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Vampire Skeleton Disappears

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(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Warnings from Bulgarian archaeologists to survivors this week. Recently discovered vampire skeletons have begun to mysteriously disappear.

Have you seen this vampire (below)?

Another SOS 99.98% truer-than-true story in progress:

Vampires Rising: Have you seen this vampire?

Two new vampire skeletons including this one were recently excavated near the Black Sea town of Sozopol and shown off to the world by the national museum. Each skeleton had a large, rusty iron stake through the rib cage, possibly indicating the work of unknown vampire hunter.

But enraged vampires around the world immediately began demanding to know the names of the deceased but national history museum chief Bozhidar Dimitrov stated the skeletons are too important to his museum and to history.

“These two skeletons stabbed with rods illustrate a practice which was common in some Bulgarian villages up until the first decade of the 20th century,” he said.

Unfortunately not the answer the vampires were looking for. Reliable rumors today suggest that a team of vampire commandos may have succeeded in liberating one of the vampire skeletons by breaking into the museum compound and removing the stake

“All they had to do was remove those iron stakes in a safe environment and provide a blood supply,” explained one anonymous vampire medic.

Did the vampires take matters into their own hands last night? My calls to the Bulgarian national museum to verify the location of the missing skeleton continues to go answered.

But all photos released about the vampire skeletons today depict ONLY ONE SKELETON. Where is the other one? Is it possible one of these vampires has been unstaked and resuscitated by friends?

“There are historical cases of staked, skeletonized vampires recovering on the blood of worms and insects after the iron stake is pushed up by the movement of the earth.”

Until we know the identity and whereabouts of this resurrected vampire, survivors are advised to be on the alert. Recently unstaked vampires are usually very hungry and confused by changes in the world around them. Not to mention pretty angry about being underground for 200 years.

So if you or anyone you love has had contact with this missing vampire, let us know.

Survivor of the Month: Wolf Princess

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Here’s the first clue to the Survivor of the Month for the Dragon Moon, 2012:

Do you recognize this Survivor of the Month?

1. Είμαι με κανένα τρόπο αυτοκτονίας, αλλά να κάνω έντονα την επιθυμία να είναι με την αγάπη μου και πάλι.

2. Is a vegetarian who loves meat ice cream.

3. Has braces in human form but transforms regularly with no additional pain or difficulty

4. A rare, 100% werewolf turned white demon wolf with red eyes:

By now you’ve probably guessed, this Survivor of the Month is Wolf Princess!

The Harrowing Tale (And Red Eyes & White Fur & Braces) Of a Wolf Princess:

Wolf Princess is a rare, 100% werewolf of suspected genetic origin. She first came here with a simple question, should I join a pack? Or remain a lone wolf?

Wolf Princess revealed that she had been spending her moons alone in the yard. For safety, she instructed her sister to lock her out of the house. Then she roamed the neighborhood trying to avoid contact with others, particularly humans with cameras. But it wasn’t working. Somebody eventually snapped a photo. She found it on the Internet and the other survivors had to talk her out of taking revenge on the photographer.

Shortly after this, Wolf Princess built her own secret crib so she could avoid these situations.

Unfortunately, before she could even use this new crib for the first time, there was a rash of A-51 attacks on the site that caught a lot of survivors, including Wolf Princess. She was caught mid-transformation and collared with a silver collar.

(This attack caused a lot of survivors to question the level of the security of the site and remains to this day the single biggest reason for the no names, no ages, no real locations policy!)

Wolf Princess managed to fight off her attackers but was trapped mid-transformation, half-human, half-wolf. Very embarrassing. Her sister hid her until she could figure out how to get out of the silver collar.

Desperate Wolf Princess tried everything to get it off, right down to the tried-and-true throw-yourself-against-the-wall maneuver.

Nothing worked. Finally another survivor on the site, Goddess of Fate, a demi-god who used to grace us with her presence sometimes, gave Wolf Princess a sword of celestial bronze. Well it worked and Wolf Princess carries it to this day.

