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You are here: Home / 2013 / Archives for January 2013

Archives for January 2013

Survivor of the Month Loki

January 28, 2013 By Seth 4 Comments

“Never Moon A Werewolf”

Loki, Ice Moon Survivor of the Month

Loki Ice Moon Survivor of the Month

Wise words indeed, from the latest Survivor of the one Month, one quite new to SOS, Loki the Wild Wolf. After all, what does happen if you moon a werewolf? Worse, what if you moon a werewolf on a full moon? Does it trigger an unwanted transformation either way? We don’t know for sure, but I intend to take Loki’s advice, and not try it.

(Although I can’t guarantee it won’t happen by accident if there’s a leprechaun around. You know how they are.)

Loki has contributed this advice and much more since her arrival on the site some two months ago. Like many, she came here hoping for confirmation of her lycanthropic status. You could understand her confusion, since some named Loki are chaotic Norse demigods, like Half Breed. (Fun fact: Half Breed can trace his heritage back to Loki.)

But it quickly became clear that Loki is likely named in the tradition of Norse demigods because of one particular Norse demigod – Fenrir, the wolf who had werewolf children by a witch. A really tall one. So is Loki very tall in human form? We don’t know.

We do know that she is 100% Wild Werewolf and as a result she has a witch friend. I’m not sure why wild-weres and witches make such good friends. Maybe it has something to do with the “Ws” or maybe it’s the fact that witches and wild-weres both do some powerful things with plants. One thing we know for sure though, Loki’s friend has turned at least one unsuspecting being into a toad already – so don’t get on her bad side.

(I still would like to know who that toad really is, Loki! I think you should get to the bottom of it with your friend.)

But we do know that Loki’s lycanthropy gene was likely passed down by her grandfather. Loki’s mysterious Opa is blind, but Loki began to notice that he could see the moon. Which led her to the amazing discovery that he was a werewolf who had been blinded during a fight in wolf form and consequently now in human form could only see by moonlight. A very important safety point here for werewolves. As you probably know, with some species of werewolf, the eyes are the only part doesn’t change. In some species this means a human with wolf eyes. In others, it means a wolf with human eyes. Point is, if you are a werewolf and you don’t want to end up like Loki’s Opa, you need to protect your eyes at all times. Most other injuries will heal between transformations, but not injuries to the eyes. An excellent reminder from Loki and her grandfather.

(Will we ever know the details of the fight where her Opa lost his sight? Maybe he will tell us someday. Could be very important to Loki’s survival and that of others.)

(Also makes me wonder, would a magic moonlight lamp help Loki’s Opa? I’ll have to ask that Blue Werewolf someday if they ever stop in again. They have a way of collecting blue moonlight and using it for cool stuff.)

But if she doesn’t ask her friend to turn you into a toad, Loki will be a great ally on the site. Ask LycanProtector. When he was having a problem with a time traveler killing him in his past, Loki came with him through the portal to fight. Since LycanProtector is thankfully still with us, we can assume that they won. For now, anyway!

(Who was this angry Time Traveler anyway? Why did they want to kill LycanP? I hope somebody tells in the comments below.)

Loki is quick to say “HI!” or ask a much-appreciated good question. Just don’t call her a “him” *oops* and don’t leave her alone with your cinnamon apple muffins! So feel free to say “HI” back to Loki or ask her a good question of your own. She won’t bite. Far from it. In fact she will remind you about the no-bite policy – also much appreciated. Thanks Loki! You are an exemplary Survivor of the Month.

Long may you keep on keeping on!

Seth

(Who now asks belated questions in blue italics until further notice.)

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Loki, Survivor of the Month

Survivor of the Month – Ice Moon 2013

January 26, 2013 By Seth 25 Comments

Well the Ice Moon came and went. Can you believe we survived another one? More or less anyway. Some more, some less. There’s still lots of unanswered questions here on the site. It will take me all week to sort it out for This Week In Survival.

Who will it be?

But tonight I’m finally putting up the Survivor of the Month Clues below. Winner and profile to follow.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to Survival this month. Please stand by and keep on keeping on. Please  enjoy this freaky poem by Werewolf13 in honor of werewolf Robbie Burns day…

Whispers fill your mind with fear.
You feel a ghostly presence is near.
The wind gives off a frozen chill.
Cold so sharp it could kilI.
Phantoms flow in the air.
Invisible to the eye but still there.
You know now that you are done.
The game was lost.
The fear has won!

And Now For the Survivor of the Month Clues…

1. This Survivor is not a boy – but IS a werewolf.

2. This Survivor has a friend with a suspicious toad problem. (Somebody needs to contact her school, see if any boys have disappeared lately.)

3. This Survivor has a blind grandpa who lost his sight in werewolf form, now his human eyes can only see by the moon.

…and you guessed it, the Survivor of the Month for the Ice Moon is:

LOKI

Loki is Ice Moon Survivor of the Month

Check back here for a link to a summary of Loki’s ongoing epic, which I am almost finished. Thanks to all who survived this moon with SOS and all survivors who came before.

