Not since the Icelandic Yule Cat attacks on people with old sweaters has there been stranger, more epic news out of Iceland, a country generally known for its strange and epic news. A beast with a large, dinosaur-like body, fins, a long neck and tail and a head resembling a horse – in short an aquatic dragon has appeared.
In Iceland, the historic homeland of dragons and Vikings and gods with magic hammers, sightings of the Lagarfljótsormur is said to portend great events. The water dragon is said to have first appeared in the middle ages when a little girl took a mini-dragon known as a “lingworm” for a pet. She kept the mini-dragon in a linen chest in her room until one day it began to grow. And grow and grow.
(The story is a bit confused on this point, but allegedly the mini-dragon’s growth spurt had something to do with a magic ring the little girl received as a birthday gift. She left it out one night and well, as we all know, not even mini-dragons can resist treasure.)
When the mini-dragon got too big for the little girl’s room, she had no choice but to release it into the lake, violating several environmental bylaws but protecting her home and family. She put the dragon and the magic ring into Lake Lagarfljots because it had the same name as her dragon. And there little Lagarfljotsormur lives to this day, where he is forced to fight off poachers, still pining for his little girl who likely stopped being little several centuries ago.
So why now is little Lagarfljotsomur making waves this week? What is the great event we can expect? And more importantly, why does he appear to have gained some cyborg-y characteristics?
“What concerns me the most is the robotic look of this creature,” said Loren Coleman, director of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine. “Do you know what’s going on? Can you scan him and let me know if he is evolving?”
I told her don’t worry I’ll put the word out to all survivors on the site. I’m pretty busy trying to fix the site with Graham – it’s been pretty crashy since we hit a million survivors. Plus I have to do a double shift at Pizza del Meurto this weekend. But if anyone knows what’s going on with this beast it will be survivors on this site.