LUNAR CAMPING SAFETY TIPS
Good news just in time for space tourism season, there’s new lunar camping gear available for your next holiday on the moon.
Like many survivors disenchanted with Lunarville overcrowding and pirate pricing, this news of a lunar safe, inflatable tent courtesy of Massachusetts Institute of Technology can’t come soon enough.
Moon city merchants could charge an astronomical amount for a crappy coffin-size bed on the dark side of the rock with measly half-rations of Soylent and Tang. After all, Lunarville had a safe haven monopoly that couldn’t be beat. With no reliable lunar camping gear on the market, you could only venture as far away from it as your rover could travel safely in a couple of hours.
Thankfully MIT’s new camping gear should turn this into a tacky souvenir T-shirt from the bad old days of space tourism. The new lunar habitat tents from MIT are portable, inflatable, with an alien-tested airlock made of silicone-coated Vectran. Not to mention available in two stylish camo colors: ash grey and dun green.
But wait. Before you rush off to click on that shopping cart, be sure and read the following safe lunar camping tips.
Tips For Safe Lunar Camping
1. Unpack it before you pack it
If you can’t deploy and inflate it, the lunar tent is a lot less effective. Not to mention uncomfortable. Make sure to practice rolling it out on a rocky surface and inflating/deflating the support tubes several times on earth before you hit the skies.
Iceland is an ideal location for this kind of dress rehearsal as long as the elves don’t interfere.
2. Test the airlock
Once your tent is fully inflated you need to test the airlock under simulated lunar conditions ie: in full space suit.
To do this, you will need to put on your space suit and go inside. Zip the entry membrane and wait for it to fill with oxygen before taking off your space suit. Triple check all meters for false readings before you relax.
3. Plan a sunny route
At any given time, the dark side of the moon is varies with its cycle. Important for you to know because your tent and its life support systems are solar powered so you will need to chart your camping trip accordingly.
Remember that one sunrise-sunset cycle on the moon is 29.5 days long — an entire Earth month so you may want to bring both a backup battery and a good sleep mask for longer trips.
4. Arm Yourself Against Space Pirates.
Space tourism season brings them out and while your new lunar tent will keep out 99.98% of predatory aliens, there is no protection against space pirates.
Another story in the news today is proof of that. Did Martian pirates hijack the Philae space rover?
We’re looking into these allegations and more now here at SOS. Until then, happy lunar camping, Survivors, long may you keep on keeping on.
Seth