Understandably, after this early A-51 encounter, Wolf Princess changed. Her fur went all white as a result of the stress. But there were more changes to come for Wolf Princess.

Needing a holiday after her terrible transformation, she agreed to a dream-cation with the enigmatic Night Wolf, a friendly demon wolf who used to check in sometimes.

Night Wolf and Wolf Princess met in Times Square in their dreams one night – but only one of them returned. And it wasn’t Night Wolf.

In fact, Night Wolf was never heard from again. And we don’t know the full details of what happened that night. Maybe Wolf Princess will never tell us. But that night changed her even further. Now her eyes glowed red and she too was a demon wolf. What really happened that night, Wolf Princess? Will you ever tell?

Either way, the Princess brought back souvenirs for everyone so that was nice. Although you can only claim them in your dreams. (I’m still looking for mine. Last night I looked behind the balloon clown who stole my teeth. He didn’t have it.)

Anyway it turned out to be a good thing, because Wolf Princess needed every power she could muster for the next attack. A pack of creatures surrounded her house one night. They almost killed her and her family and destroyed her home. She thought it was A-51 again but later discovered it was not A-51 at all but it turned out to be a pack of hell hounds sent out by somebody unknown. Did this have anything to do with her new demon powers? We still don’t know.

Lucky thing Bebe’s aunt had a 140 bedroom home that was empty. **HINT: When somebody tells you they have a 140 bedroom home empty? Be very suspicious!  

Wolf Princess brought her family to Bebe’s aunty’s home and it turned out to be a trap. Not one laid by Bebe, but by her annoyingly dangerous warlock brother Spark. Anyway something good came out of this – Time Kitsune saved Wolf Princess’ life and a different spark was ignited between them. Wolf Princess was no longer a lone wolf.

But the partnership of TK and Wolf Princess had many ups and downs. Understandably it was difficult. Kitsune and werewolves do not normally pair up. They seemed to attract danger to each other. Maybe it was the matching collars they wore to track each other at all times, no matter where they were in the universe.

When TK was eventually killed in battle against Zanthre trying to free Wolf Princess who was being used as a weapon against Ice, Wolf Princess was devastated.

After Bebe healed Wolf Princess and told her everything, it broke her heart. Things got very sad around here for a while as Wolf Princess tried everything she could to resurrect TK, every spell she could get her hands on or that Alex could give her. Survivors might remember how a Tear Drinker visited the site several times during this time.

Not even Mr. Jaffa’s fluffy bunny spell could cheer her up. Her demon wolf side began to infect her human side and her eyes glowed red now even in human form. The other kids started to tease her and she had to lock herself into her crib to control herself:

And another thing. Some analysis by Zyboragon revealed evidence of dangerous chemical in her system. Then in her next transformation, Wolf Princess discovered wings. Which I don’t have to tell you makes her dangerously close to the WWs who hunt angels. How did it happen? A healing spell gone wrong? Or back to Night Wolf?

Meanwhile Alex was finally able to ressurect TK in Supreme Fire’s body but only long enough for Wolf Princess to say goodbye. Supreme Fire also gave her TK’s old collar, the one that used to lead them to each other.

Wolf Princess was later relieved to learn then that TK was not dead but dimension-shifted, so although sometimes they can still communicate, they can’t see each other.

Despite this, Wolf Princess has become a great survivor. She dotes on little TK and has lots of good advice for A-51 battle strategy and rage control techniques. She’s a fierce defender of other survivors and well-deserved survivor of the month!

Thanks to Wolf Princess and to everyone here who contributed to survival this month!