This month, three special promotional codes for a free game also go out to Devorah, Wolflilly and Scarfur, courtesy of iOS game maker and friend of SOS, survivor Marc.

(While I don’t necessarily endorse Marc’s survival lessons, I can vouch for his honesty. His promo game codes are just good, free, fun. Pretty hard! but fun.)

You keep me keeping on.

Seth

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This Week In Survival January 18, 2013

January 19, 2013 By Seth 27 Comments

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!

Survival makes the world go round so hearty congrats to all who survived  another supernatural week, January 13-19 more or less intact. It was a tough one for our airborne anomalies, because of the superplasminium clouds bearing down on the globe. 

And thanks to everyone who shared a little piece of their epic week with an SOS message. Watch here as I now attempt and almost succeed in accurately summarizing and linking some of these events in no particular order. Feel free to follow the links and wade in, add on, ask a question or otherwise contribute your two cents!

(Some patience required this week. With the full moon coming, there are strange happenings here at SOS HQ. A survivor named Archie has been having a serious problem ever since the Frost Moon. More about that later.)

[Hold music here..]

*LycantheProtector just opened an unauthorized portal on the site and survivors have been jumping through. What is the deal with these crystals? And why does WW13 want one?

*I suspect that Time might have something to do with this. He’s back on the site bringing with him a mysterious new shapeshifter named Quintessa.

*Okay well O. Eternal just announced they have a human avatar. But where did they get this? Is this a possible line of work for humans fired from jobs at Robot Restaurants? Because I know an actor looking for a job… no really. I do. Does being a human avatar pay well though? I’m suspicious.

*After many A-51-free weeks, the monster hunters appear to have located a survivor on the site, irl. Moon Song is stuck in wolf form here. Is she really a reverse werewolf now? How did this happen and why? Luckily her wolf growls are being translated by Mythe Magyk.

*Does this have anything to do with Firefang losing his phone for a while to Area 51? Are they looking for his WW fangs which he put in a safe in his crib? What is he doing without his fangs anyway? Is there a WW dentist in the house?

(Note: This is why there’s a strict no real names, ages or locations policy here on the site! And thanks to WW13 and Loki for reminding survivors of that.)

*Jorge, a suspected werewolf, wants to know if his Dad’s story about the moon is a clue. But what exactly was his dad’s story? Hopefully he will tell us. Can we help Jorge solves this mystery before the Ice Moon next week? 

*Is Devorah still dealing with intermittent transformations with the help of lycanthroporous flower petals and spells? Is this a classic case of orthodontic transformation suppression syndrome ie: silver braces? Still a mystery but here’s one clue – her dad is an orthodontist.

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Robot Waiter Fired for Being Undercover Human

January 17, 2013 By Seth 14 Comments

More astonishing robot news this week as a robot waiter in Harbin, China has been fired from his job in a popular new robot restaurant, after management accused him of being an undercover human.

Management of the new Robot Restaurant, began to suspect waiter-bot “F004U” might secretly be a human in disguise, when the service bot began getting orders wrong and swearing at the customers.

RoboWaiter fired on suspicion of being undercover actor Joel Kinnaman

But fired robot “F004U” denies the charge of being human. He insists that jokey programmers at the factory must have secretly installed the Urban Dictionary on his hard drive.

“C’mon they did it to Watson! Please, all I need is a little wipe and reboot at the factory and I’ll be good as new, I promise,” pleaded F004U from the street corner where he now begs for spare change from passersby. “I really need this job.”

But Management claims to have found convincing evidence that waiterbot F004U is really actor Joel Kinnaman, probably conducting undercover research for a sequel to the new RoboCop movies in which he stars.

Undercover RoboWaiter

“We found the script for a movie called RoboWaiter in F004Us locker and a phone number on the first page took us to Mr. Kinnamon’s agent.”

Management says while they appreciate the actor’s dedication to his craft, they are running a family restaurant not an actors’ studio.

“Robots are cool because they are sort of like humans, not because they actually are human. I suggest that Mr. Kinnaman apply to work at a Human Restaurant.”

But F004U denies the charge that he is really a popular sci-fi actor in training.

“I’m just a tough-talking waiter who was brutally murdered and subsequently revived by the malevolent mega-corporation OCP as a superhuman cyborg known as RoboWaiter. I can single-handedly serve every table in this joint while kicking your ass and riding my bike. Honest.”

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Cyborgs, Humans, robots

Supernatural Weather Alert Expect Superplasminium Clouds, says Zyboragon

January 14, 2013 By Seth 4 Comments

 Zyboragon Four Day Forecast – Cloudy With a Chance of Superplasminium Clouds

Supernatural weather alert for the week of January 13 to 20, for those who missed it, Supernatural Meteorologist and Big Metal Dragon Dude Zyboragon is detecting higher than normal levels of superplasminium ether in Earth’s atmosphere, resulting in unpredictable and highly toxic superplasminium clouds.

