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St. Patrick's Day

Leprechaun Treasure Still At Large But Is It A Leprecon Game?

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St. Paddy’s Day again, but can anyone find the treasure Fenn?

Leprechaun Forrest Fenn renewed his St. Patrick’s challenge to the world AGAIN this year to find his treasure chest full of gold and jewels. But is Fenn really another forgetful Leprehaun who has left his geo-data in rhyme? Or a leprechaun man laughing at me er the world?

On the trail of Forrest Fenn’s treasure

Quick recap for those who haven’t been following the Fenn fiasco. The world’s most famous leprechaun claims he left a treasure chest full of gold jewelry and gemstones somewhere in Santa Fe.  To claim it you just need to divine the real meaning in his rhyme.

Now everyone knows the only thing more common than a leprechaun lifting your pants or your shoes on St. Patrick’s Day is a leprechaun looking for his lost loot. You’ll see them wandering the streets late at night this time of year, muttering and confused, dressed in festive green and asking for help.

But these fairweather fae generally move on with the next rainbow and a cup of minty coffee.

But not Forrest Fenn. Again and again, year after year, this old school leprechaun asks you and me to please find – and keep – his treasure chest. In it, he claims is a 17th century Spanish emerald ring, a ruby-studded bracelet, small diamonds and emeralds. along with, I still suspect, my long-missing pants.

Now the hunt for Fenn’s treasure has been on for more than 7 years and claimed more than a few lives, and still nobody has claimed it. Still every year at this time, survivors like yours truly buy his book of clues, download his map, and pack a bag for Santa Fe hoping for the luck of the Irish.

There are, Fenn claims, nine clues in the poem below.

Forrest Fenn lost his loot again – will he really let you keep it?

As I have gone alone in there
And with my treasures bold,
I can keep my secret where,
And hint of riches new and old. 

Begin it where warm waters halt
And take it in the canyon down,
Not far, but too far to walk.
Put in below the home of Brown.

From there it’s no place for the meek,
The end is drawing ever nigh;
There’ll be no paddle up your creek,
Just heavy loads and water high.

If you’ve been wise and found the blaze,
Look quickly down, your quest to cease
But tarry scant with marvel gaze,
Just take the chest and go in peace.

So why is it that I must go
And leave my trove for all to seek?
The answers I already know
I’ve done it tired, and now I’m weak

So hear me all and listen good,
Your effort will be worth the cold.
If you are brave and in the wood
I give you title to the gold.

Me, I haven’t decided yet if I will try my luck again this year.  But if you are thinking to give it a shot, I can tell you this much:

How To NOT Find Forrest Fenn’s Treasure

  1. DO NOT start by calling all the “homes of Brown,” in Santa Fe. It only lead to legal trouble in the form or a DO NOT CALL order.
  2. DO NOT email Forrest Fenn. He won’t send you any clues but he may put you on his mailing list and unless you have a good spam filter you REALLY don’t want to be on a leprechaun’s mailing list.
  3. DO NOT rely on clover-leaf power if you have far to travel. For starters, you won’t get them past the border. Sniffer dogs love them.
  4. DO NOT wear green. I know it’s St. Patrick’s Day but it will only make it harder for the Santa Fe park rangers to find you should you happen to get hopelessly lost on the trail.

If you do celebrate this St. Paddy’s day hoping to find Forrest Fenn’s fickle treasure chest, may the luck of the Irish be with you.

 

4 Leaf Clovers for the 4 Million Moon Who Will Be Survivor of the Month?

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SOS Survivor of the Month

Thanks to everyone who has managed to enter the 4 Million Moon Contest despite the leprechauns on the loose today. To The Reaper and Agent RB and others for the reviews,  to Velanko for introducing a new Survivor, and to everyone who made a comment or reply to anyone else. It all goes into the Saturday draw as well as the grand prize draw and above all, everything you do no matter how small will help SOS to keep on keeping on.

(Incidentally the reviews don’t have to be positive. For instance I wouldn’t exactly expect a great one from SAMANTHA who has likely burst into flames waiting for Daywalker ring info. Although I remain hopeful one can be located. With Survival there’s always hope.)

And now the curse must be passed. LILITH has carried it admirably long enough during a difficult month. While Graham and I comb back through the month that was to determine a survivor strong enough to carry it through another month, stop a minute to recall some basic leprechaun survival facts:

Fast Facts For Full Moon Leprechaun Survival

Leprechauns Attack in New York
A recent leprechaun attack in NY. Note green clothing remains.

