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You are here: Home / Archives for Halloween

Halloween

Demon Star Lights Halloween Night All About the Algol

October 31, 2015 By Seth Leave a Comment

Prepare for the Demons of Algol Guided by Demon Star

Add this now to your supernatural safety plan, prepare for the Demons of Algol out in full force  tonight, guided by the strange pulsing light of their star.

Learn all about the Algol
Learn all about the Algol

But Seth,  you say, for survival sake it’s too late to add to your Halloween checklist. You already reviewed and implemented your most effective supernatural disguise by now.  You already took these demon fighting tips from the Tower of London. Perhaps you even took this Halloween advice from the Vatican.

But if so, then you owe it to your supernatural self preservation to take a minute to learn about the Algol the pulsing Demon Star and to imagine the entities it guides as they will be out in full force this fine Halloween.

All About the Algol*

  1. The Demons’ Head

Algol is actually 2.85 star system of one bright star and two dimmer ones who rotate around the big one, causing its light to “pulse.” Imagine a lighthouse for demons and you get the general idea.

Ancient Egyptians saw how bad luck followed this pulsing pattern of light every 2.85 days and named it Algol, the Demon’s Head.

2.  One Demon, One Ghoul and a Severed Head

That’s what you’ll see. Hopefully long before they see you. That’s right, 2.85 demonic entities, on the prowl this Halloween night.

But what if you don’t spot them in time? What if they see you first?

It’s very possible. Probable even given the number of eyes involved here with a severed Gorgon head. But fear not!

Actually scratch that, fear enough, but don’t let your fear overwhelm your survival knowledge and using it to fight back.

3. Identify and Defeat the Smart One First

Only one is the real Algol, the real demons’ head.  The others are just a distraction  – one, a ghoul soulbound to  leader and the other literally a severed head. You must identify the leader immediately. Defeat the leader first and his entities fall too.

Now this won’t be easy. Afterall, not like the Algol will be wearing a name tag. (Exception: the demon baristas who work at Starbucks.) And the Algol knows how to fool you. You might think the Algol is the bigger one, the louder one, the better-looking one, the manlier one, for example. But the Algol loves to play with your mind so beware. The real leader here could be the little, funny-looker with the thin whiny voice.

(That said, you can safely check the severed head off your list. A body is still required equipment for leadership.)

No there’s only one real way to identify the Algol – a radiation meter. That’s right, the Algol demon will be the one emitting the most radiation, pure and simple so if you don’t have one on your device yet, better download one before you go out.

You say you don’t have access to a reliable geiger counter app? No problem. Just download The Monstrometer instead. It too will point to the Algol, 99.98% of the time under optimum conditions.

Algol active on Halloween Night
Algol activity on Halloween Night

4. Radiation-Proof Weapon & Shield

Improvisation is key here but in general we’re talking some combination of lead and/or tungsten and/or salt water here. Little known fact – even plastic will do in a pinch. In fact when it comes to neutron radiation, plastic is preferable. Bonus survival points if the plastic happens to be wet or capable of shooting some kind of saltine liquid – holy water gun anyone?

Whatever it takes to hold them off until dawn when the Algol’s power will need almost three days to recharge, ( 2.85 to be exact).

4. Keep Your Head 

Yes it’s hard to keep your head with demons around you are throwing theirs but somehow you have to remain calm and keep on keeping on. When that head comes rolling toward you like an infernal bowling ball, don’t turn and run, face it head on – pun intended! In fact, get a hold of the head if you can, it will make just as good a weapon for you as it did for Perseus.

*ALL here meaning all information contained within this report SOS supernaturally certified 99,98% true and accurate and may not be interpreted as ALL information in the known universe in relation to the Algol. For further information SOS recommends Wikipedia or Earthsky News….

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Demons, Halloween

HALLOWEEN SELF-DEFENSE EFFECTIVE DISGUISE ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR SURVIVAL

October 26, 2015 By Seth Leave a Comment

Good Disguise Your First line of Supernatural Self Defense on Halloween

I said it a million times and I’ll say it again this year —->> on Halloween a good disguise is not just your ticket to a holy haul of candy, it’s your first line of supernatural self-defence on this most supernatural of nights.

First line of supernatural defense for Halloween is a good disguise
First line of supernatural defense for Halloween is a good disguise

Don’t believe me?

Believe the Vatican then because the Vatican itself publicly endorses my Halloween survival campaign.

Quick summary the Vatican exorcist Father Aldo Buonaiuto, of the International Association of Exorcists, recommends to disguise yourself as your favourite saint.

(Unless your favourite saint is Saint Polycarp of Smyrna, the patron saint of dysentery and earaches or Saint Fiacre the patron saint of people with STDs.)

