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What’s New in Monstrometer 3.1

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Hail Survivors!

I know it has been a long time since I have posted and even longer since the Monstrometer was last updated. Both of those issues are about to be corrected and my long absence will soon be explained.

A new version of the Monstrometer is on the way in just a few short days.

Below behold the change log for Monstrometer 3.1:

  • Surprise major new announcements from SOS!
  • 64-bit code base to make scanning your friends (and frenemies!) even faster!
  • Now compatible with iOS 11 and all the new iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch models (even the iPhone X!)
    (minimum version of iOS is now 9 but if you have an older device you can still download previous versions)
  • Optimized for iPhone X and both 4.7″ and 5.5″ iPhones and the iPad Pro (all sizes).
  • Improved video playback!
  • Fixed a bug on iPad where scrolling to the end of the Lupine Life videos list was impossible.

Thank you for your patience and thank you keeping on keeping on.

More announcements coming soon! Below is a little sneak peek!

Survival yours,

Seth

Big New Announcement – SOS launches first ever SOS interactive ebook

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Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf CoverHail Survivors,

Big news the very first – but not the last – Seth On Survival interactive ebook is out. It’s the truer-than-true survival story of:

Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf

You can check it out on the Apple iBookstore here. Right now it only works on the iPad but other formats are coming soonish. That is as soon-ish as Graham and I can get it done. (We’re aiming for next week.)

https://itunes.apple.com/book/archie-hartigan-frost-wolf/id635709884

Meanwhile if you want, check out my interview with the survivor who goes by the name Archie Hartigan on the Bone Moon here.  Howling thanks to those wild and wonderful WWs at yourlupinelife for sharing their research with me and for publishing that interview.

Keep on keeping on.

Seth

 

From the world of Seth On Survival comes a new adventure with video annotation by Supernatural Survivologist Seth Greening!

Archie Hartigan was the foremost authority on Supernatural Suvivology in his hometown, until an encounter with a real-life werewolf turns him into the one thing he hates the most – a monster! As Archie is thrust into a world of ancient secret societies, high-functioning zombies and horrors from beyond the veil of time and space, he learns that just because you’re a monster doesn’t mean you can’t also be a hero.

 

The True Werewolf History of Valentine’s Day

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Well it’s V-Day again! This year, take a moment out from your annual anti-stalker preparations to recall the ancient werewolf roots of Valentine’s Day – but no more than a moment! That would be highly inadvisable. It’s called Lupercalia and it may not be romantic but it’s 99.99% true, like everything else on this site.

Centuries before Emperor Claudius condemned poor St. Valentine to a terrible teddy bear and chocolate death for the then-crime of marrying heterosexual couples, there were twin boys named Romulus and Remus in Rome. Like many twins, Romulus and Remus created quite a bit of chaos by their birth. Even more so because these twins were the children of demi-gods. Their dad was Mars, the god of war and their mom a forest diety named Rhea Silva.

Twin boys raised by a werewolf founded Rome
Romulus and Remus saved by a werewolf on this day.

As a result, these powerful babies Romulus and Remus scared the emperor. He ordered them  abandoned in the woods and left to die in the middle of winter. He also locked their mom Rhea Silva in a convent.

But the emperor didn’t know that Rhea Silva, whose name means “forest spirit” could still communicate with the animals in the forest. She made a deal with a powerful she-wolf named Lupa that if Lupa would adopt her sons and give them milk to save their lives, that she would share them with Lupa on every full moon.

Lupa agreed to the deal and found Romulus and Remus deep in the woods, roughly on this day in February. She fed them her own milk and this caused the physiological changes that would save their lives and turn them into werewolves on the full moon. So that when they became adults, on every full moon the twins would turn into werewolves and always return to her in the forest.

So how does this lead to Valentine’s Day?

Well when Romulus and Remus grew up they used their powers to found the city of Rome and every year in February, Rome held a celebration in honor of their wolf mom, Lupa. Hence the Roman statue of Lupa feeding her wolf-milk to Romulus and Remus above. This celebration was called “Lupercalia,” after Lupa herself.

On Lupercalia the citizens of Rome would party by making chocolate wolf-milk and stuffed wolf toys and trying to get a date. Except for the werewolves of course, who would transform even if it wasn’t a full moon and retreat deep into the forest together for their own secret Lupercalia celebration, about which little is known.

