*Unplug Immediately – Go off grid – cease all electronic communication.
*Stop talking entirely. Remember cyborgs can read your lips. And those that can’t do it yet are learning from you all the time.
*Use alternate strategies to communicate with friends and family, think: pigeons, SOS signals, smoke signals.
*Magnetic jewelry will scramble any transmissions you are unwittingly sending. Find stylish options online or right here during cyborg month.
*If your name is Sarah Connor, consider changing it.
*Consider investing in protective gear like a “She’s Sarah Connor —>” t-shirt.
~~~IF THE CYBORG IS YOU!~~~
Well then, er greetings to you my new Overlord. Here’s a few hints for dealing with us inferior beings:
*Be aware that others may be intimidated by your prodigious processing powers even when your intentions are good. Find a reliable joke utility to set others at ease.
*Invest in a good skin job! This may seem like a lot of hassle when you would be perfectly happy to go around in nothing but a gleaming hyperalloy endoskeleton but trust me. The time you spend grooming that living-tissue overlay will pay off for you in terms of “soft power.” It’s all about face time with others. And no just a face is not enough! A disembodied face overlay is almost worse than nothing at all.
*Two words: speech therapy. True, most cyborgs can write circles around the rest of us, but for some reason this never applies to their speech patterns. A good speech therapist can help you find the idiot in your idiom so you can jazz up those short declarative sentences with the some elliptical emotes and vernacular verbiage.
-Protect your power source! If cyborg’s have one vulnerability, this is it. Are you running on hydrogen fuel cells? Solar? Or geothermal? Be aware of the pros and cons of each. Before deciding on one, consider your downtime safety requirements along with worst-case disaster scenarios.
