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You are here: Home / 2013 / Archives for October 2013

Archives for October 2013

Spook Spotting 101.7 Haunted Doll House

October 31, 2013 By Seth 154 Comments

If you have a sulky spectre in your house tonight, it’s time to check on that old doll house –  there’s a good chance that it is haunted by a child ghost.

Jen Spectacular has learned to live with her haunted doll house.
Jen Spectacular has learned to live with her haunted doll house.

I’m talking about that old, unused doll house stored away somewhere in your house. If you have one, or suspect that you have one in your house tonight, please take a minute away from your busy Halloween activities, preferably at or around midnight when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest, to do a proper ghost check.

If done properly, in the dark, in silence, you will likely locate the haunted doll house at the heart of your ghost problem.

Dealing with a child ghost is never easy.  Adult ghosts are more communicative and persistent. They’ll tell you what’s bothering them and how to help them fix it with a little blood on the walls and/or some morse code cupboard slamming in the middle of the night.

(And if you don’t like the blood? Well studies show if you leave them cherry pie sometimes they will use that instead. Although if they have a long message, you have to leave a lot of cherry pie.)

But child ghosts? Now that’s another matter. Children who die before the age of 6 or 7 often don’t even know they have died. And unless somebody shepherds them to safety on the other side, they just hang out doing what they love best –  playing with their old toys. Now what happens when that house is cleaned out – say because a child was murdered in it! – and all of the ghost kids’ toys are taken away and burned?

Yah, angry kid ghost who really wants his/her toys back. So fast forward to your family and that forgotten dollhouse somebody outgrew. Did you store it properly? I think not. Do you even know where it is? If you don’t, your child ghost does, guaranteed. You need to know. Child ghosts do not play nice.

Proper Ghost Check 101.7: Haunted Doll House

 You will need:

  • A friend or colleague. Never go spook spotting alone. Unless your only choice is an enemy. In which case, go alone. 
  • Map or at least have a general idea of possible old dollhouse storage locations
  • Quiet shoes. Child ghosts are easily spooked and their footfalls are quieter than adult ghosts. You need to be able to hear them.
  • A small flashlight. Only for use in cases of emergency.

If you do find that haunted doll house in your house, you might be tempted to destroy it – but that would be the worst thing you could do. It will only make the child ghost angrier.

Instead, I recommend setting it up in a convenient location for further observation. By observing and carefully documenting the child ghosts’ play over time, you should be able to figure out  roughly what happened and find the clues you need to help them into the light once and for all.

(Or at least find out if Cloe will finally let Yasmin try her skateboard but only if she promises to stay on the roof.)

And of course send us an SOS message if you can.

 

 

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Ghosts

Reaper School Field Trip to Football Game True Survivor Story

October 29, 2013 By Seth 62 Comments

This just in – disturbing True Survivor Report from the HATTER (M.T.) documenting his recent brush with a reaper school on a field trip to an English football game.

SOS report from The Hatter, a reaper school on a field trip.
SOS report from The Hatter, a reaper school on a field trip.

While the details are still coming in below, the photos speak for themselves. A school of reapers showed up at the Chelsea vs. Manchester game on Sunday, arriving early to claim a very specific row of seats.

Understandably their appearance caused quite a commotion among the fans who no doubt understand the appearance of a reaper school on a field trip can mean only one of two things. Either:

1. An educational field trip to demonstrate and practice a particular reaper skill, in this case, one would suspect something like the art of the public reap. Or:

2. A diverting field trip in which the students are encouraged to relax, let loose and forget about harvesting souls for a few hours.

In either case, a very dangerous situation. If it’s just a fun field trip, do you really want to see how reapers let loose on their down time?

Yeah I know our resident REAPER here at SOS favours popcorn and a movie – but do we really know what he does with that popcorn? Do you know how many deaths are attributed to popcorn annually? So-called “popcorn deaths?” Personally I now suspect something far more sinister.