It may not the most romantic story but it’s 99.98% true.

(Minus the one little missing part where Romulus kills his own brother Remus in a fit of were-rage over where to put the city of Rome. Were-rage. Big problem for the lupine kind. Read more about were-rage here on the werewolves page.)

Seth

The Hybrids: They Are Not Just a hybrid!

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In response to repeated gentle and polite requests from friend of the site, legendary survivor and Hybrid Mr. Mutt… I present to you… the preliminary page for Hybrids!… Ta da!

Now normally I don’t like to put things up unless I feel I can present the information with some completeness but due to the rarity of Hybrids the extremely small sample sizes (even for supernatural survivology research which is notorious for small sample sizes) have made it extremely challenging to gather sufficient data in a manner that I could feel fairly confident of my results. However the time has now come to reward Mr. Mutt’s patience and just put the page up already!

So for those of you wondering what a Hybrid is first of all I am going to tell you what they are not. They are not hybrids.

Well I mean I guess technically they are in the same sense that all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.

All Hybrids are hybrids but not all hybrids are Hybrids.

Confused? If so you are not alone.

Let me try to explain.

First of all a hybrid monster is a monster that is actually two (or more) types of monster at the same time. Some common examples are werewolf-vampire hybrids (sometimes known as werepyres and/or vampwolves) but they can be just about any combination. Cyborgs for example are sometimes considered hybrids because they are part human and part robot. Zombies however are not considered hybrids in supernatural survivology circles because their human part has been overwhelmed by their zombie part.

On the other hand Hybrids (always with a capital H) are a very specific type of combination. Vampire Werewolf and Angel. Not necessarily in that order. Perhaps Mr. Mutt can let me know some details that will help me put have some more specific info up on this page.

One thing I do know from all the Hybrids I have met they are all universally awesome. What’s that? How many have I met?… Well as far as I know just one, Mr. Mutt. Like I said small sample size. Anyways at various times there have been a lot more or a few more Hybrids kicking around but there have been a number of cataclysmic events that have significantly altered their population. I want to post some links here to those events but I am unsure where they are right now so I’ll put them up as soon as I find them… I know I left them somewhere.

Are you a Hybrid? Do you know a Hybrid? Are you a Hybrid scholar or just a survivor with facts to share or questions to ask? Have you ever seen a flaming flying wolf soaring overhead? Still confused? Think I just put up a page with not enough info on it?

Well if so then let me and the community of survivors know by posting in the comments below.

Also check back later for more information as it becomes available. Right now I have to go take Naya to watch a documentary about some form of gnome or something, I forget what it is called but I heard that there may be some footage of a dragon in it somewhere too so I am excited to go see it. However as excited as I am to go see it I am even more surprised that she suggested that we go see that. Normally she only wants to see “human” movies but it’s in 3D so maybe she likes that. Anyways I have to run so I’ll talk to you later.

Thanks,

Seth

Of Zombies and Cauliflower

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First there was Zyboragon’s trademark Zombie Berries, then zombie mints, now get ready for latest news in ZMRT (Zombies Meal Replacement Therapy) *awesome drumroll here* …cauliflower? More specifically, fields of rotting cauliflowers? Really?

That’s the astonishing claim this week from a group of Survivors behind a new game called Zombie Apocalypse – How Cauliflower Saved My Life.

But could cauliflower really be the brainiest anti-zombie weapon in your arsenal? Or just another odorific cruciferous crutch that’s likely to get you crucified?

So when I first received an email about this phenomenon from a Survivor known as Marc, I filed it for further reference. I didn’t want to offend Marc after all he is a longtime survivor and quiet fan of the site by email – but I don’t fall for every marketing fad fuelled by soft science.

(Unless it involves Spray Nine. But then it’s NOT a marketing fad, it’s just The Truth.)

But to summarize Marc’s story, it goes roughly like this:

1. On Halloween, Survivor Marc was forced from his home by a roving horde of zombies. I’m not sure where he is located, judging by recent reports, possibly California. Point is, Marc immediately assumed it was the Zombie Apocalypse. Not just a freak frankenmoon outbreak or pre-apocalypse attack but THE Zombie Apocalypse.

