*Restrictions On the SOS Supernatural Survival Guarantee*
We stand behind our advice here at SOS that has saved virtually millions of lives already. With our advice we guarantee a positive survival result 99.98% of the time – or your money/time back.
Some restrictions however, remain in effect. Please review the following before contacting me firstname.lastname@example.org to claim your refund or demand that I roll the survival counter back:
*This guarantee should be broadly interpreted as survival in any form. Not even SOS can guarantee your eternal continuance in any one state of being, form or time.
** This Offer is not valid for employees, family and friends of Seth on Survival. Void on Friday the 13th, Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, Black Noodle Day, Cinco de Mayo, Valentines Day, New Years Day, Groundhog Day, Buddhist Festival of the Tooth, Christmas, April Fools Day, Solstice, Equinox, Thanksgiving, Sinter Klaas Day, Ninja Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day or Chanukah.