1. Wear green

You probably thought it was a joke, the wearing of green clothing but this photo is proof that when big city leprechauns do a subway shakedown, green clothing is your only protection. Why? Historically some green dyes were made from shamrocks which as you know, leprechauns both revere and fear.

2. Avoid those super comfy couches and chairs in public places

This goes double for those massage chairs. Modern leprechauns have devised this technology as one of the best way to suck the coins right out of your pocket. So don’t let one of them catch you digging around in the cushions either, unless you know you can outrun them.

A yellow flag means four leaf clovers here.
A yellow flag means four leaf clovers here.

3. Keep a 4 leaf clover in your pocket at all times for at least the next 72 hours 

Unfortunately due to a devastating four leaf clover crop failure this year, this could be a challenge. Unless you grew your own or you’re a gifted plant grafter, you need a reliable four leaf clover finder. There are several of them on the market, some of them more reliable than others, but there’s also a helpy irl tradition of survivors marking the spot with yellow flags so keep your eyes open for that.

And if you find a good patch today be sure to alert others.

4. Avoid numismatists, locksmiths & cobblers

As previously noted on the site, these are common cover careers for leprechauns who will be on the loose for the next 72 hours. Keep your keys with you at all times and if you find yourself locked out of your crib, home or vehicle above all do NOT call a locksmith.

And if you think it’s safe to buy new shoes because hey who’s a cobbler anymore? Think again. Leprechauns are more than ever, the masters of modern shoemaking.  Any shoes you buy on a leprechaun moon are bound to have a fairy spell on them. So unless you want to dance yourself to death or travel uncontrollably in time, wait at least 72 hours, at least long enough to research your purchase to be sure it won’t have any unintended consequences.

Watch out for moon bows on a leprechaun moon
Watch out for moon bows on a leprechaun moon

5. Beware the moon bows 

Yes it’s true the end of a rainbow often marks a treasure site. But moon bows occur only on a full moon near a running water source. A moon bow marks the transit of a so-called Dark Leprechaun from the land faery realm to ours and when the St. Patrick coincides with a full moon, the dark leprechauns are sure to be out in full force.

6. Review past St. Patrick’s Day survival tips here on the site and add your own. 

It’s the surest way to keep on keeping on!

 

 

Leprechauns on the Loose

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Happy St. Paddy’s Day Survivors!

Ever wonder what happened to Survivor Sheryl, who told her chilling St. Patrick’s Day story last year? Well me too. I never did hear back…

That’s a sombre reminder of the dangers we all face today, St. Patrick’s Day, the height of global leprechaun activity worldwide. Today of all days, be sure to remove any and all gold jewelry, hang onto your pants, and arm yourself with a four-leaf clover, preferably two. Or like Sheryl, you could end up with a leprechaun lose in your closet:

SETH! I URGENTLY NEED YOUR HELP, LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!

So here is what happened: I’m walking out of a store on 5th Avenue earlier when I dropped a gold earring. This weird little guy with a funny accent mumbling about gold picks it up and not only won’t give it back but he totally follows me home like right into my apartment and won’t leave! It is crazy! About ten minutes ago he made a beeline for my designer shoe collection- it was freaky- he whips out this little cloth from his freaky little green britches and starts polishing my favourite open-toed slingbacks!

I managed to shut the door and lock it but I have absolutely no idea how to get him out of my house!

At present the little runt is working his way through my shoes- he has an uncanny knowledge of designer footwear- and luckily I have a LOT of shoes- but he is bound to want to get out and start pestering me about his gold again!

Help me Seth! What do I do??? How do you get a leprechaun out of your apartment!!?! I’ve attached a video in case that helps…

Well Sheryl, you might not want to hear this but the ancients considered RETREAT a form of bravery. A minor form to be sure, but bravery is bravery. Buggering off and running away is living to fight another day. As March turns to April, the Leprechauns concentrate instead on hiding the spoils of March at the ends of rainbows so they can mellow in the sunshine with everybody else.

Do you have a friend you can stay with? Maybe a tall one who you know is safe?

Above all DO NOT try to retrieve your shoes or pants. You might think an industrious Leprechaun would turn to selling speed enchants on your sneakers but in the majority of cases they leave a magic residue that will kill you or make your feet stink or both.

And that’s all I told her. And then I never heard back. Was I too vague? Did she just get too busy surviving to check in? I guess I’ll never know. Anyway if you’re out there Sheryl thanks for sending in this video and thanks for keeping on wherever you are.

Seth