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You are here: Home / 2013 / Archives for April 2013

Archives for April 2013

Wild Moon Super Survivor – In The Eye of Rainstorm

April 26, 2013 By Seth 11 Comments

Wild Moon Survivor of the Month Clues: 

Rainstorm

1. Well it’s official, the Survivor of the Month is a werewolf again! A bitten werewolf to be exact.

2. This survivor, like many before, suffers from debilitating muffinitis.

3. This survivor is leader of a very unique pack.

Okay the clues this month were pretty vague, I’m the first to admit, but hey there was a lot going on. It was an epic month for a couple of survivors but with a roll of the virtual dice, we have a winner. If you guessed RAINSTORM, you guessed right.

In the Eye of Rainstorm

Rainstorm

Try being in my fur…

It takes a real Survivor to enlist the help of others to win an epic battle. It takes a Super Survivor to find new ways to help others on their own quests at the same time. Rainstorm, the Wild Moon Survivor of the Month managed to do just that.

Rainstorm dropped by the site on the new moon to report about her pack, the Sapphire Pack. It’s a pretty new pack, they roam the Sapphire Forest which must be a truly awesome forest because apparently it’s full of jewels, providing you know where to look. And Rainstorm and her pack, they know where to look. It’s said they have a substantial hoard in a secret place in that forest. Needless to say, I’m searching for this forest as we speak, but all my attempts to trick Rainstorm into giving away the location so far have fallen on deaf ears.

(Good Internet security Rainstorm, too bad for me! Don’t think I’m giving up though.)

All of this makes me think Rainstorm must be a kind of Dragon Wolf. We don’t know for sure, because she has not divulged her attacker, but consider this fact – Rainstorm has wings. Are they shadow wings or light wings or flesh and blood? When do they appear? These are still open questions but maybe someday there will be a report.

Rainstorm suffered from an acute case of muffinitis this moon, which led to one particularly bad week on the site in which she threatened to kill anyone and everyone, effectively crashing the moderation filter (PLEASE NOTE: none of these comments were entered in the draw LOL!). She was almost killed after a mysterious gift of silver bracelets almost killed her. In the fallout from that she was suspended from school. Did she wolf out and attack a classmate? By all appearances she may have done.

Not long after, her arch-nemesis Snowfall tracked her down on SOS.

Snowfall, it seems, is a white werewolf and a former member of her pack with a grudge. The details of this grudge remain a little vague, something about an angel and a baby but one thing is clear – it took almost all the survivors on the site to defeat Snowfall.

And still in the middle of all this, Rainstorm found ways to help others survive, for instance helping to heal Rustpelt, by bringing him a vial of vampire blood to strengthen him in his fight. Of course, Rustpelt helped her right back which is why Rainstorm nominated him for Survivor of the Month.

( But that’s not how Survivor of the Month works at present. It’s just a random draw where each of your helpful, fun, descriptive, creative or entertaining comments or questions or suggestions or descriptions or observations are one “ticket.” Sometimes the winner only made a few comments and got lucky or sometimes the winner got a lot of tickets, that’s how random works.)

In any event, thanks to everyone who contributed to survived the Wild Moon with us this month, including Rainstorm. If she hasn’t been busted by a wolf cop you might catch her on the site one day again. Feel free to say “hi” and ask her a question – like, can we have a map showing the location of the Sapphire Forrest please? 

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Survivor of the Month

Of Money and Mermish – The Mermaid Tail Trade

April 26, 2013 By Seth Leave a Comment

A grisly TAIL this week from Garden Street, USA a seven year-old girl on a desperate quest to become a mermaid tries to buy a mermaid tail, and reveals the murky underwater world of the mermaid tail transplant trade.

Can you buy Mermishness?
Should you buy a mermaid tale?

Residents of Garden Street woke up to this note on a street pole from a 7 year-old mermaid wannabe who thought she could swim, walk and babysit her way to achieving her dream of becoming a mermaid by buying a mermaid tale transplant.

The Internet reacted immediately. What kind of sick seven year old wants an amputated mermaid tail?

Is high unemployment and the current Hire-A-Mermaid craze making an underwater trade in black market mermaid tail transplants?

“What are we supposed to do,” said one girl who admitted she is saving up for a mermaid tail transplant too. “Times are tough and mermaids get all the good jobs now.”

I immediately alerted Mermaids for Hire about the situation, only to discover the dark truth about this company. They employ several mermaids who themselves bought a transplanted tail to make the transformation from human to mermaid.

