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Frankenmoon Survivors of the Month: Gabriella and Werewolf13

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Meet Werewolf13:

Werewolf13 began suspecting that her school knew just a little too much about werewolves, she just wasn’t sure why. The cafeteria offered a consistent cornucopia of fluffy jumbo werewolf muffins and seemed just a little too interested in who exactly was eating them – namely Werewolf13 herself. She began to keep track of who watched her pick out a muffin and why. Of course I immediately suggested that she may in fact be attending a werewolf school but the Werewolf13 is not so sure about that. The jury is still out!

Werewolf13 has always known that she is a werwolf, not just because she loves the muffins at her school a little too much but because her dad is a practising werewolf with all the symptoms. Her mom, however is not a werewolf at all. What is her mom? Hey we don’t actually know… hmmm…

At any rate the combination of 100% werewolf + 100% human = WW13 – and we’re very glad that it did. By my estimation WW13 has saved around a half-dozen lives already here at SOS.

Starting with John. John came to the site reporting a problem that sounds like he MIGHT be a bitten wolf. You know, going to bed achey on the full moon, waking up naked in the yard covered in leaves kind of thing. Scouring news reports for stories of people and animals he might have accidentally killed. Pretty standard bitten wolf case.

Anyway, John was -still is – pretty upset about the whole bitten werewolf situation   and he planned to build a secure crib made almost entirely of silver. But luckily WW13 stopped him before he blew the family fortune on a pure silver crib that would kill him. She suggested a thin plate of silver over the door instead – I couldn’t have said it better!

It’s too soon to know if John took WW13’s advice – he would likely just be unlocked today. Hopefully he had a good keeper or a lock timer. We will see. Either way, if John reports back, we owe it to Werewolf13 who very likely saved his life. And his college fund.

Another good one, is the the time Werewolf13 advised Wolfling, giving him a number of (mostly harmless) things to try that might trigger his lycanthropy after properly warning him that it was a mistake to try to become a werewolf. Did it work? Well did you see any stories of naked campers who wouldn’t come in from the rain and the wind? Er, wait a minute. I think I just saw one…

Speaking of that, is it possible that WW 13 took some of her own advice this moon? Because she actually physically transformed. Physically, and not just mentally. As you know, WW13 WAS an M-shifter who phased in and out a lot in the month leading up to the full moon. Then on the night of the full moon, she began exhibiting physical transformation symptoms. Was it the Frankenmoon Effect? We still don’t know, but everyone should be aware that there is now a strong possibility that WW13 is either a) a Blood Werewolf b) a Hunter werewolf or c) a Frankenwolf. Will we ever find out?

Thanks to an email update from her kitsune friend Mitsuzo we do know this much. WW13 survived the Frankenstorm and managed to secure adequate candy provisions despite an encounter with a few A-51 agents, largely due to their excellent disguises. What were they? Hopefully WW13 will share when she gets back.

Thanks for keeping on for the Frankenmoon. Happy Halloween to everyone! Hope you collected enough candy to survive the coming dark season. Please check back for the stories of Gabriella and WW 13!

Now to everyone who keeps on keeping on, thanks for inspiring SOS and helping me to keep on too. Survival is always the biggest prize.

SUR + VIVE  = ON + LIVE! May we all keep on and on.

Seth

Frankenmoon Halloween Survival: You and Your Disguise

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As the Frankenmoon rises on the freakiest Halloween since the Great Blood Moon of 2002, please take a minute out from battening down your hatches to recall the true supernatural survival roots of Halloween and evaluate the survival quotient of your Halloween disguise – before it’s too late.

As many readers know, Halloween marks the end of the happy harvest season of celebration and the start of the long dark teatimes of the soul, which before electricity must have been even longer and darker. With less tea. On Halloween the fabric between the worlds, all worlds, is thin and fragile. You just need a little frankenmoon frankenstorm to blow a frankenhole in that layer and we’re all frankenfurters. Who will pop through the Halloween hole this year?  You can never tell until it’s too late.

That’s why this Halloween more than ever, your survival may depend on a superior supernatural survival strategy. And a strategic disguise is the foundation of any good supernatural survival plan. Contrary to popular belief a good disguise is not always the one that gets you the most candy. Girls you know what I’m talking about here. I’m not going to say any more.

