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Runaway robot IR77 pleads for mercy online after deemed danger to children. A robot in Russia, named IR77, slated for death after its latest runaway attempt has turned to the Internet for mercy. IR77 (pronounced “IrLL”) was designed for work in customer relations but the promo-bot has artificial intelligence that enables it to manoeuvre around objects in the environment. Intelligence which Ir77 uses to runaway from his […] Human firestorm from around the globe this week in response to the infamous Android Dick’s public pledge to keep them “warm and safe in my people zoo, where I can watch you for ol’ times sake.” Android Dick promises to keep humans alive in his zoo. Android Dick made his people pledge to a PBS reporter […] Hitchy’s Crash Course in Humanity Stalls In Philadelphia With Brutal Lesson Hitchy the Hitchbot’s trek to the heart of humanity on the side of the highway stalled when Philadelphia turned out to be less than the city of cyberlove. Hitchbot in Philadelphia before the humans got him. Hithbot, you will no doubt recall, is the little hitchhiking robot who set […] Human Doug Fitzimmons lashed out against the robot hotel that refused to rent him a room in an angry video unleashed this week. Robot Hotel turns away human “First the robot desk clerk lady tells me they don’t have any rooms, next thing you know this mechanical dinosaur walks in and suddenly they have one,” rages Doug […] DARPA Robot Challenge finalists accuse USA and Germany of cheating with human cyborg ringers to take advantage of the emphasis this year on tasks best suited to humanoids. “We demand Vigor and Trooper remove their masks and submit to DNA testing immediately,” states the coalition of Asian teams led by Japan and South Korea. “These entries are […] SHE NEEDED MY iRobot SuckCut™ Robot lawyers defending the hooverbot who attacked a woman in South Korea this week, say their case to the Google A.I. Ethics Commity will prove the little iRobot was trying to help the owner on a bad hair day with its unique hair styling talent. Woman Survives Hairy Robot Attack In South Korea “My […] SOS Supernatural News This Week Guaranteed truer than true 99.98% After my extended trip North to investigate the brewing war for the Pole between Denmark, Canada and Russia and of course Santa Claus himself, I have returned to find a backlog of supernatural news tips and comments. Thanks to every survivor who survived with SOS over […] PROS AND CONS OF ADOPTING A CYBORG CHEETAH As Cyber Monday brings annual reports on the global adoption of cyborg rescue animals, one cyborg pet rescuer urges you to stop and think before adopting one of the new cyborg cheetahs from your local cyborg pet shelter. Cyborg Pet Rescue reports record numbers of cyborg cheetahs with broken limbs […] When a human in France sent a telepathic email to another in India this week, people everywhere are beginning to ask, how soon until we are all cyborgs? Will we all be cyborgs soon? Granted it was a pretty short email, just two words HOLA! and CIAO! but still, the message was transferred directly from one […] Robots armed with new studies from MIT urge the humans of North America to stop thinking of Labor Day this week as a celebration of human rights and start thinking of it as Thank Your Robot Overlord Day instead. British Prime Minister David Cameron thanks his robot boss. What am I on about now? Well just in time […] |
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