SOS Hall of Famer: P5t5r

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Here are the first clues to our first SOS Hall of Fame inductee, meaning from the last year:

Super Moon Survivors of the Month
Coming Soon: Super Moon Survivors

01010011 01110101 01110010 01110110 01101001 01110110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001101 01101111 01101110 01110100 01101000 00100000 01010000 00110101 01010100 00110101 01010010

2. On first glance he may look like an ordinary human, but once you see him lick his elbow, you’ll be turned onto the fact that he may not be so human after all.

3. He is a dedicated student and occasionally has to take breaks away from the site to make sure that he gets all his schoolwork done to the highest standard.

4. He is very passionate about cyborg-human relations and the rights of a cyborg to be religious, and experience human qualities.

As most of you already guessed that this month’s Survivor of the Month is our very own: P5T5R!!  Congratulations!

A few of our favorite P5T5R moments:

“Cyborgs can be religious. We know someone made the electronic part of us and so it’s easy to believe that someone made the rest too.”

“Can I still haiku?
Or must we not continue
See what I can do.

I’d love to do more
I love to rhyme and haiku
Please let me join you.”

“Now you are one of us and we stick by each other just ask anyone. No one is left behind and someone experienced and knowledgable can always be there for you.”

“A more loyal, dedicated, devoted, kind, courageous, and passionate group than us you probably won’t find.”

P5T5R came to Seth on Survival and tested out the Monstrometer, finding that he was, in fact, a cyborg.  He went on to find out that while he had a layer of human skin, underneath he was a robotic entity.   His ability to lick his elbow was one of the first indicators that he was perhaps a little more than human.

Since that time, P5T5R has been extremely helpful in providing ideas and feedback for Seth about how the site can be more efficient and helpful to new monsters, as well as often offering tips on incidents that may be cyborg related. In fact, this whole survivor profile thing was P5t5r’s idea.

(So did he use his cyborg powers on my Hat App??? That’s a question only he can answer.)

P5t5r has taken up the cause of cyborg rights, and when put to trial, please not-guilty on treating one race better than the other.  (You can follow that trial here: http://sethonsurvival.com/monstrometer/werewolves/comment-page-86#comment-134234 ) And by the way: We support you P5T5R – we know you are passionate about equality.

P5T5R is not a cyborg bent on destroying human kind, and rather spends his time helping, encouraging, and keeping the peace between all of our super-natural beings, and the humans that love them.  The one thing P5T5R hates is being left out, especially when he has so many skills to help.

Though he often sticks closely to his areas of expertise on the Cyborg Page, P5T5R has been known to branch out and visit the other pages, providing insights and responses.

Stop on over at the Cyborg Page sometime, and say:

**01000011 01101111 01101110 01100111 01110010 01100001 01110100 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101001 01100101 01101110 01100100

to P5T5R!  And don’t forget to ask his help next time you have a dilemma!

**Translation: Congratulations friend

Bowling Legend Haunts New Jersey Home

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TOMS RIVER, N.J. — A New Jersey couple haunted by a noisy ghost this week may have discovered the source of their sleepless nights with the help of a few simple bowling pins.

Bowling Ghost is actually famous bowler Johnny Petraglia
Bowling Pin Trap Reveals Identity of Ghost

Mere dozens of miles from the site of Amityville Horror – the first one, not the sequel – renters Jose and Michele’s family spent a sleepless week in their haunted New Jersey home before contacting their church pastor and a fleet of paranormal researchers to investigate the source.

Naturally I was flattered when the family asked me to be one of the first researchers on the scene. I did inform them it wasn’t exactly my main area of expertise, but what could I do? Jose and Michele were insistent so I went.

Now I can’t comment IF this house is really haunted or not – that matter is before the courts right now – but I can tell you now WHO is haunting it: Johnny Petraglia. That’s right, bowling triple crown winner Johnny Petraglia, the public face of Bowl-a-size, who went on to win the triple crown with four consecutive strikes in the tenth frame.

How do I know this?

In the old days Johnny trained like this. Now he haunts NJ home.