According to mermaid Linden Wolbert, a mermaid tail sells for around 15,000 dollars. She sent me this shocking photo of a mermaid tail transplant in progress:

Mermaid Tail Transplant in Progress
Grisly Mermaid Tail Transplant in Progress

If you know any mermaids or you are one yourself, don’t let this happen to you!
Keep that tale under wraps! Do not reveal your Mermish status to people you don’t know.
Beware of anyone with an open drink, who could be a tail hunter. Why else would he be wandering around with an uncovered drink in hand?
In fact, avoid any social situations where liquid is likely to fly! Remember just a single drop in at the wrong time can find you flopping in the middle of the party.
Please alert the site if you see any suspicious activity in your neighbourhood.
Do NOT be fooled into becoming a so-called tail donor. This is not minor surgery here. Your tail will NOT grow back. In fact, you will find yourself without human legs when you transform back to human form.

 

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: mermaids, Mermonsters

Wild Moon Survival

April 24, 2013 By Seth 31 Comments

Who will it be?
Who will be the newest Super Survivor?

As the wild moon rises tonight I have 10 free play promo codes for the game Zombie Apocalypse: Survival School Edition for 10 lucky survivors. The game is from survivor Marc, programmer and trusted friend of the site. He is still convinced that proper use of cauliflower can save your life from zombies. Try his game for free and see if you agree. I guarantee that it’s fun and completely free – even if I’m not quite convinced about the efficacy of cauliflower as an improvised weapon. Point is, if you get an email with a code in it from me, please don’t worry, the game is free, no strings attached. If you don’t have an iOS device, you can pay it forward to somebody else.

(BTW, a big thanks to everyone who picked up Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf for iPad already. The other versions are almost ready.)

AND of course we are rolling out the Survivor of the Month. Meanwhile check out:

  • Firefang on the lunar eclipse! Does this explain the demon wolf reports?
  • Forecast is calling for two possible new WWs: ?wolf (whose name will now forever appear in pink to remind me that she is not a dude) and Devorah who has been battling demon wolves with her hockey stick. Must be the eclipse. Will they become shadow wolves now? I sure hope not but they do seem to be wolfing out…
  • Who is this Slash dude they are fighting?
  • New theory from RYAN about Forrest Fenn’s gold and the meaning of “home of Brown” & “blaze.” 

And do you know the true history of the Wild Werewolves? If not, read the new article from the WWs at yourlupinelife.

WILD MOON SURVIVOR OF THE MONTH CLUES: 

1. Well it’s official, the Survivor of the Month is a werewolf again! A bitten werewolf to be exact.

2. This survivor, like many before, suffers from debilitating muffinitis.

3. This survivor is leader of a very unique pack.

That’s all the clues for now. More clues tomorrow night. Stop by if you survive the eclipse.

Howling wild moon photo by Wolf Boy!
Howling wild moon photo by Wolf Boy!

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Survivor of the Month

Three Million Strong Still Keeping On Keeping On!

April 22, 2013 By Seth 20 Comments

Hail Survivors!

Alex does it again.
Alex does it again.

Well here we are, some 1096 days after SOS began, welcoming our 3 millionth survivor. The counter rolled over in the middle of the night here so I’m still trying to figure out all the details but one thing is clear in mine emailz today – ALEX showed up right on schedule – er, sort of – to scoop up a million man prize with this screenshot —>

(Not his fastest work, I agree but hey, it was the middle of the night. Plus, Alex IS getting old. All that time travel takes its toll.)

There may be more but so far he’s the closest shot to 3 million. So thanks Alex for keeping on. I feel like I should deliver this your third prize, in person this time. Hmmm…yeah! And then I’ll scan you. Cause I’m pretty sure you’re a threat, I just don’t know what kind anymore!

(Joke. Check thine emailz on the full moon.)

(But I am still coming to scan you. Soon. Ish.)

And thanks to everyone for keeping on and for your well wishes. As you may have noticed, survival can be pretty tough when you’re only a human, so monster thanks to all you super supernatural beasts and beings who help keep us all alive against the odds.

We’ll celebrate our unlikely survival on the full moon, Thursday April 25. There’s a lot to celebrate about this month. The three million mark plus the launch of the first SOS Interactive Adventure: Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf and of course the next Survivor of the Month. Who will it be?

Thanks to everyone who has stopped by SOS in the last 3 million. You keep me keeping on.

