A so-called scatomancer witch calling himself S.S. Singh is pushing a steaming pile of poo about his supposedly pungent power to tell the future and even do magic using human scat this week.
*Warning to anyone reading this before Thanksgiving dinner… maybe don’t.
The man in this photo claims to be a so-called scatomancer in a documentary out this week called “Journey to Planet Sanity,” but supernatural survivologists are calling bulli$h&t on his schtick after watching his so-called psychic shIz@ reading.
After kneeling in front of the full toilet, Mr. Singh reaches right into the toilet bowl and picks up one of the documentarian’s turds, holding it up to his nose and takes a big whiff.
“The stronger the aroma, the more accurate the prediction,” he declares. Then after feeling and smelling the poo, the self-styled scatomancer advises the film maker to continue on his journey.
But Supernatural Survivologist Seth Greening called the reading a pile of steaming poo in an interview with WBEX.
“A traditional scatomancer would never lower himself to kneel over a toilet. In fact, a traditional scatomancer would not read human poo at all. They examine animal scat for clues about the past and upcoming years. Further, if Mr. Singh were a traditional scatomancer, he would have dried the turds outside in the sun until they became what scatomancers of yore referred to euphemistically as “magic beans.” Then he would have laid the magic beans on a grid for reading past, present and future or used them in a magic spell.” explained Seth help-ily.
“But the bottom line is, if Mr. Singh knew anything about scatomancy at all, he would know that today modern scatomancers perform their art using test tubes, glass slides, latex gloves and microscope. And most if not all of them prefer the title of lab technician to scatomancer. Unless they are trying to impress a date, in which case many of them still have a pile of business cards with the title of Grand Scatomancer ready to give away.”