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Four Million Day Keeping On Keeping On Contest Announcement

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Another million lives saved?!? Who knew SOS would keep on keeping on so long? Certainly not Graham. Or Alex. And not even me. Truth be told I fully expected to be shambling through a hospital ward by now, groaning to myself about either brains, blood or bionics. (I just added that last one because it started with ‘b’. I never expected bionics. That would be way too awesome.)

Happy Four Million Day Contest Announcement
Happy Four Million Day Contest Announcement

Yet here we are. And it’s all thanks to you and all the other survivors who have stopped by to leave a survival report or a tip or two over the last million. It seems like only yesterday the mysterious Vampire A.A. and of course, Alex, were the only ones who survived to tell their tale on the site. Like only yesterday their very appearance left Graham a terrified mess on the closet floor, threatening to quit. Actually wait, that was yesterday. Huh. No wonder it seems that way.

I’ve learned a lot from all of you over the millions and we continue to work toward a better formula that will help everybody share comments and reports in easier ways, along with the right way to include survival reports in the show but as you probably know by now Survival is a process, not an end. And not a fast process at that with everybody just trying to beat the odds and keep alive. Which as long as you do that, everything else remains possible.

But enough about that. This was supposed to be about a contest right? And so it is! Graham and I have finally agreed on a format which you can read about by clicking here. The prizes come in multiples of four, so read all about it here. 

Also coming soon:

–>> Random memories of Survivors Past. There have been others as iconic as the Vampire A.A. I would send them all prizes except a) I still have a day job and could never afford that especially when b) I’m not sure they would still check that email. So the best I can do is memorialize them from time to time for everything they have taught me and believe they are still keeping on out there somewhere.

 

–>> Survivor of the Month

Happy Four Million Day Survivors. And thanks again for keeping on SOS with me, supernaturally.

Frankenmoon Halloween Survival: You and Your Disguise

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As the Frankenmoon rises on the freakiest Halloween since the Great Blood Moon of 2002, please take a minute out from battening down your hatches to recall the true supernatural survival roots of Halloween and evaluate the survival quotient of your Halloween disguise – before it’s too late.

As many readers know, Halloween marks the end of the happy harvest season of celebration and the start of the long dark teatimes of the soul, which before electricity must have been even longer and darker. With less tea. On Halloween the fabric between the worlds, all worlds, is thin and fragile. You just need a little frankenmoon frankenstorm to blow a frankenhole in that layer and we’re all frankenfurters. Who will pop through the Halloween hole this year?  You can never tell until it’s too late.

That’s why this Halloween more than ever, your survival may depend on a superior supernatural survival strategy. And a strategic disguise is the foundation of any good supernatural survival plan. Contrary to popular belief a good disguise is not always the one that gets you the most candy. Girls you know what I’m talking about here. I’m not going to say any more.

Sure candy is important. Candy can play a vital role in your Frankenmoon Halloween survival strategy. Remember the lady who survived for 7 weeks in her car in the woods of Nevada with only snow and candy to eat? But remember, this was not on Halloween, so she didn’t need to disguise herself.

How's your disguise, survivaly speaking? Hopefully better than this.

The ancients understood the benefits of a really good disguise. Werewolves dressed up as grandmothers, elves disguised as rocks, babies made to look like cabbages, that kind of thing. All good strategies to outsmart malicious spirits. Nobody likes cabbage, not even a zombie. Unless it’s pickled cabbage, then yeah, sure you might meet a hungry zombie. Otherwise, a giant head of cabbage is an excellent disguise for a baby. Or anyone really who doesn’t want to attract the attention of frisky frankenmoon supernatural tourists.

So why doesn’t anyone disguise themselves as a rock or a cabbage anymore? Where did we go so horribly wrong?

This disguise for example, sent to us by Karlito, who you may also recognize as the 2 millionth survivor. Clearly Karlito is not going to make it through this Frankenmoon Halloween. I am genuinely concerned. A costume like this screams a Survival Quotient or SQ of “supernatural sucker.”

(No offense intended to you Karlito. I know you’re the leader of a big pack but still. Survival is serious business.)