First, while it’s a well known fact that ghosts in general enjoy bowling, it’s less well known that the whole New Jersey is built on an ancient bowling alley. In fact, New Jersey was once the bowling capital of the world. So whenever I hear of an exceptionally noisy ghost in New Jersey I pack up my bowling shoes and go, knowing I’m liable to be facing a disgruntled PBA great.

Second, it’s a well-known fact that bowling great Johnny Petraglia retired in the area. Johnny was known for his unconventional training regime in life, why would he be any different in the afterlife?

And third, when I finally got to Jose & Michelle’s house, one of the first things I detected was a set of very suspicious duckpins just laying around in the basement.

Later I would advise the couple to dispose of these pins if they didn’t want to host the ghosts of PBA past but not yet. First I needed them to pinpint down the culprit. How else could I be sure this was Johnny Petraglia and not somebody else, say, Bobby Cooper?

Well as you see in the photo above, I set up a classic Bowling Pin Trap to the left of the stairs, knowing that Petraglia, a southpaw, would be unable to resist rolling on those pins, even in the presence of surveillance cameras.

And the results speak for themselves. (See photo above.) It wasn’t long before a ripple appeared on the stairs and the pins began to fall. I immediately advised the family to burn the pins and booked my flight home.

Another paranormal mystery closed.

‘My Lupine Life’ By Louis Pine – Coming Soon

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The sneak peek at the new videos by Survivor Louis Pine is now over but it will be back soon with lots more videos.

We will keep you posted here as soon as they are available. It you would like a personal email notification that they are out then just leave a comment below and I will send you an email when they are ready.

Thanks for checking them out and keep on keeping on.

Seth

PS – If you’re saying to yourself, “Self, who is Louis Pine?” Louis is a suspected genetic werewolf and I would urge you to check out the interview I did with him until the other videos are ready.

And then please download my handy supernatural diagnostic device for iOS, The Monstrometer, because talking to yourself like that is a sure sign of something.

Meet Bebe – Survivor of the Month

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This survivor famously once said,

“Hey you guys. Zyboragon,The One,and Time Kitsume this is not the time to fight each other let’s just get through this you can kill each other later if we survive.”

and this one is great too:

“You feel guilty because you’re good. If your evil you would feel nothing or superior.Eating ice cream and cookies always makes me feel better.You?”

and this one:

“How did I get here? Where am I? Why am I wearing bowling shoes?”

Ten Fun Facts about this Survivor:

1. Has a potion to make platanium clothing & armor. (That’s platinum + titanium. Not to be confused with PLANTAINIUM which is made from bananas.)

2. Holidays in the Kingdom of Sleep and can sometimes bring items from there into the real world because of a deal made by one of her ancestors.

3. As Mr. Mutt learned the hard way, you should NEVER lend this survivor your favorite book.

4. Can sometimes summon Supreme Fire from a ring.

5. Can make WW Scarly go invisible for days with no ability to touch anything.

6. Is a dagger expert, always reminds you to find the original sheath because their magic works together.

7. Once had a cyborg chauffeur. That didn’t work out very well.

8. Went on a vampire cruise with a bunch of other survivors… on purpose. Needless to say, regretted it.

9. Taught us all the hard way the dangers of roses, mysterious unattended bags and…

10. Loves blood orange and er, cat blood ice cream and cupcakes. (Please don’t call the SPCA. I have enough trouble from the zombie rights activists.)

Okay enough clues. If you haven’t guessed it by now the first Survivor of the Month is: Bebe.

WHY BEBE NEEDS A VACATION…

(And why you should think twice before going on one with her!)

It would be almost impossible to summarize everything Bebe has survived in the last few months. But I will try to hit some of the highlights. Please help correct the record in the comments below if I get it wrong.

First, the key to understanding Bebe. She is first and foremost a ninth generation witch, on her mother’s side. When she’s not saving your life, she’s getting you killed. She can heal you with spells that use bronze dust, vervain and simple salt among other ingredients.

