(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Warnings from Bulgarian archaeologists to survivors this week. Recently discovered vampire skeletons have begun to mysteriously disappear.
Have you seen this vampire (below)?
Another SOS 99.98% truer-than-true story in progress:
Two new vampire skeletons including this one were recently excavated near the Black Sea town of Sozopol and shown off to the world by the national museum. Each skeleton had a large, rusty iron stake through the rib cage, possibly indicating the work of unknown vampire hunter.
But enraged vampires around the world immediately began demanding to know the names of the deceased but national history museum chief Bozhidar Dimitrov stated the skeletons are too important to his museum and to history.
“These two skeletons stabbed with rods illustrate a practice which was common in some Bulgarian villages up until the first decade of the 20th century,” he said.
Unfortunately not the answer the vampires were looking for. Reliable rumors today suggest that a team of vampire commandos may have succeeded in liberating one of the vampire skeletons by breaking into the museum compound and removing the stake
“All they had to do was remove those iron stakes in a safe environment and provide a blood supply,” explained one anonymous vampire medic.
Did the vampires take matters into their own hands last night? My calls to the Bulgarian national museum to verify the location of the missing skeleton continues to go answered.
But all photos released about the vampire skeletons today depict ONLY ONE SKELETON. Where is the other one? Is it possible one of these vampires has been unstaked and resuscitated by friends?
“There are historical cases of staked, skeletonized vampires recovering on the blood of worms and insects after the iron stake is pushed up by the movement of the earth.”
Until we know the identity and whereabouts of this resurrected vampire, survivors are advised to be on the alert. Recently unstaked vampires are usually very hungry and confused by changes in the world around them. Not to mention pretty angry about being underground for 200 years.
So if you or anyone you love has had contact with this missing vampire, let us know.