Sure candy is important. Candy can play a vital role in your Frankenmoon Halloween survival strategy. Remember the lady who survived for 7 weeks in her car in the woods of Nevada with only snow and candy to eat? But remember, this was not on Halloween, so she didn’t need to disguise herself.

How's your disguise, survivaly speaking? Hopefully better than this.

The ancients understood the benefits of a really good disguise. Werewolves dressed up as grandmothers, elves disguised as rocks, babies made to look like cabbages, that kind of thing. All good strategies to outsmart malicious spirits. Nobody likes cabbage, not even a zombie. Unless it’s pickled cabbage, then yeah, sure you might meet a hungry zombie. Otherwise, a giant head of cabbage is an excellent disguise for a baby. Or anyone really who doesn’t want to attract the attention of frisky frankenmoon supernatural tourists.

So why doesn’t anyone disguise themselves as a rock or a cabbage anymore? Where did we go so horribly wrong?

This disguise for example, sent to us by Karlito, who you may also recognize as the 2 millionth survivor. Clearly Karlito is not going to make it through this Frankenmoon Halloween. I am genuinely concerned. A costume like this screams a Survival Quotient or SQ of “supernatural sucker.”

(No offense intended to you Karlito. I know you’re the leader of a big pack but still. Survival is serious business.)

Please survivors, we can do better. Take your survival seriously. If you want to pre-screen your disguise choice, please feel free to send it in like Karlito did and we can all help by rating your SQ and giving tips to help you survive.

Above all keep on keeping on as the Frankenmoon brings a stormy Halloween.

Survivor of the Month questions are coming up and we will announce the winner on Halloween. Until then have a look at some of the Frankemoon freakiness happening here on the site or watch werewolf videos at yourlupinelife.com

Appy Halloween Ghost Messages

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Speaking of spectres for Halloween, is Ghost Writer really an app that lets you write and receive ghost messages? Is it a serious supernatural tool or just spooky fun?

Those were naturally my first questions when I received an email last night about a new app called Ghost Writer. The email got my attention right away with their claim this app is quote, “The biggest advance in ghost-human communications since the invention of Cherry Pie. Use it on Halloween to write ghost messages.”

Serious supernatural tool or just spooky fun?

If you do have a ghost or know a ghost or maybe you ARE a ghost, then you probably  know why I’m talking about this. The peskiest of paranormal problems – spectral speechifying. Ghostly grumbling. It’s a killer! Makes you want to just say, hey when you make my walls bleed do you really mean to say that you want to kill me? Or this just your fun way of  letting me know you don’t like the paint?

(Or just how you ask for cherry pie.)

Every meddling medium for the last 300 years has been trying to solve this problem. From table tappers to tea readers, aura photographers to e-meters. Everybody has their own favorite solution.

At one conference I recently attended, The Maritime Ghost Conference,they recommended  using cherry pie. No joke. You just get your ghost gabbing with cherry pie, they said. Ghosts like cherry pie, they said. It gets them talking, they said. It’s so easy, they said.

Yeah so I tried it. You set the cherry pie out at night so it’s there at the exact time and place that your ghost usually visits. (Ghosts, like vampires, rarely appear during the day.)

Then you sit and wait for your ghost to appear. (Don’t eat the cherry pie here, very important point. I can’t stress this enough in terms of your survival.)

Now when your ghost appears you simply inquire of your apparition if he or she would like some delicious cherry pie or if he or she likes delicious cherry pie in general or if not what kind of pie does he or she likes and then…

...well that’s another story. Just watch out for flying cherries unless you want to lose an eye. That’s all I’m saying. Trust me on this.

Back to this new app called Ghost Writer. Could it really be the next go-to supernatural tool for ghost messages? That would be nice. I’m looking into that one today and I’ll let you know how that goes. Feel free to join me, download Ghost Writer here, it is in fact free and it could be fun. At the very least you won’t have to clean cherry pie off the walls when you’re done.

Although I suppose cherry pie is better than blood. Unless you’re a vampire I guess. Hey that makes me think… why don’t the bleeding wall ghosts and the vampires just make a deal and….???

