Discovered (2:31 am) :
Astonishing new evidence of alien activity on earth.
Stopped at an all-night drug store in a strange neighborhood tonight between pizza deliveries for a can of guarana and some hydrogen pyroxide and spotted this alien health product, right out on a shelf beside the dental floss ============>>>>
And no you’re not dreaming. Trust me, I thought the same thing. But it does in fact say, ANTI-GRAVITY CREAM. A cream that is clearly designed to assist alien beings adapt to the gravitational forces of our planet by neutralizing its effect on the body when you apply it.
This Anti-Gravity Cream by Dermaglob promises aliens the ability to overcome earth’s centripetal force for a mere $89.00. This price seems pretty reasonable to me, considering NASA spends around 20 billion doing the same thing!
But to be fair to NASA, it’s unclear how many tubes of this gravity defying cream one would need to achieve weightlessness or how long the anti-gravity effect would last.
Unfortunately I was not able to test it. By the time I realized I was NOT asleep on a bad dreamcation, I took this photo with my iPhone before the clerk made a beeline for me. I have to say, she seemed strange and maybe little bit floaty.
And did she ever move FAST. She grabbed the bottle right out of my hand and asked if she could help me. When I asked her just how much Anti-Gravity Cream it would take for me to float out of there, she pretended I was joking. Clever.
But I persisted. I asked her if I could just try some, a little bit, just to see. But no. It’s not made for you, she says. I WONDER WHY! I didn’t say that but I thought it. I hope she couldn’t read minds. Anyway, she stood there guarding the shelf until I had to go on another call.
Which is too bad because the next call was 3 extra-larges to a fifth floor walk up – I could have used a little help with gravity.
So has anyone else spotted this cream in their neighborhood? And if so were you able to try it?