Reaper candidate fails public reap
Reaper candidate fails first public reap

And if it’s an educational field trip, ask yourself this. Do you really want to be seated near an ongoing demonstration on How to Perform a Public Reap Undetected? What if this happens to be test day? How many times will each candidate be evaluated? And how many victims would be required to properly assess every one of them?

One thing is clear, this candidate (left) clearly received an “F” grade for this reap. Not only is his victim aware of his approach, but as the Hatter points out, everyone in the stands has been alerted. That Reaper could have very quickly been reaped himself by any number of supernatural operatives.

Or for that matter, any number of other more mundane ways, from a nasty fall on a stray drink can to a mob of angry fans unable to see over his hood.

Stay tuned for more c-reapy details…

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: reaper, The Hatter, True Survivor Report

This Week In Survival October 25, 2013

October 25, 2013 By Seth 45 Comments

Ah Halloween! With supernatural forces already marshalling their troops for the big night, everybody is planning their disguise. If you haven’t planned yours yet, remember my number one rule for effective Halloween costume construction – try not to look so much like you. Sure you might think it’s fun to let loose your lycanthropy on Halloween but there are two reasons that you shouldn’t:

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!
Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!

1. Candy Collection – Study after study has shown an inverse relationship between the similarity of your costume to you and the amount of candy you can cop from any individual donor. Capisce? (<—LESS CANDY.) Do I even need to remind you of the well-documented survival benefits of candy? If so, just recall the lady who lived for 7 weeks on just one bag of candy in the middle of the Nevada desert. Think about that as you make your rounds. That pillow case or plastic pumpkin could feed your entire family for the duration of the apocalypse.

2. Supernatural Surveillance – With the veil between worlds at its thinnest, supernatural forces  – and the forces who oppose them – are out in full. Those who aren’t spoiling for a fight, are taking notes for later. And even if you personally are up for wrestling with a leprechaun, do you really want to give reliable intel to a possible enforcement agent?  If the answer is no, then remember how our ancestors did it. Make sure that your costume is:

  • Very not like you
  • Smelly. Yes, I mean that. Our ancestors favoured rotting cabbage leaves. On the heads of their babies. I urge you follow suit.
  • Warm.

Keep that in mind Survivors. Now it’s time to document who survived this week and how, before Halloween takes its toll.

Survival Ration Redistribution or No Survival Ration Redistribution? Do you collect the candy or not? 

–>> CHAOS claims he has no idea what I’m talking about… should I explain it to him? Or is this a species thing?

Chuffed up Chupacabra?

–>> Anyone want an autograph? Seems like HATTER and MR. MUTT do er I mean don’t. Why does he think he’s a hero anyway? And is it wrong to say you’re one? What if you really are one?

Dream Amulets from the Druid

–>> A royal visit from BELLADONNA… this is no dreamcation. When will I receive her royal journal? Find out if you want your dream amulet, and trust me you do. You mark the spot on your body that you want it just before going to bed and when you wake up? It’s there. How long do they work anyway? You want to check this out!

Area 51 Alert & Imposter Seth: 

–>> This doesn’t look good. MR. MUTT & KZAZ & REAPER teaming up to figure it out — but who’s making the me impersonations here? I mean, it’s not the worst advice – but still! I don’t look like that…

Troll Soup Cure

–>> Ever use it? FENRIR has an interesting use for it here but what is it anyway?

Hades Not So Hot? 

–>> A startling claim by SCARLETT. Let’s get to the bottom of this…

–> How did the HATTER escape it anyway? Will he explain?

How Do You Eat Your Candy?

–>> With the wrapper ON like TOOTHLESS?   That’s gonna make for a messy Halloween. Are you prone to this? Be prepared before you end up plastinated…

Mystery Girl

–>> Is seeing ghosts. Anyone want to say hi and help solve a MYSTERY? 