Whether you choose a saintly disguise as the good father recommends or not, the point here is that ones far wiser than me understand your need for a safe and effective Halloween disguise. When the veils between worlds is thinnest, you need to go incognito. And choosing your disguise is the most important decision you will make — right after the pressing question of pumpkin bag vs. pillow case.

In the old, old days, true fact –>> parents used to disguise their kids as rotten vegetables, putting cabbages on their heads and such. And anyone who reads this blog should know that I have been calling for a return to this practice since 2010.

St. Drogo is the patron saint of unattractive people.
St. Drogo is the patron saint of unattractive people.

But I just want to point out that while stigmata and holy relics may be of some use defending against certain ghosts, gargoyles and demons, they help you not if Halloween brings the zombies and vampires to your neighbourhood. In fact, the blood stains, fake as they may be, might actually attract them.

Not to mention all that candy is bound to bring on a CANDYMAN…

No, your best bet is still a stinking, rotten head of cabbage or other large vegetable.

Of course if you haven’t been carefully cultivating your fetid head gear by now then it’s probably too late for you. My second best advice in this case is still just this – the least you can do on this day is disguise yourself as something that you’re not.

What I mean is, if you are a human, for heaven’s sake don’t go as a human. You’re not fooling anyone. If you’re a werewolf, consider changing it up and go as a zombie for once. That’s all I’m saying. Consider a saint if you want, by all means, just make sure you do your research and pick a mighty one, of whatever tradition. For dog’s sake, don’t count on Saint Drogo, the patron saint of unattractive people to help you under the evil eye of a vengeful witch.

Follow my advice this Halloween and your survival is guaranteed, 99.98%. And oh if you’re planning a Halloween party for the big night, a review of anti-vampire party planning is essential.

Your survival is guaranteed, 99.98%.

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Filed Under: Survival News, Survival Resources Tagged With: Halloween

HALLOWEEN SELF-DEFENSE TIPS FROM THE VATICAN

October 29, 2014 By Seth 3 Comments

But is saintly disguise really supernaturally safest?

Recommendation from on high for Halloween this year – disguise yourself as a saint to fool the demons of the night says the Vatican.

Now Survivors here know I have always said that an effective Halloween disguise is more than  your ticket to a holy haul of candy. It’s your first line of supernatural self-defence as the veil between worlds thins to a dangerous degree.

Get your name off his list by midnight!
Saint Krampus

This year, the Vatican itself  endorsed my campaign. That’s right in 2014 the Vatican itself publicly endorsed my costume campaign, officially urging you to remember the real roots of Halloween and disguise yourself as a saint.

“Many say Halloween is a simple carnival, but in fact there is nothing innocent or fun about it – it is the antechamber to something much more dangerous,” stated Vatican exorcist Father Aldo Buonaiuto, of the International Association of Exorcists, before issuing his Halloween costume edict: Disguise yourself as a saint. 

Now ancient people like Father Aldo have always understood the real roots of Halloween and the reason for a good disguise but this is the first time one of them has recommended such a specific costume. In the old days, true fact –>> a responsible parents would just put a rotten cabbage or other giant vegetable on their kids heads. And anyone who reads this blog should know that I have been calling for a return to this practice since 2010.

Father Aldo, however, doesn’t hold with the rotting vegetable crowd. The good father says to dress up as your favourite saint. But should you really take the Vatican’s advice and scrap that clown costume in favour of some saintly robes?

What if your favourite saint is Saint Polycarp of Smyrna, the patron saint of dysentery and earaches? Or Saint Fiacre the patron saint of people with STDs?

Hmm on second thought Saint Fiacre might actually be a good choice..

Well presumably Father Aldo is referring to one of the more powerful saints, think the mighty Saint Catherine depicted above, or St. Francis. Of course, other religions have saints too. The Buddhist jackal man Śiyalipa comes to mind, or the chanty Hindu Sant Kabir.

St. Drogo is the patron saint of unattractive people.
St. Drogo is the patron saint of unattractive people.

But I just want to point out that while stigmata and holy relics may be of some use defending against certain ghosts, gargoyles and demons, they help you not if Halloween brings the zombies and vampires to your neighbourhood. In fact, the blood stains, fake as they may be, might actually attract them.

Not to mention all that candy is bound to bring on a CANDYMAN…

No, your best bet is still a stinking, rotten head of cabbage or other large vegetable.

Of course if you haven’t been carefully cultivating your fetid head gear by now then it’s probably too late for you. My second best advice in this case is still just this – the least you can do on this day is disguise yourself as something you’re not.