She has a crystal wand and if you give her 777 ingredients and help her to crush some gems, she can make you a nice daywalker ring. (Just beware because unlike some witches, Bebe doesn’t make them subtle. She believes you need some bling in that ring.) It’s her job to tend the foyer and the Yule Log in the Great Witches Hall.

Recall Bebe also owns a very special, hidden bookstore, one that specializes in the preservation and restoration of rare and antique books and manuscripts.

(Of course we also know this didn’t stop Bebe from getting Mr. Mutt’s rare book of survival spells destroyed. Did she really copy & destroy it to save it? And where did she hide the pieces? But that’s another story which Alex sums up here.)

So how did Bebe end up as a quasi demonic vamp witch?

Well the record shows something going very wrong with the ninth generation of her family. Maybe an ancient deal or a truce or curse of judgement between one of her ancestors and a Vampire’s council known as the GVVC? We don’t know.

What is clear, is that an over-passionate vampire named Damion came to claim Bebe’s sister Vee and then later Bebe herself as an unwilling bride.

A team of survivors helped Bebe to escape Damion’s clutches a couple of times but unfortunately her sister Vee died in the process. And Bebe herself was not unscathed. Her sister Vee managed to bite her and it wasn’t long before Bebe’s comments devolved into the first of about a million….soooo thirsty! posts.

Also, her hair turned temporarily blue, her fingernails silver and she woke up wearing bowling shoes.  Can we blame Damion for the bowling shoes? Unclear. The good news is that Damion was finally defeated.

Unfortunately, Bebe’s little brother Spark, himself a crazy maze-making sorcerer is a sworn enemy of the vampires. Spark is the kind of guy who would trade his own kids for a dragonscale suit. In fact that’s exactly what he did. He also did not appreciate his sister being a vampire and now with Damion defeated, Bebe had to worry about her brother Spark instead. Could things get any worse?

Well yes. They did. In particular recall the Zanthre incident. Survivors on the site launched an offensive against this demonic trouble maker  who can cage you forever with your own shadow. It was a massive offensive, attracting a mysterious Soul Eater named Soulgard who joined the fray just to clean up the soul mess.

Then things went wrong. In the heat of battle, Bebe ended up fighting with Soulgard for her soul even though she wasn’t even dead. Bebe made a dangerous deal for her soul. She offered to recover defeated Damion’s soul and give that to Soulgard in exchange. This lead Bebe on a dangerous journey to recover Damion’s soul, which she trapped in a crystal around her neck and returned to the battle. But the battle  against Zanthre was heating up and suddenly Bebe needed to do something else with Damion’s soul.

To save her own life and increase her strength, Bebe swallowed the crystal containing Damion’s soul. This helped defeat Zanthre, but it left Bebe with a stomachache and some very questionable demonic powers. And what will happen to her if Soulgard ever comes back to claim the soul crystal?

There are lots of other exciting incidents and battles. A cyborg chauffeur briefly turned her into Bebe Bot. (Let’s not even talk about her demon twins TK and Zyborgana, it just makes Wolf Princess upset.) And she has really bad luck with roses. Around Bebe they always turn into something bad. Think fairies that take over your home. Or worse, fire flowers that threaten to destroy everything.

But back to the title. Here’s why you should think twice about going on vacation with Bebe. Yes, I’m talking about the vampire cruise. I guess we can forgive her for embracing her vampire side. After all she didn’t exactly choose to become one. No sooner has Bebe recruited all the survivalists but disaster strikes and it turns out to be a monster trap, the boat sinking and everyone trapped. 

Questionable vacay choices aside, Bebe is a great survivor with lots of good advice and helpful to everyone including me. Who else could teach you the real dangers of unattended bags? 

You probably won’t encounter the legendary Bebe on these pages anymore, but we have reason to believe she is still surviving out there somewhere, so maybe you or I will run into her at one of many Wych’s Fairs between the worlds. (If I can ever get there before they disappear!)