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Halloween, This Week In Survival

Alien vs Crab Demon? Abduction Case Mystery Continues

October 23, 2013 By Seth Leave a Comment

When Calvin Parker Jr. (18) was attacked by three leathery-skin creatures with giant crab-like claws who levitated him and his fishing buddy aboard a strange craft to examine him with a floating eyeball, the whole world jumped to what seemed like the obvious conclusion – alien abduction.

In fact, Calvin’s story helped put Pascagoula Miss. on the map, making it a destination for UFO enthusiasts and alien fans from all over the world for a long time.

Was he abducted by a crab demon instead of an alien?
Was Calvin Parker abducted by a crab demons or aliens?

But Calvin himself didn’t like to talk about it much after that. In fact he spent the next 40 years on the run from his story and all the alien lovers who wanted him to tell it again and again. Even though he passed a lie-detector test, he never wanted to talk about it.

“By the time you get somewhere and they figure out who you were, I’d just go,” he said. “I’d just go find another job somewhere.”

Why?

Recently Calvin has admitted that he thinks the world might have got it all wrong. That he wasn’t visited by aliens at all. That in fact he was visited by demons.

How could he think that? Well consider the facts and judge for yourself:

 

The world thought it was aliens but Calvin later thought it was demons.
The world thought Calvin was abducted by aliens but Calvin thinks it could have been demons.

The Case for Crab Demons:

1.      Calvin and his friend were fishing at the time. Crab demons have been spotted by fishermen around the world, particularly in Japan where some believe them to be the drowned spirits of Samurai warriors sent to their untimely deaths by a child emperor.

2.    Western demonologists report that a legion of crab demons is in fact commanded by some major demon lords. Although Calvin doesn’t mention any fireballs in his famous report, these demons are also known for detachable eyeballs and interest in human abductions.

3.     To this day, Calvin battles a fiery red rash on his body everywhere the claws touched him.

“I’m a firm believer in God and where there’s good, there’s bad,” Parker said, referring to the possibility of an encounter with demons.

The Case for Aliens: 

1.      The incident began with swooping blue lights from the sky and a zipping noise, not from the water or below the earth.

2.      The creatures’ crab claws, although red, seemed almost robotic and cyborg-like.

3.     The abduction involved a thorough examination that demonstrated a high degree of curiosity above all else, alien style.

“They gave a thorough, I mean a thorough, examination to me just like any doctor would,” Calvin Parker said over and over again to police.

So which is it? Aliens or demons?

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Aliens, Demons, New

Hunter Moon Survivor of the Month 2013

October 20, 2013 By Seth 330 Comments

Well it’s official. The SOTM curse-prize continues for one more month, at least.

Who will it be?
Who will it be? Read the clues

Read the clues, coming below and see if you know. the lucky victim  I mean Survivor of the Month. Most of all though, thanks to everyone who contributed to SOS this month. Without you there would be no survival. Especially now when I’m trying to update The Monstrometer and finish some new videos, I appreciate everything you contribute to SOS.

To new survivors: the SOTM curse began as a fun prize awarded after the full moon to thank survivors who a) survived and b) helped out around the site sharing their supernatural survival news and views, along with best survival tips and tricks and/or general survivyness. Because SOS is a volunteer venture, I rely on SOTM survivors to help out around the site so we started Survivor of the Month to give a small thank-you prize and summary story to one such survivor. What we didn’t realize, is that sometimes it is a curse. For mysterious reasons, the SOTM prize seems to sometimes cause the winners to disappear under mysterious circumstances.

We’re still trying to get to the bottom of that small matter – but meanwhile, let the party continue! 

Hunter Moon Survivor of the Month 2013

The Reaper

1. This survivor is a dedicated professional who doesn’t exactly enjoy his job but remains committed to its kindly and timely execution.

2. He favours a cheerful summer uniform like THIS for work even during the busy dark season.

3. Has been known to apply his skills to skunk eradication in exchange for THIS.  At least for Mary. Unfortunately, if you do call him for pest control, be prepared for THIS. 