Please survivors, we can do better. Take your survival seriously. If you want to pre-screen your disguise choice, please feel free to send it in like Karlito did and we can all help by rating your SQ and giving tips to help you survive.

Above all keep on keeping on as the Frankenmoon brings a stormy Halloween.

Survivor of the Month questions are coming up and we will announce the winner on Halloween. Until then have a look at some of the Frankemoon freakiness happening here on the site or watch werewolf videos at yourlupinelife.com

Get Your Loaf Ready For Magic. It’s Lammas Eve!

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Tomorrow is August 1st. In many jurisdictions around the world it is a holiday but many forget the reason for this holiday. (Hint – It is not just an excuse to go camping at the lake.

Lammas Loaf marked with ancient witch symbol for yummy.

No instead Lammas, as the day is known by those who still remember (read immortal or exceptionally aka supernaturally long-lived), is a celebration of the first fruits of the harvest. Now they don’t mean fruits literally in this case, more as in results, anyways the point is that is you get yourself a couple of nice loaves of bread and take them down to your local witch or coven of witches and give them one loaf to eat they will enchant the other loaf and give it back to you.

No kidding! Your very own loaf of magic bread! How awesome is that? Very. That’s how awesome.

Now you may ask, “Seth, what good exactly is a magic loaf of bread?”

To which I would reply, “Well I am not 100% sure but I bet that maybe Bebe or MrJaffa could tell us. All I know is that magic bread has to be about 1o times more awesome than regular bread and probably at least half as fattening.”

Post in the comments below if you have any stories of celebrating Lammas or have magic loaf stories or pics to share.

I’ll be back with some more stuff tomorrow including early clues for the Survivor of the Month and maybe even the SOS Survival Hall of Fame…

And something else…

Aliens: How to Deal With An Alien

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alienDangerSign-Small-optDEALING WITH AN ALIEN or “VISITOR”

Aliens object to being called aliens, preferring the term, “visitor,” so never say, “Hey Alien please don’t incubate those eggs inside my chest cavity,” say “Hey visitor, I’m using that.”

Aliens or visitors are a diverse bunch. Consider: there are 9 trillion planets in our universe with an unknown number of species on each planet. So you’ll want to memorize the following 9 trillion rules for dealing with them…

Kidding! The point is there are no hard and fast rules for dealing with them, only guidelines and anecdotal reports that need to be updated all the time:

Anecdotal Report #1: Aliens or visitors love cat food and M & Ms. Mix the two together and carry them on you at all times. True or False?

Anecdotal Report #2: Aliens or visitors hate water. Arm yourself with an automatic water gun with lots of rounds, a wheelbarrow full of water balloons or just a good garden hose and watch them turn around. Confirm or correct?

Anecdotal Report #3: Aliens or visitors seek the warmth of your chest cavity to incubate their babies. You can fool them with a hyper-cooling ice vest like the kind worn by Olympic athletes in training. Please confirm or correct.

Anecdotal Report #4: When dealing with one hostile alien being who possibly wants to lay eggs in your warm chest cavity or hug your face with its tentacles, try the “Have You Met My Little Friend?” strategy. There are many complicated variations of this strategy but in short it involves introducing one hostile alien to another and hoping they will provoke a fight with each other, thus forgetting about you.

** UPDATE **

Hey Aliens, Friends of Aliens and people who are afraid of Aliens, there is new proof of alien life on Earth. Check out the photographic evidence of Aliens among us.

** UPDATE #2 **

And yet more proof of alien life on earth. You will want to wash your appendages after reading this article.

** UPDATE #3 **

An outpost has been discovered on Mars!

An amateur astronomer has discovered an image of what appears to be a structure on the surface of Mars. Is this evidence of life on Mars? Alien visitors to Mars? Has a secret colonization of Mars by Earth begun? No one knows for sure what the purpose of this structure may be or who built it or how long it has been there.

To see a video of it click/tap here http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=2418

** UPDATE #4 **
Delaware’s New Martian Ambassador

Delaware officially became the first Earth jurisdiction to open diplomatic relations with Mars. For more details visit this link: http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=3095