What I mean is, if you are a human, for heaven’s sake don’t go as a human. You’re not fooling anyone. If you’re a werewolf, consider changing it up and go as a zombie for once. That’s all I’m saying. Consider a saint if you want, by all means, just make sure you do your research and pick a mighty one, of whatever tradition. For dog’s sake, don’t count on Saint Drogo, the patron saint of unattractive people to help you under the evil eye of a vengeful witch.

Follow my advice this Halloween and your survival is guaranteed, 99.98%. Be sure and check back here on Halloween night when SOS will post the next  Monstrometer Report on this very important issue.

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Filed Under: Survival News, Survival Videos Tagged With: Halloween

Think Twice Before Snogging In Public Demon Targets Couples – True Survivor Report

November 5, 2013 By Seth 23 Comments

The apparition of an angry demon causing the disappearance of a cuddly couple on Halloween night has the city of Pickering, Ontario in turmoil today, according to another true survivor report from THE HATTER, monster therapist at large. Is this a classic case of a demon who targets touchy-feely couples or just another excellent lesson that demonstrates the need for a good disguise to survive the All Hallow’s Eve?

Couple disappears after demon attack
True Survival Report by The Hatter: Couple disappears after demon attack

Read on if you value your supernatural survival.

First consider the case against cuddling. Demons, like psychopaths, are well-known for attacks on couples prone to public displays of affection or PDAs. For that matter, it should be noted that demons don’t really like private displays of affection or PDAs either. Study after survival study has demonstrated the touchy truth that handsy humans are always the first to suffer in any encounter with a demon.

Primarily this is because demons, while really unholy awesome at a lot of things, generally have difficulty in the er, generative way. This is one of the main reasons they go around making deals for first-borns and popping up in sweaty situations where they aren’t exactly invited.

Is this what occurred in the photo reported by The Hatter? –>>

Look at the known facts. When this Canadian couple stopped for a snoggy sojourn in an empty field on Halloween night, they wound up… gone. Judging by the photo, it appears they may have may have been literally melted into a gray and gooey heap, very likely subsumed into the demon itself.

But wait. On the other hand, this photo, taken on Halloween night, clearly depicts a couple who failed to heed the example of the ancients on this Hallowed occasion. How many times do I have to say this? Why do you think they hid their babies in rotting heads of cabbage? Because they smelled better? Possibly partly, but even so then why do you think witches historically claim this season? It’s not just because there’s new straw for their brooms. Your ongoing existence today is proof that it takes the hard work and good disguises of everyone to keep the supernatural forces of darkness at bay when the veil between the worlds stretches thin.

And the first rule, as every survivor knows, is that while your disguise doesn’t have to be epic, it should at least not look exactly like you. As in the case of these two humans. At least I assume they are human. Although, I would have to scan them to be 99.98% certain, judging by this photo, they certainly appear unabashedly human.  And that should be a sobering lesson to every survivor about why we still wear a disguise on Halloween night.

In any case, until we know more, survivors are being asked to recall primary demon survival protocol.

Primary Demon Survival Protocol

1. Name that demon. The first step to banishing any demon is of course to name the demon.  Once you know the demon’s name, you know its modus operandi, it’s strengths and weaknesses (numbers, incantations, elements etc.) along with the angel(s) assigned to fight it. So, first things first, anyone know this demon?

2. Avoid any un-ncessary PDAs. Even – or especially – PDAs in dark fields. No matter how much s/he melts your heart, ask yourself is it really worth a melted face?

3. Start planning for next Halloween today. Don’t let that sack of sugery survival snacks lull you into a false sense of security. Next year, this could be you.

Many thanks to The Hatter for another true survival report.

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Demons, Halloween, The Hatter, True Survivor Report

This Week In Survival October 25, 2013

October 25, 2013 By Seth 45 Comments

Ah Halloween! With supernatural forces already marshalling their troops for the big night, everybody is planning their disguise. If you haven’t planned yours yet, remember my number one rule for effective Halloween costume construction – try not to look so much like you. Sure you might think it’s fun to let loose your lycanthropy on Halloween but there are two reasons that you shouldn’t:

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!
Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!

1. Candy Collection – Study after study has shown an inverse relationship between the similarity of your costume to you and the amount of candy you can cop from any individual donor. Capisce? (<—LESS CANDY.) Do I even need to remind you of the well-documented survival benefits of candy? If so, just recall the lady who lived for 7 weeks on just one bag of candy in the middle of the Nevada desert. Think about that as you make your rounds. That pillow case or plastic pumpkin could feed your entire family for the duration of the apocalypse.

2. Supernatural Surveillance – With the veil between worlds at its thinnest, supernatural forces  – and the forces who oppose them – are out in full. Those who aren’t spoiling for a fight, are taking notes for later. And even if you personally are up for wrestling with a leprechaun, do you really want to give reliable intel to a possible enforcement agent?  If the answer is no, then remember how our ancestors did it. Make sure that your costume is:

  • Very not like you
  • Smelly. Yes, I mean that. Our ancestors favoured rotting cabbage leaves. On the heads of their babies. I urge you follow suit.
  • Warm.