4. Once lent a very important tool to a demigod on the site who used it as THIS.

5. Once played in a metal band called Death On The Highway. Unsubstantiated reports <– his own,  indicate they were quote, big in the 40s after receiving assistance from this ghost.

6. Presumably the name of the band was inspired by the sad incident that brought him to his supernatural employment. A summary of it may be read HERE. Or at least it could be if I could find the link. To summarize, it involves an ugly car accident and a dead do best friend, the first soul he had to reap.

7. Was instrumental in helping us all decode the Sentinel Cycle and how to survive it, despite the fact it would have actually made his work a lot easier. Which is pretty generous if you think about it.

8. He hides in the shadows, ninja-style and has THIS  form for longer trips.

9. Has a few angel friends including Raphael because of THIS. What school was that again?

10. Sleeps in THIS when he’s on the road working.

11. Spent a brief time dead after his job assigned him to a certain werewolf.

12. Has an eternal soft spot for dogs which means if you do make a sandwich deal with him, be sure to not let THIS happen.

If you haven’t guessed it by now, then you haven’t followed the links. Of course I’m talking about THE REAPER. Sure, he might have to collect your soul someday or maybe the soul of your dog but until then, hey he has a helpy list of tips to help you survive an encounter with him so check it out http://thereaperstips.wordpress.com:

The Reaper has a blog
The Reaper has a blog

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Survivor of the Month

Hunter Moon Eclipse

October 18, 2013 By Seth 32 Comments

Hunter moon eclipse
Hunter moon eclipse survival party

The hunter moon rises again tonight in the wake of a long lunar eclipse that caused all moonlight fuelled activities to cease, and allowed shadowy beings with shadowy agendas into the night, creating one of the most dangerous full moons of the year. Or almost certainly in the top 12 anyway.

On the bright side, if you’re  surviving check back here for some cheery summaries of the midnight mayhem. We’ll check in on survivors with some colorful links in no particular order and maybe an exciting full moon announcement, who knows.

Will the curse continue and be passed on to another (un)lucky survivor? Check back here to find out…

On the Hunter Moon the Hunter Becomes the Hunted…

–>> So is HUNTER a hunted on the hunt? What or who is he hunting exactly this moon? On the Hunter Moon don’t click on this link at your peril.

Minotaur Defeat Report

–>> Find out how the DEMIGOD did it and why. Or not. Will he tell?

When Is Your Moon?

–>> Good explation here from VELANKO explains the difference between genetic and bitten werewolves, using 85% fewer words than any explanation I ever gave.

Anyone Know How to Re-cork a Sword Spirit? 

–>> Update on the malevolent spirit of KZAZ’s sword in progress… left with a cursed butterknife it seems the Contali is fading fast. MR. MUTT comes in with some time mojo here. Did he succeed in re-bottling her?

Warning for WWs

–>> I hate to link to myself here but…. okay that’s a lie. I love to link to myself. And in this case, I think it’s warranted.  WWs who go around threatening people i.e.: me like WOLFBLOOD here need to learn an important lesson in supernatural survivology…

Battle on the River Lethe

–>>SCARLETT and the REAPER … what in Hades is going on  here?

Delivery for Whom?

–>>Who is sending wraiths by UPS and why? Did  URBAN SQUATCH deliver a malevolent package on the lunar eclipse?

Demon Lore

–>> HATTER claims this is an effective demon repellent.  Is he madder than a hatter afterall? And where can a survivor get one of his handy hats? See what they do HERE

Proofs of Life

–>> Therianthrope VENOMTONGUE & WW MOONSONG checking in to say they still survive. Let’s see who else…

Reapers Day Off

–>> What does a REAPER do on his day off anyway? HINT: it involves popcorn. Why is he leaving this night to the hunters?

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: hunter moon, Werewolves

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I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

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