Seth

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Survivor of the Month

This Week In Survival April 20, 2013

April 20, 2013 By Seth 4 Comments

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!
Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!

*** UPDATED! ***

Anyone see a time-travelling cow this week? Because this week went supernaturally fast and Wolf Boy appears to have a cow on his head. I hate that when you get a cow on your head. Has he checked for grass growing out of scalp?

But if you didn’t wake up in an alien zoo or fall down a Plutonion Pit or get stuck working out your latest survival report this week, congrats! I hope you will check back here over the weekend and weigh in on the week that was here at SOS. If you are currently experiencing a desperate survival situation, say a time travelling cow sitting on your head or something (<–Wolf Boy)  please stand by….

*Who is MICHAEL again and what is he doing in a tornado exactly? Trying to get to the bottom of this one…

*Okay  how did RUSTPELT become SCARHEART exactly? Still piecing together the grisly details… He’s just out of the werewolf hospital and being chased by a demon wolf which figures owing to the proliferation of Plutonion Pits on the planet at present. What should he do? 

*What’s up with all the were-baiters? Were-wannabes trying to make you angry possibly so they can get a bite by the next full moon?Is this what’s happening with Blackmoon or  Scarheart? Marney thinks yes. Know your clan’s policy before trying your teeth on a twerp…

*Can you become a werewolf safely? Maggwolf wants to know. Here’s my answer NEVER! But you might disagree. Thanks to Blackmoon for answering…

*Mermaid or mermonster? What’s the right word? A debate going on. Meanwhile  OCEAN, a suspected mermish wonders if you can’t hold your breath very long and you don’t have scales, can you still be a mermaid? What say you?

*The ? still remains. Is ?wolf a Wild Wolf or not? The wild moon is coming up. She’s sure got the were-rage. Why’s he growling at everyone? Wonder what will happen?  (Hopefully no cows will sit on her head.)

*If you thought it was easy being a VAMPIRE LORD, think again! Lord Harkon sends an SOS. What gives?

*Human-angel bit by a vampire Arminella is back. What’s going on now? This was a report I missed in January! Is it too late to help? Will I have to roll the survivor count back by one? Yeesh!

*New WW on the site, Marney, having a shifting shift. Is her lycanthropy in remission? Does lycanthropy go into remission? Or are her powers being deliberately surpressed by somebody or something?

* Oh well at least Wolf Boy’s head is no longer being sat on BY A COW… er I hope. Or is it? Why did a cow sit on his head anyway? Will we ever find out?

New Demigod on the site, Daughter of Zeus is in trouble with her step-mom Hera. Any words of encouragement or advice for her?

Another new survivor on the site werecat is in need of some help and advice about their newly discovered werecattiness.

Shu wants some help becoming a werewolf but doesn’t want to do a spell. Don’t forget the SOS official no biting policy!

Stay tuned, more soon. Ish.

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: This Week In Survival

Do Zombies Really Need A Camp to Survive Encounters With Adults?

April 19, 2013 By Seth 1 Comment

As an aficionado of survival camps around the world, from the Ghost Ship Tour to Fairy School to Alien Abduction Boot Camp, I have to say it takes a lot for a camp to get my attention these days, but this poster in my neighbourhood recently did just that – finally a camp that teaches zombies to survive encounters with adults!

Encounters with adults can be terrifying to anyone under the age of 45. Take it from me. I used to believe the ability to hang out with and converse easily with unrelated adults would magically arrive on my 20th birthday. Suddenly I would have the voice of Don LaFontaine and a handshake so epic the entire universe would line up to shake my hands. Both of them. Twice. Naya’s mom and dad would suddenly be so impressed, they would try to adopt me until I had to explain that was creepy. Unfortunately, that never happened. Probably because, unlike the shadowy zombies depicted on this poster here, I did not have an ADULT SURVIVAL COURSE…

Adult Survival is never easy but it's an essential skill, even for zombies
Adult Survival is never easy but it’s an essential skill, even for zombies

I’m not saying that I necessarily endorse the use of these tactics by zombies against adults. I’m not sure it’s the best way to promote our mutual survival and most adults are pretty human really and trying their best. I’m just saying how nice that somebody in my neighbourhood is thinking about helping out the zombies. I think Zyboragon would be pleased. If he hadn’t lost his eyes.

You so have to be a little worried about the ALL MEALS INCLUDED business…. what exactly will they be serving… braaaaaiins?

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: inventive zombies

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I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

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