Keep that in mind Survivors. Now it’s time to document who survived this week and how, before Halloween takes its toll.

Survival Ration Redistribution or No Survival Ration Redistribution? Do you collect the candy or not? 

–>> CHAOS claims he has no idea what I’m talking about… should I explain it to him? Or is this a species thing?

Chuffed up Chupacabra?

–>> Anyone want an autograph? Seems like HATTER and MR. MUTT do er I mean don’t. Why does he think he’s a hero anyway? And is it wrong to say you’re one? What if you really are one?

Dream Amulets from the Druid

–>> A royal visit from BELLADONNA… this is no dreamcation. When will I receive her royal journal? Find out if you want your dream amulet, and trust me you do. You mark the spot on your body that you want it just before going to bed and when you wake up? It’s there. How long do they work anyway? You want to check this out!

Area 51 Alert & Imposter Seth: 

–>> This doesn’t look good. MR. MUTT & KZAZ & REAPER teaming up to figure it out — but who’s making the me impersonations here? I mean, it’s not the worst advice – but still! I don’t look like that…

Troll Soup Cure

–>> Ever use it? FENRIR has an interesting use for it here but what is it anyway?

Hades Not So Hot? 

–>> A startling claim by SCARLETT. Let’s get to the bottom of this…

–> How did the HATTER escape it anyway? Will he explain?

How Do You Eat Your Candy?

–>> With the wrapper ON like TOOTHLESS?   That’s gonna make for a messy Halloween. Are you prone to this? Be prepared before you end up plastinated…

Mystery Girl

–>> Is seeing ghosts. Anyone want to say hi and help solve a MYSTERY? 

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Halloween, This Week In Survival

Frankenmoon Halloween Survival: You and Your Disguise

October 28, 2012 By Seth 13 Comments

As the Frankenmoon rises on the freakiest Halloween since the Great Blood Moon of 2002, please take a minute out from battening down your hatches to recall the true supernatural survival roots of Halloween and evaluate the survival quotient of your Halloween disguise – before it’s too late.

As many readers know, Halloween marks the end of the happy harvest season of celebration and the start of the long dark teatimes of the soul, which before electricity must have been even longer and darker. With less tea. On Halloween the fabric between the worlds, all worlds, is thin and fragile. You just need a little frankenmoon frankenstorm to blow a frankenhole in that layer and we’re all frankenfurters. Who will pop through the Halloween hole this year?  You can never tell until it’s too late.

That’s why this Halloween more than ever, your survival may depend on a superior supernatural survival strategy. And a strategic disguise is the foundation of any good supernatural survival plan. Contrary to popular belief a good disguise is not always the one that gets you the most candy. Girls you know what I’m talking about here. I’m not going to say any more.

Sure candy is important. Candy can play a vital role in your Frankenmoon Halloween survival strategy. Remember the lady who survived for 7 weeks in her car in the woods of Nevada with only snow and candy to eat? But remember, this was not on Halloween, so she didn’t need to disguise herself.

How's your disguise, survivaly speaking? Hopefully better than this.

The ancients understood the benefits of a really good disguise. Werewolves dressed up as grandmothers, elves disguised as rocks, babies made to look like cabbages, that kind of thing. All good strategies to outsmart malicious spirits. Nobody likes cabbage, not even a zombie. Unless it’s pickled cabbage, then yeah, sure you might meet a hungry zombie. Otherwise, a giant head of cabbage is an excellent disguise for a baby. Or anyone really who doesn’t want to attract the attention of frisky frankenmoon supernatural tourists.

So why doesn’t anyone disguise themselves as a rock or a cabbage anymore? Where did we go so horribly wrong?

This disguise for example, sent to us by Karlito, who you may also recognize as the 2 millionth survivor. Clearly Karlito is not going to make it through this Frankenmoon Halloween. I am genuinely concerned. A costume like this screams a Survival Quotient or SQ of “supernatural sucker.”

(No offense intended to you Karlito. I know you’re the leader of a big pack but still. Survival is serious business.)

Please survivors, we can do better. Take your survival seriously. If you want to pre-screen your disguise choice, please feel free to send it in like Karlito did and we can all help by rating your SQ and giving tips to help you survive.

Above all keep on keeping on as the Frankenmoon brings a stormy Halloween.

Survivor of the Month questions are coming up and we will announce the winner on Halloween. Until then have a look at some of the Frankemoon freakiness happening here on the site or watch werewolf videos at yourlupinelife.com

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Frankenmoon, Halloween, SOS Survival, Survivor of the Month

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