?

–>> REAPER on the other hand looking for help removing one. Any WWs schooled in the  successful removing of marks is encouraged to report. Did LEAFPOOL’s incantation help? And if so will there be a price?

–>> Anyone with further information about the secretive world of werewolf marks and/or curses is urged to report here or HERE. I promise not to tell anyone except the 30,000 visitors and spambots who come to SOS everyday.

Curses by Lilith…

–>> Ask for one HERE at your own risk. What will happen to WWGIRL if she accepts one?

–>> Will she help LEAFPOOL find WW origins? If so what will be the 5 favours the spirits demand? All due respect to Lilith but this doesn’t look good.

Reaper’s Recruiting…

–>> With his interns busy in China, REAPER recruiting to face Morgenstern and Ice. There’s a blood debt from history involved here. Let’s see if I can get some details….

Lost Magic…

–>> ASSANJIN a draconian from the Emerald Isle with a mystery. MORGENSTERN has a theory about his lost magic. Is it something to do with his unusual scales?

Lost Sister

–>> KUROGANE checking in to report his sister AKA is missing. Does it have anything to do with the Kitsune Yakuza?

Creepy Dolls Left On Curbs For 8 Girls Mystery Continues

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When creepy dolls showed up on the curb outside the homes of eight girls, a California community feared the worst and the mystery continues as the maker of the dolls claims she meant it as a “kindly” gift.

Creepy dolls left on girls' doorsteps
Creepy dolls left on girls’ doorsteps

Eight elaborate dolls designed to resemble each of the eight girls appeared on their doorsteps in the middle of the night with no notes or message in San Clemente, California this week.

The girls, all ten years-old and all friends who attend the same church cannot be identified for their safety but photos of the dolls, shown here, have been widely distributed online.

Police investigating the incident have identified a neighbour they describe as a kindly old lady, who categorically denies being a witch and claims that her intentions were good.

But the supernatural survivology community today is asking the obvious question, can a creepy doll delivered anonymously at night ever be truly good? Even if the non-witch in question has good intentions? And what should you do if you wake up to find a creepy doll that looks like you on your doorstep?

Leaving aside the distinct possibility these dolls could be demon-possessed like the doll discarded on a curb in Singapore earlier this month, the tradition of old non-witch women and creepy dolls has a terrifying tradition that’s worth remembering.

Okay sure, the famous American Voodoo queen and Catholic non-witch Marie Laveau was known to use her dolls for good, as carriers of charms that could allegedly cure illness, grant desires and destroy enemies. Not to mention the fastest way for her to receive pound cake from the grateful people she helped. Marie Laveau continues to receive more visitors to her graveside in New Orleans than Elvis.

But not even an avowed non-witch can deny the Hoodoo trail of bad juju delivered by creepy toys just like this one. Hoodoo healing and luck comes at a price that goes far beyond pound cake and the destruction of ones’ enemies is always a messy business.

So if you receive a doll that looks strangely like you on your doorstep, what should you do?

How to Deal with a Doppleganger Doorstep Doll

1. Do not bring the doll into your home 

In fact, don’t even touch it. Toss a white sheet or plastic box over it and then call the authorities immediately.

In the San Clemente doll case, the eight families involved did the right thing by alerting the police – and the world – immediately.

2. Find out who delivered the doll and exactly why

Even if the doll came from a non-witch neighbour, it’s not enough to know that his or her intentions were, quote unquote, kindly. Kindly TO WHOM and WHY are the obvious follow-up questions that were never asked in San Clemente. If these dolls delivered a spell to restore health or wealth or luck to somebody, it’s highly probable these girls were NOT the intended recipients of said health or wealth but rather the raw material to be spiritually sapped for the benefit of a third party.

And if the doll carries a destruction of enemies spell? Clearly all bets are off. Who doesn’t have enemies?

But demanding to know who paid for the doll delivery might tell you who wants you off the team or out of the show – or it might not. Non-witches are nothing if not discreet about their clients and will be unlikely to divulge the details.

3. Inspect the doll for telltale talismans  

The doll will bear certain magicked objects that can reveal the recipient of the magic. These talismans can be anything from hair and fingernails to beads and jewels to articles of clothing. They may be sewn into the doll’s clothing or part of the doll itself so you’ll need to examine every inch of the doll, including any objects that came with it, as in this creepy doll case, the mouse slippers and a fluffy bunny companion.

GrisgrisIn the past, such talismans would be contained in a so called gris-gris, or leather bag like this one, but as the world got wise, witches became much craftier.

Oh and don’t forget to wear protective gloves and eyewear as you inspect the doll, even if you do suspect a witch and not a demon and there’s likely no immediate threat to looking the doll square in the eyes.

3. Demand the dolls’ removal

Yes even if you believe the doll was not sent to sap you of your health, wealth or power. If the original recipient won’t take it away, contact your city and inquire about possessed toy collection programs. Although often operated by a third party, most cities will have one.

4.  Above all, do not attempt to bury, behead, blindfold or re-gift the doll

If there’s anything we learned last week from the Singapore possessed doll case or the California beheaded doll discovery, it’s that passing the problem on to somebody else is supernaturally irresponsible. While it may protect you temporarily, you may only be delaying the effect of the doll on your life and the lives of others.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please read about these cases here.

And please, keep on keeping on!

 

No Silver Bullet for Werewolf Breath

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While not nearly as bad as zombie breath, a dogged mouth odour that lingers long after morning is one of the earliest and most reliable warning signs of lycanthropy so it comes as no surprise that breath-mint companies would clamour to cash in on the condition.

Cashing in on werewolf breath.
Cashing in on werewolf breath.

But whether you are a werewolf yourself or just friends with one, please beware of their supernatural claims there is no real silver bullet for werewolf breath here.

I received a box of these mints as a gift for review from an anonymous sender on the Dog Days moon, along with a note informing me that these so-called silver bullet mints could be used to cure lycanthropy – or at least the concomitant buccal conditions associated with it.

Now nobody wishes more than I do that any being could just bite a minty candy bullet to cure unwanted werewolf mutagens, but the science here does not support it.

Despite their grayish color, these mints contain absolutely no real edible silver whatsoever and while this may be good news for any werewolves who have unwittingly accepted such a mint from a friend, it renders this candy completely ineffective for full moon protection.

They do contain a certain amount of sucrose and artificial mint flavour to provide temporary relief from wolf breath during the dog days but the only kind of werewolf who would be sidelined by these mints is a diabetic one.

So go ahead and enjoy them. I’ll be the first to admit the reusable metal box is handy, and looks awesome, but don’t count on the mints to ward off a real werewolf, even if the werewolf is you. Especially if the werewolf is you. Review the many werewolf survival tips you’ll find here on SOS and at yourlupinelife.com instead.

 

Seth