SOS Supernatural News This Week
Guaranteed truer than true 99.98%
After my extended trip North to investigate the brewing war for the Pole between Denmark, Canada and Russia and of course Santa Claus himself, I have returned to find a backlog of supernatural news tips and comments. Thanks to every survivor who survived with SOS over the dark season! I’ll try now to catch up, starting with a supernatural news roundup of some global events that could sound your supernatural sonar this week, starting with:
Mermaid School Meh in Montreal
If you are of the Mermish mind, don’t be fooled by the siren song of this so-called “Mermaid School ” open in Montreal this week.
On the school’s website the school promises to teach “all the magic of mermaids, before inviting all Sirens or Tritons to apply for their $60.00 introductory course.
Which sounds like a great deal for all the magic of mermaids – who are of course mightily magical beings – but before you shell out, better read the whole site and let the truth sink in. The real mission of this school is far more modest than magic. The only magic here turns out to be mighty abs. That’s right, it’s a fitness class for the aquatically apt.
Now I’m not against any supernatural improvement resolutions for New Year’s. Fitness is imperative to survival and I encourage any survivor to train in their chosen domain and sharpen their skills, whether it be ninja fighting, pack running or time jumping but no real mermish will be challenged by a few laps in an indoor swimming pool, even under the instruction of a real mermaid of Triton, so do yourself a favor and save your shells for that trip to Atlantis.
President Adopts Werewolf Boy
This one’s the real thing, survivors. The President of Argentina has adopted a werewolf boy to save him from turning on the first Friday after his 13th birthday.
Many SOS survivors are painfully aware of the fact some parents will stop at nothing to suppress your latent lycanthropy ~ silver-titanium braces anyone?~ but what if they put you out for adoption like these parents described here?
It could happen if you live in Argentina and you have 6 older brothers.
In that country a rare form of lycanthropy is believed to be inherited by only the 7th son in a family.
Tradition states this 7th son will turn into a demon werewolf on the first Friday after his 13th birthday and become a killer every full moon thereafter.
So when a 7th son was born to parents Shlomo and Nehama, they figured rather than mess with witch spells and silver baths, they would put baby Tawil up for adoption instead.
I’m sure Tawil could do fare worse than find himself adopted by the president of his country, but let this be a lesson to young lycans everywhere. Things could be worse. You could be a werewolf in Argentina.
Now let’s hope the president is not surprised when this so-called quick-fix cure fails on the first Friday after Tawil’s 13th birthday. Writing to warn her today is on my to-do list. If you are a concerned werewolf, I would urge you to do the same.
Shopaholic Robot Turns to Crime
What do you get when you give a shopaholic robot an allowance of 100 bitcoin a week?
You get a drug dealing criminal cyborg, according to reports. The robot known as the Darknet Shopper has reportedly gone rogue, and has started dealing in ecstasy and fake passports this week.
While admittedly not the crime wave I most fear most from a rogue robot, this story should sound your SOS sense. It’s a short jump from dealing in contraband drugs and cards to guns and then what? Guns don’t kill people but cyborgs with guns most certainly do.
So be on the alert Survivors. And welcome to 2015 here on SOS. Long may we keep on keeping on.