First published in
a press release issued to
The Economist Sept 19, 2009
In this dark world of sluggish income gains and diminished expectations one voice points the way to true, lasting economic recovery after the storm – Seth Greening.
Seth caused a furor recently with his unique economic recovery plan urging us to bypass traditional tactics – stimulating demand now without wrecking the public finances; containing unemployment without inhibiting the shift of workers from old industries to new ones and blah, blah, blah.
Rather Seth Greening’s radical economic reform policy is simple and just way better – the deployment of a dedicated exploration expedition to the ends of rainbows everywhere.
“What comes after a storm? Rainbows. It’s a well-known fact that rainbows follow storms. And what is at the end of a rainbow? And yet nobody has seriously pursued the ends of them before now,” he explains, relaxing into his favorite chair in his subterranean headquarters. “That is a serious oversight. All these arcus pluvia with all those pots of gold just appearing and disappearing at the ends of them all over the world as we speak.”
But what exactly is required to seriously reach the end of a rainbow? If schools of candy-fueled kids have been unsuccessful for hundreds of years, what are the chances now that an aging planet will succeed in actually reaching the end of a rainbow before it disappears?
“Well kids are smart and fast it’s true but invariably they miscalculate the correct end of the rainbow as well as the speed of their bicycles, in addition to being frequently distracted by the presence of earthworms.
Seth proposes a global team of iridologists working in close conjuction with the Greek Goddess Iris, who is well-known to command the powers of the rainbow to track, locate and travel to the pot-of-gold bearing ends of them.
“We just have to hope it’s there. And not chocolate. Wait, on second thought? Chocolate would be good too!”