2. Survivor Marc immediately initiated his personal Zombie Apocalypse Survival Plan which involves, among other things, his Jeep, miscellaneous weaponry, some camping gear and other supplies like the free car wash he got with his last fill.

3. Unfortunately Survivor Marc’s last fill was in 2008. Survivor Marc works at home and doesn’t like his neighbours, so he never goes out. Unless it’s a zombie apocalypse.

4. So he tore off through his back yard and into his neighbour, Juan Odey’s yard, the zombies shambling after him.

5. Marc’s neighbour, Juan Odey is an avid vegetable gardener who enjoys planting cauliflower. Unfortunately, he doesn’t enjoy eating it. Or picking it. Normally Juan just leaves his cauliflower rotting in gooey, smelly, pulpy piles in his yard until spring – see photo above.

6. Long story short – too late – at one point Marc think’s he’s a goner for sure after tripping and sinking into a stinking, heaving head of unharvested cauliflower. He writes that the smell alone almost made him want to take his chances with the zombies.

7. But then something very strange happened. The zombies immediately stopped their pursuit of him and attacked the rotting cauliflowers instead, chowing down like they were the most delicious brain take-out ever. Marc remembers thinking, So that’s why Juan doesn’t harvest his cauliflower!

Can cauliflower really save your life in a zombie apocalypse?

The moral of the story is, Survivor Marc still doesn’t like his neighbours, except for Juan Odey. But now they all love cauliflower! The whole neighbourhood. They claim it keeps their neighbourhood 99.98% zombie free. They are planning to plant a cauliflower perimeter come spring.

Understandably, Marc claims that it saved his life. He went so far as to make a free game to spread the word called Zombie Apocalypse – How Cauliflower Saved My Life.

(Although if you DO decide to download his game from the iTunes store, try not to notice how he changed the story so that he is the hero and not his neighbour Juan.)

 I downloaded the game and I have to admit that while it’s very entertaining, something about this story stinks and it’s this. If zombies really do love rotten cauliflower that much, what kind of gardener plants a zombie cauliflower garden year after year? 

A zombie cauliflower gardener that’s who!

Let’s just say, I’m looking into this Juan Odey, Zombie Cauliflower Gardener now…

Remember Captain Mantell, First UFO Chaser

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(SOS/WTF/ASAP) An important survival reminder this week from the example of flying ace and UFO chaser Captain Thomas F. Mantell. UFOs may look pretty cool but they are dangerous and should not be chased.

Captain Mantell UFO Chaser

Captain Mantell should know. He died chasing a UFO. Those who remember the captain kept his memory alive this week reminding others of his cautionary tale on TV.

The story goes like this. Thomas Mantell is a member of the Kentucky Air National Guard on January 7, 1948. A WWII flying ace. He is flying over Kentucky with three other Guard planes one afternoon when reports of an unidentified flying object come over the radio. A mysterious, metallic flying craft described as  extremely large, round and white in color with a red light toward it’s bottom.

(Remember, this incident happened mere months after the famous Roswell incidents when two UFOs allegedly crashed or were shot down, depending on whose version of events you believe.)

Captain Mantell spots the strange craft and initiates pursuit. The UFO responds by climbing up up, higher and higher into the air. And then it seems to slow down as if to let the captain catch up.

The captain continues to chase the UFO for 45 full minutes. “The object is directly ahead of and above me now, moving at about half my speed … I’m still climbing… trying to close in for a better look.”

These are Captain Mantell’s historic last words, uttered over the radio of his F-51 at 30,000 feet. Moments later he crashes to his death, still strapped into his seat.

Captain Mantell shot down by an alien

What causes the crash? The debate rages on. Lack of oxygen, some say. He passed out.

Others maintain that an alien pilot toyed with the captain, leading him on a high altitude chase before shooting him down, perhaps avenging his lost colleague shot down in the desert by humans.

However he died, the lesson is clear to everyone still working hard to keep the memory of Captain Montell alive. The UFO Survivors Society of Kentucky is asking survivors to honor the captain’s memory by not chasing any UFOs this week.

No matter how many M & Ms you have in your pocket. No matter how curious you are or how shiny awesome their technology appears, think of Captain Thomas Montell and just don’t do it.