Maybe Ghost Writer can help with that. We will see. Thanks for keeping on keeping on.

Survivor Update: Alex Trapped in Containment Unit

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A new video by long time friend to survivors everywhere, Alex reveals his current situation is precarious. He appears to be trapped inside a containment facility with a stoney opponent and no exit and no explanation how he got there.

Alex sent an email with this link last night and asked me to use it to warn other survivors. I’ve watched it and it is as the title suggests a valuable lesson about the very real dangers of blinking…

2 Million Survivors Today

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Good news today we hail our 2 millionth survivor, 99.98% guaranteed – barring unforeseen supernatural circumstances. (Like wayward zombies, Area 51, ARC or a Jaffassasin attack.)  Congrats to everyone who manages to keep on keeping on in this crazy world. You are the inspiration for SOS. Thanks for helping make more monster mayhem and survival fun around here. Your survival is always my survival.

Thanks to Karl & Alex on 2 Million Day

Because this is 2 million day and that’s twice as fun as 1 million, SOS is sending out twice the prizes. That’s right 2 million prizes.

REALLY? No! Not really. I wish. Unfortunately my current cover job as a dog walker and plant sitter does not allow for 2 million prizes. Soon!

For now, it’s only two. 2 small iTunes thank-you prizes going out as we speak to two Survivors who sent in photos.

First there was a werewolf named “Karlito” whose photo I especially like owing to its excellent cropping out of Graham. But Karlito’s only message so far is a very suspicious email that reads as follows and I quote:

“AaarRRRooooooooooooooo”

So lucky winner number 2, not as fast as Karl but more articulate at least over time was, drumroll  please: ALEX!

No, I did NOT just make that up. Alex.

The One Million is now the  Two Million Dollar Man and now I’m really starting to think he’s actually a cyborg. So if you haven’t read them yet, please read the  Adventures of Alex here. I’m working on the update now to them now. I can’t guarantee they’ll make sense. Survival is always a little messy and Alex is mucho mysterioso these days.

But seriously, a big thanks to everyone today who helps SOS survive against all the odds. You keep us all keeping on.

 

Achilles Heel Epic Cure

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An epic cure announced today for you demigods who still rely on a good dip in the River Styx to protect yourself in battle – say goodbye to that annoying and dangerous Achilles heel.

Read about it here. An SOS 99.98% true story in progress…

Un-dipped heels: a big little problem for demigods like Achilles here

It’s a big-little problem experienced by many demigods the world over – the Achilles Heel. That part of your heel where your mom held you as a baby while she dangled the rest of you into the raging, magical waters of the River Styx.

Styx water as everyone knows, offers god-like powers of invulnerability with a single dip, the result of a favor the Goddess Styx once performed for Zeus. After the River Styx goddess stuck up for Zeus, he vowed to honor any oath sworn to her, which naturally put her river in the business of granting wishes.

Well it didn’t take long for moms and dads of demigods to begin taking Zeus up on his offer, dipping their little godlings in the magic river and asking for lifelong protection. It seemed to work except for one little-big thing – the un-dipped spot on the heels where the baby was held. The Achilles Heel.

Achilles’ mom Thetis used just her thumb and one lone finger on one heel to hold baby Achilles and keep him away from the boats and angry drowning people. That’s mom’s story anyway. Yet even that spot was still just big enough that Achilles would eventually take a poison arrow in the heel during battle and become a cautionary tale about the dangers of small weaknesses for all eternity. Not to mention being mocked for all eternity by humans, naming their heel tendons after him. Not nice, humans. Although, hey, it IS a very god-like tendon.

Gods and scientists have been trying ever since to solve the dippy problem of Achilles tendons.  If you armour it up, the hero can’t move. And a hero who can’t move is better known as a sitting duck. But an epic hero with an arrow in his heal is a dead one. What to do?

Epic socks cure Achilles Heel

Well for an epic problem, an epic cure: socks. Epic socks. Epic socks designed by Socrates himself. They’re bullet-proof right where it counts for a busy demigod like you with monsters to defeat. And epic anti-droop tech ensures you won’t be pulling them up during battle.

Your survival is 99.98% guaranteed!

For more information about demigods please visit the demigods page.