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Wild Moon Good Friday

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Wild Moon Good Friday

The Wild Moon is almost here, adding to the Good of Friday and all weekend.

First with apologies to zombie activists everywhere, there will be no zombie theology here this year. If the zombies want to claim Jesus as their symbol of goodness and  undeadness, who am I to argue? I think it could be very beneficial for many zombies to follow his example. Besides, as Zyboragon says, Zombies have spiritual needs too.

(Besides, have you ever tried arguing with a zombie? Not easy.)

So with apologies to the zombies, but there will be no photos of zombie JC here this weekend.

No, this weekend is all about the Wild Moon bringing with it two new Survivors of the Month.

Quick contest recap: each helpful comment or report becomes one “ticket” that goes into a “hat” app. Then we  randomly pick the next two Survivors of the Month. These survivors receive an embarrassingly small prize ($10 iTunes card). Which is all a struggling Internet Survivalista like me can afford. But then the important part, the life-saving front page summary of their epic tales of survival to date. I’m working on them right now.

So check back on the Wild Moon whenever you can to find out the new Survivors of the Month and also on Saturday afternoon to catch the time-limited sneak peak of “My Lupine Life,” by Louis Pine.

Zombies claim Easter as Undead Holiday

Zombies, Run!

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Trying out this new running app this week. Like my own app The Monstrometer, it offers a money back survival guarantee.

If I survive, I’ll report back here. If I don’t, can somebody please apply for my .99 cents back? You can keep it, I just don’t want anybody else to profit from my untimely undeath.

A running app that boasts an undead guarantee. We will see!

Update: I think the app might actually be a beacon that attracts them! You can’t stop running! The zombies just keep coming!

On the bright side, I think maybe I dropped 5 pounds. This may be very unique approach to training & fitness. An RT zombie Wii if you will….

I like it!

Zombie Month Videos

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Hail Survivors,

Zombies are a significant threat to survival and so you need the best information possible to keep on keeping yourself un-undead. So below I present to you a valuable zombie survival tool, the Seth On Survival Zombie Month episodes. Each episode is only about 4 minutes long but is packed with valuable zombie survival information so do yourself a favour and have a look.

Seth

Episode 1 – Zombiology 101.3

Episode 2 – Zombie Autopsy

Episode 3 – Zombie Quarantine

Episode 4 – The Great Zombie Debate

Episode 5 – Zombie Battle

Zombie Valentine News

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For anyone who missed the big Valentine’s Day announcement from Zyboragon, there’s an explanation for the mysterious zombie valentine posted to the site yesterday (below).

And it’s good news for all you non-cannibals. Zombies have taken V-day to re-respect a 1987 decision to restrict feeding habits to cannibals. Check it out!

20120214-185948.jpg

Apologies to any cannibals out there. However you should be aware, as a cannibal you are in fact at risk of spontaneously developing ZSE anyway and turning zombie at some point regardless. Any further questions or concerns, please feel free to give Ted Turner a call OR join the protest outside Zyboragon’s house…

Un-undead Singing Idol Kidnapped by Zombies?

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This man man claiming to be a famous Zulu singer returned from the dead this week, says he survived a terrible two-year kidnapping by zombies after a witch placed a spell on him.

Dead singing sensation claims he was kidnapped by zombies.
Man claiming to be Zulu singing sensation “Mgqumeni” returns from a two year kidnapping ordeal

But only two of his three wives and girlfriends agree and authorities intend to charge him with fraud.

This week the man appeared claiming to be Khulekani “Mgqumeni” Khumalo, an award-winning Zulu folk musician who died in 2009. His story caused riots at the singer’s former home after fans of the singer heard the man’s story about a witch doctor who marked him with a spell, causing him to be kidnapped by a herd of roving zombies.

Using a loudspeaker, he explained  that zombies kept him alive in a cave for two years until he finally managed to escape with all his brains –  but none of his trademark dreadlocks.

(Presumably the zombies shaved his head in preparation for his eventual de-braining – not an uncommon practice among civilized zombies who prefer to prepare their meals in this manner.)

The un-undead singer was greeted warmly by two of his former wives, who believed his story and took him back. But his third wife was very skeptical.

“What? Two other wives? I don’t care who he is, send him back to the zombies!”

She called the police who are considering fraud charges.

Zombie Berries

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Hail Survivors,

I recently received the following disturbing email from long time friend to the site and survivors everywhere, Zyboragon.

The contents of his email are below:

Dear Seth,

I was talking to my good friend Terry (the zombie) and he mentioned a new kind of berry that mimicked the flavor of a human brain. I asked to see one of these berries.

The berry can only be grown rotten, the rot helps mimic the appearance of roasted flesh, something that zombies enjoy quite vividly. In a taste test hosted by Terry, 9/10 zombies agree that the berry actually tastes better than real brains!

While this berry produces good news on the zombie front, it has angered many cannibals.

I got to speak with one such cannibal.

Z: Why does the berry offend you?

Cannibal: We eat our own species, it’s tradition! The berry looks like burnt flesh, it’s intolerable! Several cannibals have given up our sacred tradition to try this new berry! We simply cannot allow it to exist.

Z: That sounds like a good thing though.

Cannibal: To you! It makes us look bad when someone quits! Personal image and respect are important to us!

The cannibal then took off shouting “You’ll regret this zombies”!!

Even though cannibals dislike the new berry, many stores are already selling the zombie berry. The public release of this new produce shows zombies have extended a hand to help improve zombie/human relations.


This news is both great and distressing. Early calculations show that this development could reduce human casualties from zombies by as much as 37% but a Cannibal-Zombie War could lead to untold casualties. Further developments will be posted as they develop.

A big thanks to Zyboragon for alerting us. He has definately wracked up quite a few lives saved.

Keep on keeping on.

Seth