(SOS/ASAP/WTF?) Why is this man, an economist, telling Earthlings to pick a big fight with the aliens, any aliens, as soon as possible? Find out here.
An SOS truer-than-true story in progress, 99.98% guaranteed…
On TV this week, Nobel Prize winning alien economist Paul Krugman stated, “We need a good alien invasion for the fiscal stimulus – to end the recession.”
Mr. Krugman says if the aliens would just invade Earth, the recession could be over in as little as 18 months, the same way that World War 2 ended the last Great Recession 80 years ago.
He may have neglected to mention the fact that Earth itself could also be over in 18 months, but that isn’t stopping people from planning for the alien invasion today. Everyone, from aerospace engineers to politicians to courier drivers, is talking about the awesome benefits of provoking a war with the aliens.
For example, aerospace executive Carol Rosin is excited about the idea, saying that a good alien invasion would help create, “New roles for the military industrial complex, entrepreneurs, worldwide, with huge benefits and opportunities for ALL! Space travel, hotels, space hospitals, schools, labs, farms, industries — tech and info applied directly to solving urgent problems of human needs.”
And the state of Delaware has been actively pursuing an alien invasion for some time now. Remember how they appointed a Martian Ambassador earlier this year?
Even Ellie, the hairdresser who cut my hair this morning stated, “Well I guess maybe everyone would want to have nice hair for the end of the world? That would be okay. But do aliens have hair? I don’t know…”
Others have begun planning the best way to provoke an alien attack.
“I say we build a giant hand-shaped spaceship with the middle finger extended and just drive it around the galaxy,” said Kevin, grade 7. “Or maybe like, insult their moms. That always works.”
Is this madness? Or a sane plan to let the good times roll on earth again?