Dragons, witches, angels and other flying phenoms are being advised to check for updates in their area before embarking on any high-flying adventures.

Zyboragon 4 Day Forecast

According to Zyboragon, Superplasminium Ether is highly toxic and can lead to a hint of grey scale syndrome. When inhaled via the respiratory systems it will affect the nervous system in three seconds flat.

How can you protect yourself from these particles and still make it home by sunrise? And how did this happen in the first place? Is anyone immune?

Until we can locate and stem the source of this Superplasminium, survivors are being advised to protect their skin, scales or fur and to avoid flying in hotter climes ie: above 70 degrees Fahreinheit. If you have the ability to travel below ground or through water, this may be a good time to deploy it.

However if you must fly, remember to fly cross wind and only take shallow breaths. Also remember Superplasminium clouds tend to congregate toward bigger objects, so avoid traveling in group formation and over major cities. According to Z, this is the key. Remain random and stay unique! 

Until then, thanks to Zyboragon for collecting and sharing his meteorological data with survivors and let me be the first to say, I knew you weren’t the kind of draconian to just slink away to your cave full of treasure at the end of your year to spend the rest of your life burning villages between naps. Okay yes I may feared that, just a little. And yes maybe I did strongly IMPLY that here on the site. But that was only because of that useless treasure map you left me.

(The map was a joke, right? Did you know that it ends in a janitor’s closet beneath The Shard? How exactly am I supposed to get near that?)

Anyway, I might have known Z would be up to some good where ever he went. It’s reassuring to see that him putting his supernatural meteorological diploma to good use. Who better to report on weather conditions than a dragon?

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: supernatural weather forecast, superplasminium, Zyboragon

This Week In Survival: January 11, 2013

January 11, 2013 By Seth 29 Comments

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!

Welcome to This Week In Survival where we celebrate having survived the week that was, in one form or another, and attempt to summarize some of the highlights with links.

But first, as many of you know, my personal survival missions for this week were very simple:

1. Identify any potentially dangerous hellevators and make contact with Certified Hellevator Rehabilitator, Johnny Bauer. The first part, as you can read for yourself, turned out to be easier than I thought. The second part, I am still working on this. Turns out Johnny Bauer is a very busy guy this time of year but I’ll keep trying.

2. Get valuable free game promo codes from my zombie cauliflower-obsessed friend and fellow survival game maker Marc so I can pass them on to all contributing survivors this month. Well, as luck would have it, they arrived today – ten promo codes for Zombie Apocalypse: How Cauliflower Saved My Life.

Now I’m not going to lie, it’s a tough game,  I’m not going to tell you the cauliflower makes survival easy. But I am going to tell you that it does make it fun. So if you contributed to SOS in the last month, please check your mailbox this weekend for a promo code to download this game to your device. And if you like the game or you have some suggestions for my friend Marc, please let me know.

(Please note, this is a promo code for a free download of the game. You will not be asked for any money, ever. But if you don’t have an iOS device you are welcome to give your promo to a friend or to another survivor on the site.)

This Week In Survival Links: 

*The strange story of “Werewolf Gene” unfolding here…strange family connections being revealed this week on the site…would your cousin bite you? WG is worried that her cousin Midnight might bite… Did she survive her visit to her cousin’s house? Is there a lycan family counsellor in the house?

*WHAT IS UP WITH ALEX? He has no memory and all we know for sure is that he doesn’t eat flowers. Which is a good sign. But he has been sending strange emails. Is he now the only  human in his school or maybe even his city? Has he exhausted  his wiz-wolf ways and turned everybody around him into supernatural beings? What do you think?  It’s just a theory. Only the normally secretive Alex can confirm or deny…

*Anyone notice an angry fairy around here? Fair warning – “Sweet Fairy” might not be so sweet afterall. But how did she break her wing? And is she really a vampire? 

*More unresolved vampire activity. Anyone know a mobile Synthetic Blood Bank deliver service for Vampire Godess? 

*I missed a strange biting report. But is it really a vampire biting? It sounds very suspicious. Read “Scarlet Vampire” fragmented report. (But not Dazai the bitter plant alien’s advice! Please. It might encourage him.)

*New Dragon Wolf named Dawson has just appeared. Seems to be chewing on a bone. Not a good sign. What kind of bone? Anyone missing a leg? Can the survivors sort this out?

*Loki suspects that her best friend might be a witch. Which would not be a good thing for Loki, who has a weakness for enchanted ribbon among other things. Got a friend who’s a witch? Give Loki some advice here…

*A royal werewolf visit this week – Werewolf Princess takes time out from her busy rehearsal schedule to say hi. Will she share some royal WW Tales?  Say hi to Wolf Princess here… 

*WARNING – Vampire Goddess is having difficulty controlling her thirst… where did I put that link again?

*Shadow Claw is back after a tedious vacation, the worst kind. Did he finally tell his human GF that he was a suspected lycan? If so did she stay with him? And what kind of tedious vacation did he have? Watching paint dry at the dentist office? Read about it here…

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Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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