Science and psychopaths expose yawning flaw in new yawn test
A new test to reveal potential psychos by yawning in their faces to see if they yawn back is welcome news to both survivors and psychopaths this week, who reveal the real yawning flaw.
When a Baylor University study showed how potential psychopaths do not
catch group yawn contagion because they have no empathy, survivors everywhere began conducting secret secret yawn tests.
“I told my parents the swim teacher here was a psycho when kids started disappearing but they didn’t believe me!” said a Crystal Lake camper named Samantha who organized her entire swim class to yawn- test the instructor. “Then I proved it with this video. See how we’re all yawning at the same time, right in her face? Well she never, ever yawns back!”
“Now my parents say if I survive maybe I won’t have to come back next year.”
“I guess they couldn’t get their money back.”
The new yawn-test study was unexpectedly welcome news to the psychopathic community too.
“So that’s why everyone has been yawing in my face!” said Camp Crystal Lake’s psychopathic swim teacher. “For a while I thought maybe I had to starting killing kids ahead of schedule to avoid boring them to death instead!”
Instead the psychopathic swim teacher intends to stick to her original killing schedule of one or two children every night until the final spree that will finally eliminate Samantha.
“Also maybe I’ll sign up for that new yawn-faking workshop the camp director is giving for staff,” she added.
Meanwhile Supernatural Survivologist Seth Greening reminds survivors when it comes to detecting supernatural threats in your environment, there is no substitute for his handy free diagnostic app The Monstrometer.
“Your survival is virtually guaranteed, 99.98% or your money back!” he promises.